Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Mozo the Asian Zen Philosopher Has a Secret

It involves a vat of Crisco, six dozen chicken carcasses, and a merchant marine black market in Mumbai, back in 2008.

Crazy Eyes Karen probably violates the H.C. side of the equation, but whatevs. I’m enjoying a HoHo, and this site is free, so deal with it.

# posted by douchebag1
12:16 pm March, 13 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Having dated many a Crazy-Eyed Karen-type chick over the years, the Old Choad can tell you they hump like crazed ferrets on speed and make more noise in the sack than Rev Chad after a double bean and cheese burrito.

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.They’re also the most likely to hack into your computer, set your bed on fire (as in: actually set your bed on fire) and call up everyone from your boss to your 6th Grade teacher to “find out what’s wrong with you” when you finally tire of their over-eager, rabid-rabbit-in-heat schtick.

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.They are, however, remarkably easy to undress…and find a gear shift knob to be but a minor obstacle when they’re slurping after a knob of a different sort.

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.Carburetors

12:18 pm March, 13 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

By the way: her eyes are so far apart she could be hunting insects.

12:20 pm March, 13 Douche of Hazard said...

Hey Mozo, thats not how a combover works.

12:21 pm March, 13 jonezy said...

I wonder if he ever dusts her love cave with his fwip-top like an umpire cleaning home plate? That would really be the only acceptable excuse for the atrocity he calls hair.

12:25 pm March, 13 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Her eyes are so far apart you could fit Newt Gingrich’s ego between them.

12:27 pm March, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Why is he wearing a shirt that says General Tso’s Chicken ?

12:29 pm March, 13 tall guy said...

Have a go at the face on this idiot. It screams *I was once forced to gobble the cocks of entire football team but since I started working out at Tony’s Gym they don’t bother me.*

12:30 pm March, 13 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Her eyes are so far apart, when you’re doing it doggy-style, and you jam her face down in a pillow, she still knows where to point and laugh.

12:30 pm March, 13 tall guy said...

Nah! The shirt says “boil noodles for three minutes.”

12:45 pm March, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d fuck her only if I was using a pseudonym disguised as an alias if I were undercover and in disguise in another country sporting a british accent (no respect, wankers) as long as I wasn’t in Britain at the time and carrying only cash and clothes I has bought that day with the intent to throw them out as I left the country the next morning on an early flight home under a pseudo-pseudonym. And only if I was at her hotel in the hallway using a condom and if it was loud enthusiatic anal. And by enthusiastic I mean I wouldn’t ask first cause she’s been taking it hard for 15 years or more. 15 years I says.

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Burritto farts. I’m going rogue like Sarah Palin in am HBO special, that was a funny hatchet job and I’d fuck Sarah Palin in a minute mountain goat style with guns and fish guts and shit because she is one super hot MILF, and feeding the kids their first ever bacon, egg, and toast supper. Cause cholesterol is the way I roll. Son.

12:45 pm March, 13 Evilmoose said...

They look alike…incest douche bangathon?

12:47 pm March, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her eyes are so far apart she sucks cock in stereo.

12:54 pm March, 13 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I think he probably blew the football team willingly… hey he needed the protein.

1:01 pm March, 13 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Not sure what’s up with you guys today. I’m sort of diggin C. E. Karen’s look. Anything goes with her. Anything goes in her. Its all good. Yeah, the custom eye wear is going to be costly, but that’s the price you have to pay I guess.

1:29 pm March, 13 Douchble Helix said...

Michelle Bachmann crazy, or Betty Davis crazy?

1:51 pm March, 13 Vin Douchal said...

Don’t know if Crazy Eyes Karen probably violates the H.C. side of the equation but Mozo violates every rule of decency and decorum. Stinky greaseball

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Teetotalers

1:52 pm March, 13 Doucheywallnuts said...

Her eyes are so far apart she read for the lead part in “Jaws.”

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Sammy Davis, Jr had a saying about crazy looking broads, “If you see me with her, I’m fightin’ not fuckin’!”

1:52 pm March, 13 Doucheywallnuts said...

BTW, what happened to One Word Tuesday?

1:53 pm March, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Choad 12:16p, so, what IS wrong with you?

2:24 pm March, 13 troy tempest said...

CE Karen is fine. Except for her massive alcoholism. And that she smokes like a house afire. And she has a voice like a grackle. Yeah -a grackle. And she hasn’t much of a butt, and what’s there is all dimply and cellulitic. Yeah – cellulitic. And her boobs are cross-eyed. But other than that, she’s all smokin and ready because you know she:

a. SWALLOWS. Cheerfully.

b. takes it in the brown. Cheerfully.

c. has a shitload of liquor in the fridge

d. is pretty good at cribbage, so there’s something to do after she glugs down your baby batter.

2:43 pm March, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this what happens to Peter Pumpinhead and Mary Mamageddon when they aren’t exposed to bronzer OR sunlight for more than an hour?

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the horror, the horror

3:14 pm March, 13 Baron Von Goolo said...

If the eyes are the window to the soul, CEKaren’s window is narrowed and barred, allowing only a dim shaft of dusty light to illuminate the dank stone room where her shattered dreams huddle in a corner, weeping softly to an audience of centipedes and daddy issues. Or maybe she’s just had too much Red Bull.

4:48 pm March, 13 Stephanie said...

Mozo=retarded haircut guy that can’t find a shirt that fits,because he’s already size Ape 3X.

5:07 pm March, 13 Nostradouchus said...

Fact: The shirt was stolen from an actual Asian man. The size gave it away.

7:29 pm March, 13 Douchble Helix said...

He *does* resemble Peter Puminhead.

8:11 pm March, 13 DarkSock said...

3:14 pm, kids.

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^THAT is why I am so gay for Baron Von Goolo.

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SO gay

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Gaylords.

8:50 pm March, 13 bilbodouchebaggins said...

gayest. wristwatch. ever.

10:51 pm March, 13 tall guy said...

All say it’s the gayest wristwatch ever. What’s with the moof buckle? And it’s white!

1:36 pm March, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

BVG FTW.

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She just took a train ride. She likes to ride the rails.

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See what I did there?

9:31 pm March, 14 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Good God, what’s “Ex Wife #2” doing on this site?

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Lasted six months, and I had to leave the country to make her stop appearing on my lawn at 4 am, buck naked and screaming “he raped me….four weeks ago!!!”

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