Thursday, March 1, 2012

Sometimes It's All Just a Big Pile Of Flush

I know intellectually that Mindy Perkenboobs deserves a better level of mock than this post is providing. Her Cleavite does not deserve poke by “Ultimate Steel Pound Machine,” the winner of last Fall’s Battle of the Bands at Decatur High School.

But I can’t summon the mock today. Sorry, Mindy. I will, however, masticate uponst your grandmother’s discarded doily that once briefly brushed your thigh area while changing for swim practice.

# posted by douchebag1
4:30 pm March, 1 Wedgie said...

Totally natural.

4:31 pm March, 1 Wedgie said...

At least we know where Grandma’s feather duster disappeared to.

4:31 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

One Schmuk Hill

4:32 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Fart Of Dixie

4:33 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

America’s Next Top Imbecile

4:34 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Big Clang Theory

4:36 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Gays Anatomy

4:37 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

Vampire Diarrhea(s)

4:42 pm March, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Mindy’s globes are truly golden…and worthy of being fondled by something better than a flaccid forearm decorated by a 2 lb. white….what is it…a watch? …probably used for proper fisting calibration rather than telling time.

4:44 pm March, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

How I Met Your Mother’s Asshole Brother

4:48 pm March, 1 Vin Douchal said...

CMT’s Crossbreed

4:49 pm March, 1 Justin said...

Wow…check out Rolling Stone’s reaction to Breitbart:

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http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/andrew-breitbart-death-of-a-douche-20120301

4:53 pm March, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Her juggs are motorboat-worthy. VH1’s behind the douche.

4:59 pm March, 1 Douche Springsteen said...

Does Pepe LePew’s shirt really say Love Will Tear Us Apart? Ian Curtis just hanged himself again.

5:01 pm March, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

American Dildo

5:05 pm March, 1 The Dude said...

Megyn Kelly got a boob job! Finally, a reason to watch Fox News.

5:05 pm March, 1 The Dude said...

Two reasons.

5:32 pm March, 1 Nostradouchus said...

Identity crisis. These guys can’t decide if they’re AFI fans or brahs, bra.

6:06 pm March, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

Joy Division fans everywhere wear a blacker shade of black to express their disgust over left douche’s t-shirt. Is the douche on the right Pepsi loving Brah!’s little bro Lil’Brah? And a whole lotta bra is what right chick needs to contain those boobie suckles. Can a sistah get an HOH up in here? As Brah as my witness someone is getting in there this week and if I have to have sex with the farmdouche one douche back to make that happen so let it be written so let it be done.

7:36 pm March, 1 troy tempest said...

Mindy’s boobs are so big, they draw all the blood in her body, starving her brain for oxygen. She hasn’t had the capacity to do more than giggle for three years.

9:47 pm March, 1 DarkSock said...

As I have expressed numerous times over the years on this site, I am opposed to titty-fucking. I have engaged in it upon several drunken sessions with my buxom partner, but hated myself afterwards. Not even Lord Mountbatten or famous actor Patrick Stewart could maintain an air of dignity whilst engaged in such carnal activity.
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Having said that: I’d speed shank her meat canyon with my yogurt pod racer like a spider monkey golly-fucking a stab-mark on a rotten Christmas ham. And still loathe myself afterwards.
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Simian Porkers.

10:56 pm March, 1 Mr. Biggs said...

Mindy’s gaze betrays the spiritual death of a thousand dying suns. And so upon the eerily perky boobs of that spiritual cadaver, the douchebags feed like so much zombie flesh.

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See DB1, that’s how you bring the mock.

1:55 am March, 2 Wheezer said...

I have never really “always wondered” what happened to Parker Lewis’ buddy Mikey Randall. I still don’t care, but he shouldn’t be defiling Mindy. He and his brah should be stuffed in a locker somewhere.

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Sirs.

6:50 am March, 2 Douche Springsteen said...

@Darksock

The French have a term for titty-fucking called “la branlette espagnole” which translates as “Spanish wanking” based on the fact that Spain has the lowest birthrate in Europe, they believe that the men mostly let it go on their partners’ chests. Just a fun fact.

And as much as I enjoy your comments on this site I simply can not get behind your anti-tit-fucking platform. Especially since you describe it in such eloquent terms as “meat-canyons” and “yogurt pod-racer”, I think you might be having a hard time convincing yourself that you don’t enjoy it. Just my theory, I may be wrong.

9:59 am March, 2 FoghornLeghorn said...

Lord Mountbatten . . . Patrick Stewart . . .I laughed out loud.

11:55 am March, 2 Morbo said...

When I looked at Mindy, my first thought wasn’t about her vacant smile or seeming lack of arms.

It was, “Wow. That there’s a dick groove between those dirty pillows.”

Does that make me a perv?

Probably.

Oh well.

1:17 pm March, 2 Wedgie said...

Gyroscopic Hole Monkeys

11:37 pm March, 4 Little Willie said...

Polly Purebread has some nice fuckable titties and some fucked up gay friends making her look out of place in that picture.

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