Thursday, March 22, 2012

Sleepy Jerkenstein Shares Knowledge With Cindy

“Did you know that every time you lick a stamp you’re consuming 1/10th of a calorie?”

“Did you know that Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes?”

“Did you know that Heinz ketchup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year?”

“Did you know that Armadillos can be housebroken?”

“Did you know that peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite?”

“Did you know that a hummingbird weighs less than a penny?”

“Did you know that the sore located in my upper thigh area is, in fact, infectious?”

# posted by douchebag1
2:18 pm March, 22 tall guy said...

This fat little turd was recently exposed. I’m guessing that he was also regularly fucked in the arse while serving time for petty larceny, which amounted to stealing from old age pensioners.

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Now he likee cockee.

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Also, suck that gut in you little hambeast!

2:25 pm March, 22 Douche of Hazard said...

Farm God? I hope this turd has a trust fund. I don’t see gainful employment in his future.

2:32 pm March, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Me thinks a certain cute little brunette never got the pony she always asked daddy for.

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payback

2:33 pm March, 22 anonydouche said...

I think this is 1/2 of Innocence and Pooface from several posts back. Tattoo should read, “please shoot it in my eye… For God”

2:35 pm March, 22 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I’ve drawn better tattoos of sleeping drunks.

Sharpie

2:54 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

“Did you know Douchebags can NOT be housebroken.”

2:56 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

Someone’s crying for attention……

2:57 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

He’s the kind of guy that if you stare at him, he will yell, “Whatcha Look’n At Mudafuka??”

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Like, has he looked in the mirror? He is a freaking, walking, Etch-A-Sketch.

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ASvB

2:58 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

From the looks of it, he knows where the best All-You-Eat Buffets are.

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ASvB

2:59 pm March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

A truer HCwDB I haven’t seen in quite awhile. An indeed, per the tatt on his knuckles, he is lucky to be that close to her.

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What looks like possibly nice jugs has me irritated on this 80 degree late March afternoon that and that she somehow looks like she’s psyched to pose with this faux rawker.

3:00 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

What does she see in him??

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Either he has a MASSIVE BANK ACCOUNT, or a 12″ penis.

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ASvB

3:01 pm March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

He’s the kind of guy that if you stare at him, he will say “S’up kid you feelin’ this/”

3:02 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

Did he walk into the tattoo parlor and say, “Just Fuck Me Up, Go Nuts!”

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ASvB

3:03 pm March, 22 Adolf Skroatler said...

OK, time to get back to work…. By the way, he’s been kicked out of the “White Peoples Club.”

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ASvB

3:03 pm March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

He’s the kind of guy that if you stare at him, he will say “What’s up dog? you gotta beef?

3:06 pm March, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

He’s the kind of guy that refers to weed as da chronic.

3:08 pm March, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This guy makes me so mad that I’m seeing in italics.

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Fonters

3:11 pm March, 22 The Dude said...

Wretch-A-Sketch

3:22 pm March, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Man, why don’t all you hatterz just back off. What you don’t know is that Sleepy J has been paralyzed from the eyelids down since last summer when he tried to do a kegstand while on the back of his bro’s party boat last year and he lost his balance. Luckily for him, yo, was that his bling got stuck on the tap and he didn’t drown or nuthin’. Instead he just went half way overboard and kept floppin’ around like a retarded kangaroo abortion for like 20 minutes because we thought he was just bein’ funny and shit. Now it take him everything he’s got just to sit upright, knowhatimean? We still fuck with him every now and then by takin’ him to the tatt shop and get shit put on him. He don’t feel it or nuthin’. And it’s pretty funny seein’ him tryin’ to move and shit when we got him a Hello Kitty tramp stamp. That shit was dope yo!

3:24 pm March, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did you know that organisms with only one brain cell can still feel pain?

3:26 pm March, 22 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Did you know that douchebags with abundant “body art” eventually collect a government check?

3:33 pm March, 22 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He was voted most likely to be caught in a smoke filled van during lunch period in high school… and he still holds to that title to this day when he takes his lunch at his lucrative janitorial position at White Castle.

Slyders and Chicken rings!

3:37 pm March, 22 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Yo, medicaid won’t pay fo’ my muthafuckin’ chronic yo, ain’t dat shiz a muthafuckin’ bitch, I gots a subscription from my doc and everything yo’!

3:54 pm March, 22 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Yo, me and lil’ Reggie from the next block over in dat’ other hood behind my mom and pops crib gots so muthafuckin’ high last week, we tried to smoke my muthafuckin’ shoe!

4:02 pm March, 22 Ted Brogan said...

This angrifies me.

4:16 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know Daddy left when I was seven?

4:16 pm March, 22 Vin Douchal said...

