Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Timmy's Sparkly Bowtie Has Supernatural Powers

I suppose I could link to the Animal House “thank you God!” clip, but lets try something else.

# posted by douchebag1
12:54 pm March, 21 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Timmy told his mom he is working at TGIFridays, but he is really the bar back at Frankie’s Bump and Grind off Exit 9 in Ronkonkoma.

12:54 pm March, 21 dervishdouchehunter said...

Timmy also pays a “stylist” alot of money to look like he cuts his own hair.

12:56 pm March, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

C’mon Candy Kane at least try to look like you’re happy to be in the picture.

12:57 pm March, 21 tall guy said...

I’d love to sparkly a load all over her almost angelic face.

1:24 pm March, 21 Mr. White said...

@tall guy

If your man juice is sparkly, please see a doctor. Or stop eating glitter.

1:28 pm March, 21 Douche Bagalow said...

ATTENTION BAG HUNTERS!

Your ranks have been infiltrated with a douchebag mole. His name is tall guy.

The evidence with show tall guy likes to talk about all the Bettys that he bags, or does not bag. His game is uber douchey. Even a German tranny, strikes down his advances. No one gives a shit, but Nancy Dreuche tries to help him out.

Tall guy mistakes this help as interest and tries to make himself look better by telling douchey surf stories. Jesus Tapdancing Christ! Really? Douchey surf stories…weak.

Tall guy then fabricates a trip to the U.S. in order to try and seduce Dreuche. He tells Dreuche to contact DB1 for his info. Dreuche again kindly rebuffs him. Once again, total douche move on the part of tall guy.

What is the next move of a douchebag? Of course, he rags on Dreuche and her family. Total douchebag move.

Now he is whining and wants her back. Check-douche-mate!

Oh and lets not forget when he tried to pull a Paulie Wallnuts story that was about as weak as baby aspirin. Dreuche called him on it and he acted as if he had sand in his vagina. Whah! Total douche.

Weigh the evidence. You know tall guy is a douchebag.

Nancy Dreuche was one of the few women on here and also had a wonderful filthy mouth. What is not to like?

Come back Nancy Dreuche! Tall guy keep the German cock and balls in your mouth so we can’t hear you.

There, it needed to be said.

1:31 pm March, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I think Timmy is as queer as a $3 bill and would rather be hanging out at the Manhole off exit 8 in Rumpville.

1:34 pm March, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Nancy Bagalow, great to have you back.

1:39 pm March, 21 Wheezer said...

Oh come on, who among you didn’t yell “BOOBIES!”…..hello?

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NO H8TTERS

1:57 pm March, 21 Douche of Hazard said...

Dreuche lives!! Welcome back.

2:04 pm March, 21 army (ret) douche said...

remember timmy, heat the loonies up with a lighter first. just don’t get caught!

2:04 pm March, 21 Vin Douchal said...

This place is turning into a Jersey Shore episode. Good thing DB1 never got involved with those loser fuckwits……..<br.

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Wha…?

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Nevermind

2:06 pm March, 21 army (ret) douche said...

she paid attention in cam & concealment class. she did a wonderful job with her make up. The flat face is what you strive for

2:08 pm March, 21 Vin Douchal said...

T’was a douche that wore a bowtie

Tells the chicks he’s a really nice guy

He gives boys his phallus

Inviting much malice

From heteros when he unzips his fly

2:22 pm March, 21 The Dude said...

Timmy is sending the Guyan Eye of Boytus. ewww

2:26 pm March, 21 tall guy said...

Nice one, Bagalow, all that from finding midget porn on you daddies computer, eh?

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I’m amused that you’re still obsessed with me (and we all know who you are, don’t we?), but it’s no less creepy. If you find what I wrote about you unpalatable, well, that’s quite sad. But reacting in the way you have because you cannot find a logical flaw in what I said is as understandable as it is pathetic. I perfectly understand why you are writing the things you are. But that doesn’t not mean they make any sense other than on an immature emotive level. While I have some compassion for your circumstances, that is no reason not to write the truth. Sooner or later you will notice that your reasoning is flawed, and you have to leap to every increasing heights of the logically flawed to justify it. In fact you don’t have any reasoning whatsoever. All you are doing is ranting and raving due to your emotions. I am simply presenting logically sound counters to what you are saying which you have yet to be able to say a single thing against that is backed up by even the remotest trace of logic. You see I tend not to argue, because I do not see the point by and large. I have, however, refuted what you have said on several occassions, and you have yet to counter any of them and that makes you incorrect. What I have been saying is simply the truth. I can hardly be blamed if you find it unpalatable. you cannot refute anything I have said and thus move instead to dismissal because you are uncomfortable with what I have written? As I said, I understand why you are doing what you are doing and being a compassionate human being I do not hold it against you in any real way.

