Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A Crime is About to Be Committed

Fortunately for us, it’s only a crime against good taste.

Unfortunately for us, it involves a sampler pack of breakfast cereals, a hand towel, a tube of preparation-H, a forklift, sixteen scratch-n-sniff Strawberry Shortcake stickers from 1983, a small Malayasian orphan named Pepe, and an angry flyswatter.

Believe me, you don’t want to know what an angry flyswatter is.

# posted by douchebag1
2:23 pm April, 17 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I think that Holy White Triangle is giving me the Mayan Eye of Coitus!

2:38 pm April, 17 skrag2112 said...

I dub him TarantulaHead.

2:42 pm April, 17 Stephanie said...

The flyswatter idea may be useful for this guy with the lobster claw hands.

2:44 pm April, 17 ChestBrah said...

@FDD

You missed mottled Holy Black Triangle right next to her.

2:47 pm April, 17 Douchble Helix said...

Paid-To-Do-Something, I figures with 2 out of 3 holy triangles.

3:23 pm April, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Goddam… I just rolled outta bed and feel like hammered shit, fuccen night shift is killin’ me. Nice clip-on there Skippy! Those Latin triangles are givin’ me serious evening wood.

3:26 pm April, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Ying and Yang of chicks. One is an angry cuntrag, the other , really happy to be here.

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Corn Row Billie isn’t gonna see either’s schnizz and Hank Moody wants his sports jacket back

3:44 pm April, 17 Capt. James T. Douche said...

His corn rows look like the pencil thin kind of shit you get from time to time.

rrhea-head

3:51 pm April, 17 Cuntrag said...

Yellow Dress speaks to me. At least, she speaks to my groinal area. Remember in the late Nineties when every nu-metal band was contractually obligated to have one white dude with dreadlocks, particularly the bass player? Well the Nineties are over. White dudes suck at cornrows, too.

4:03 pm April, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ChestBrah 2:44p when did you start noticing vaginas? Sorry your brother is dead.

4:08 pm April, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

Man, Bo Derek has sure fallen on tough times. She’s more like a 2 now that she stopped shaving the facial hair.

4:12 pm April, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The girls pose coquettishly as they thrill in the essence of their favorite MC, Andre 300.

4:31 pm April, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m not sure this pic wasn’t taken in A Thai brothel. MAYBE the one in yellow actually has the correct parts for a regular gent but I’m not so sure ’bout the others. And I don’t think he’s lookin’ for what yellow dress is selling anyways…

5:24 pm April, 17 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Is it just me, or does it seem that all these bleeths got beat with the Tranny Stick lately? Ya mean?

.

Mrs Wallnuts made this chicken dish with Thai Peanut sauce tonight for dinner and as a result, I just committed a crime in my pants. In my pants, I says.

5:59 pm April, 17 Margaret thatcher's clitoris said...

Girl in yellow is giving me the double-jointed elbow of Icanjerkyouofftus.

6:00 pm April, 17 The Dude said...

shit, I’m trapped in Margaret Thatcher’s clitoris.

6:02 pm April, 17 The Dude said...

Clit Largepuss says hi from beneath the pink thingie worn by the leftmost methhed girl.

6:29 pm April, 17 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DoucheWallnuts, your wife and the Rev should swap recipes at the next Oprah Book Club. And I bet Margaret Thatcher had a tough time finding a man that could handle her in the sack.

.

.

.

Powerful Broads

6:31 pm April, 17 Retard said...

I can’t believe none of you ran with the angry flyswatter.

Yellowgirl can give me a rusty trombone while I give her a Hot Karl and her friend does a midget handstand.

6:51 pm April, 17 Little Willie said...

Seymour just got the “2 for the price of 1” tranny special for the evening and is about to get it in both ends at the same time.

7:10 pm April, 17 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

About two weeks of me posting and not getting posted, let’s try from the phone.

7:12 pm April, 17 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

Fuck ya. Back posting. Guess the problem is my laptop ??? DB1, thanks, problem solved. I guess.

7:14 pm April, 17 Magnum Douche P. I. said...

And thank Ja these trannies wore their panties

7:57 pm April, 17 troy tempest said...

I have an angry flyswatter.

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In my PANTS.

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It says RIZZZZZ GO THE WOMBATS!

8:20 pm April, 17 DoucheWeasel said...

Wooooow A double triangle across the HCwDB!

11:00 pm April, 17 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Girl on the far left we can only see part of is wearing black lace panties.

.

BLACK! LACE! PAAAAAAAANTIES!

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We can see her cooch, but not her face.

.

That’s just how I like ’em.

1:56 am April, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Gangster douche will give you the roughest handjob you have ever had if you dont stop staring at his ladies.

2:01 am April, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I know he’s a little touched, but why is Steven Tyler wearing a pink dress.

5:07 am April, 18 CB Popped said...

I’d flyswat all three of them……..

I would also brazenly flyswat Margaret Thatcher, hott.

5:09 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My sober eyes have been turned to a blaze of red after looking at this. We should be seeing the face of mysterious disembodied black lingerie chick. And that dude in a pink dress may just be Shiv Tyler, Steven’s love child with Bianca Jagger. He is one spiteful cocksucker and will blow ya just to piss you off while he whines about “Liv this and Liv that.” Put me in a video with the taught teen beauty of Alicia Silverstone and I would have been fucking Bruce Willis in that space mining movie you old Phyllis Diller with a dye job shrieking fuck.

6:59 am April, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

That’s the same look he gives you when you tell him the Chili’s signature spinach dip is cold.

.

God! Why does life keep kicking him in the nuts?! He’s good looking. He works out. He pours his paychecks into fine clothes and clubbing. Sure, he’s two months behind on his Nissan payments. Sure, he’s using one credit card to pay off the other. Sure, he only made it through half a semester at Santa Clara Community college, but seriously, introductory math is hard! Sure, it burns when he pees and the explosive diarrhea makes him dizzy. And sure, having to move back in with mom and the step douche is no fun, but his roommates could only give him so many passes on the rent.

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Maybe, just maybe, if he puts his hair in corn rows, things will change. YEAH! That’s it! ‘Cuz nothing stops the nut busting better than winning some hot strange while the collections calls pile up in voicemail.

8:27 am April, 18 Nostradouchus said...

The Sun never sets in Coolville. His future’s so bright he has to wear shades.

8:32 am April, 18 creature said...

hooker line up room at Vive la Vida Loca

‘you wanna muchaca o muchacho?’

3:19 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

He walked into the barbershop, and said, “Make my hair look like those islands in Saudi Arabia.”

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ASvB

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