So ,… what should I get on my nose?

4:16 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know I never got enough attention as a child?

4:17 pm March, 22 melvil_duchi said...

“pull my finger”

4:17 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know I was captured by gypsies and soaked in the Croatian News?

4:17 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know that my pisser had two holes until my Daddy plugged one?

4:18 pm March, 22 melvil_duchi said...

“no, I got them using silly putty on newspapers”

4:20 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know that Fred Durst is the greatest artist ever?

4:22 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know that my tattoo artist doesn’t have colour vision?

4:23 pm March, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Did you know that I’m a dirty mid-western white trash meat puppet? What?

4:34 pm March, 22 Rev. Burpypants said...

Did you know that her other arm is in my colon?

4:37 pm March, 22 Vin Douchal said...

Yes , it’s spelled “d-i-g-u-s-t-i-n………. Hey wait a minute!

4:43 pm March, 22 Rev Chad stonerd said...

Did you know DB1 has filters on here now so you can’t show Goatse (respect) and tubgirl anymore. What about Tonetta? Tonetta I says! Fuck my wife wants me to stay up late to try to sleep through an entire evening. Fucking American Idol I bet. Fuck me. I might as well fly to Vancouver and leave this life to work with the Yakuza as a hit-man cause Honey Badger don’t give a fuck! Fucking cocksucker lawyers sucking the life out of me bastards.

4:44 pm March, 22 Wheezer said...

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Yep, this little fucknut has indeed fouled the page before, and has indeed still earned a beatdown.

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At least he is talented enough to point out the human in the photo.

4:45 pm March, 22 Wheezer said...
4:46 pm March, 22 Wheezer said...

I don’t know what will get rid of the italics, but she’s not impressed that he told her “Like, Italics is what they, like, say in Rome.”

5:19 pm March, 22 troy tempest said...

did you know that your face looks like ass?

5:19 pm March, 22 troy tempest said...

did you know that joe mama is a crack ho?

5:20 pm March, 22 troy tempest said...

did you know that all the entries are in italic for no discernible reason?

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muffintops.

5:35 pm March, 22 douche equis said...

Didn’t you guys read In the Penal Colony? Have a heart on a guy. This poor bastard knows the true meaning of Kafkaesque.

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I will admit to some disappointment that the artist stopped the face work beofre finishing; the omission of

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‘s Sake Kill Me Now

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is a pity.

6:15 pm March, 22 douchebag1 said...

Okay fellow ‘bag hunters, sprayed some “Italics Be-Gone” ™ and that should do the trick…

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– management

6:18 pm March, 22 Chad Groover said...

It’s bad enough that he picks his nose in public, but does he have to show it to us?

6:25 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Narcoplexy: a rare and fatal condition characterized by concurrent and opposing forces of apoplexy and narcolepsy.

6:27 pm March, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Did you know that Quaaludes could be taken trans-urethrally?

7:43 pm March, 22 CB Popped said...

Cindy is insane.

Fwippity, fwappitdy.

7:44 pm March, 22 CB Popped said...

But FUCK that MS – 13 gangster.

7:47 pm March, 22 Mr. Biggs said...

Sleepy’s dropping science while I’m dropping English.

8:04 pm March, 22 The Dude said...

I was kinda liking the italicks, which reminds me – is there a Russian Edition of Hot Chicks With Russe Bags? I love those backwards Rs

did you know that after realizing he must have been the inspiration for this punk ass bitch, fred durst dropped out of western society and joined a monastic dashanami even knowing that 50 years of whipping beating and manifest spiritual pain was awaiting him on the getright?

algolagniacs.

4:43 am March, 23 Evilmoose said...

Holy shit what a dumbass…I want to be his friend!!!

6:14 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did you know that the average prison rape involves TWO dudes?

6:14 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did you you know that “tossing” a person’s “salad” has NOTHING to do with lettuce?

6:15 am March, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did you know that a rusty trombone has nothing to do with a musical instrument?

6:45 am March, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Did you know that having a shit ton of tattoos, particularly ones on your face, can limit your job hunting to tattoo shops?

7:15 am March, 23 kneejerk said...

This asshole makes me believe in euthanasia.

7:40 am March, 23 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

And so endeth the Weekly. Thanks for playing everyone.

9:55 pm March, 23 Stephanie said...

This is the kind of guy that would do anything for a nickel.

9:56 pm March, 23 Stephanie said...

Did you know I have a peanut up my ass?

11:50 pm March, 25 Nostradouchus said...

“Did you know I have leprosy?”

9:24 pm March, 26 Mr. Brown said...

Lil Wayne is white?

9:26 pm March, 26 Mr. Brown said...

I seen that broad on Pornhub.com

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