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I must admit that I sometimes have a little bit of difficulty understanding the female mentality. How on earth women can say things so clearly self-contradictory is far beyond me. This is probably the thing I find most predictable and boring about women. Well, that they act in accord with it I suppose. Finally, Although I am quite certain that you do realise it, I feel I need to remind you that the arguments you put forward are utterly ridiculous.

2:38 pm March, 21 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

True fact: little, palefaced dudes with over-sized bow ties have huge cocks.

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.What they do with them is another thing entirely.

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.Redenbachers

2:41 pm March, 21 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

And her tits are so motorboat-able, Evinrude has a patent on them.

2:41 pm March, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Err? What made Drueches’ personalities resplit like segments of a N. Korean ICBM?

2:43 pm March, 21 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Her tits are so motorboat-able, I’d like to harpoon them with my Boston Whaler.

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.Melvilles

2:52 pm March, 21 Nancy Dreuche said...

It isn’t me posting as “Bagalow,” but I’m glad to see you’re all still talking about me. This makes this girl quite happy in my panties, natch. It just shows I haven’t been forgotten in such prurient forums, or fora perhaps. In short, this is making me hot.

2:56 pm March, 21 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Her tits are so motorboatable her bras are made by Chris Craft.

3:12 pm March, 21 The Dude said...

I just got the ‘motorboat’ reference. Thank you, Candy Kane!

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Up Shit Creek without a Paddle

3:14 pm March, 21 Douche Bagalow said...

Sorry guys, but I am not Dreuche. I am a dude.

I am glad my post brought Nancy back. I stand by my statement that she is hot.

I know some very funny ladies and have never had one say, “I need to go shave my beaver.” Not even here in Texas. That is piss in your pants funny.

@ Nancy, glad you are back. Now I can get back to work.

@ tall guy. A good psychiatrist or shock therapy may be a good direction. Look into it. Seriously …

3:20 pm March, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His bow tie is really a gaydar device. Notice no spinning while next to her? You should see it spin when “Bobby” comes in to help out behind the bar. Timmy could power the QE II with that thing when Bobby bends over to get some ice.

3:33 pm March, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Say, are you from Cincinatti by any chance?

3:41 pm March, 21 Et Tu Douche? said...

My IBS is acting up from having read this thread.

3:41 pm March, 21 tall guy said...

It’s either this

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqKYPE5oUyw

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Or this

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IInMMQt_MiM

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Either one, Dreuche you can’t have me. I know obsession can be a huge turn on for some lesser types. The thing is, I am superior.

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So Dreuche you crazy little bedroom isolator, does being a Ms Goody Two Shoes with a wannabe potty mouth come from having too much of mummy’s cannoli or too much of daddy’s? Nudge-nudge-wink-wink…

3:53 pm March, 21 Morbo said...

With that vacant stare, I can’t tell if she’s a real doll; a zombie extra from “The Walking Dead”; thinking of unicorns and rainbows to get through her soul-crushing job of giving schmucks like Timmy lap dances to pay for grandma’s dialysis; or just dumb as a sack of hammers.

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What I do know is I’d motorboat those nifty funbags like Crockett zipping through the Bay of Biscayne on the opening credits of “Miami Vice,” then hump ‘em like a horny Cocker Spaniel that don’t know no better.

3:57 pm March, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Could be a pre-op trans sexual with tonnes of pancake makeup to cover what the hormone shots didn’t do away with. Or just a average looking bleeth with revealed boobies. Terrible bra top, by the way. What was there a sale at K-mart honey?

5:40 pm March, 21 Douchble Helix said...

I suppose it’s bad enough being a stripper or whatever. But to have top wear that ridiculous getup, too?

5:43 pm March, 21 Stephanie said...

He’s posing with his flair.Hes having his grown up boy first date with a stripper and his Dad took this photo.

6:43 pm March, 21 Wheezer said...

Timmy just left Chuck E. Cheese to pick up his big sister from her workplace.

7:19 pm March, 21 Chad Groover said...

Timmy jizzed in his pants while posing for this picture. He had to be chipped out of his slacks after his shift ended.

8:05 pm March, 21 Little Willie said...

Timmy takes a time out from sucking dicks in the bathroom to pose with a stripper.

8:57 pm March, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

She’s made that pose so many times it’s lost all meaning.

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She’s cute, but she’s a little dead around the eyes.

8:42 am March, 22 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

She looks okay now but then just imagine her in 10 years with 20 extra pounds, 4 kids by 3 ex-husbands, a job processing mortgage applications, a 1992 Corolla running on 3 cylinders, a 2-pack a day smoking habit, and a borderline case of type 2 diabetes.

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And the worst part is — you’d still do her.

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Timmy here of course wouldn’t because in 10 years he will be wearing sparkly hotpants and twirling a baton in the pride parade.

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Hoping that the state of the comments threads returns to normal.

12:03 pm March, 22 DarkSock said...

I’m hoping I get a sparkly red bow tie.

8:54 pm March, 22 Guid is Good said...

I wish the strippers at our local club were this wholesome.

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