Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Bishop to E7

Bishop takes dignity.

Boobmate.

# posted by douchebag1
12:00 pm April, 24 SonnyChibaChoad said...

huge tracts of land…

nepos

12:06 pm April, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

I wanna say Midwest, country raised naturals but there is something about them that gives me doubt.

12:20 pm April, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

I’d like to sink that dudes battleship after I monopolized his trivial pursuit of bleeth. Queen me!

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Gamers

12:20 pm April, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It’s not your typical Bleeth-ball boob job, but there is still something unnatural about the shape of these mammolyths. I’d like to see more of them… maybe give them a squeeze… and then go home with a chick who has normal size boobs.

12:23 pm April, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Czechered flag for the epic loss.

12:25 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like her chess. Bet she can’t play anything but Hide the Cock.

12:28 pm April, 24 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Midwest born and raised. I think if you get those udders unfastened from the titanium strapped shirt they will be floping all over the place. And that could be a good thing.

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All of Timmy’s teachers determined he was retarded. Fact.

12:36 pm April, 24 tall guy said...

Those jugs commenced their gravity defying downward spiral long ago. So long if fact that they’re merely flaps of skin that may or may not contain tit milk. To close with an Aussie chess reference, they’re stale, mate.

12:37 pm April, 24 tall guy said...

if=in

12:40 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

It’s quite obvious they’re having a discussion about Schumann’s Concerto for Piano and Orchestra in A minor, Op. 54,

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……..especially the fuccen great one with Murray Perahia banging the shit outta the keys with the Berlin Symphony when Claudio was conducting, ’cause that shit’s off the hook

1:06 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of classical music and their version of rock stars, do you think Lang Lang bangs the hot sopranos ( sometimes I listen to classical at work and I Google the singers and a lot of them are hott) ?

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Kate Royal

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Angela Gheorghiu

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Natalie Dessay

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Anna Netrebko

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Elina Garanca

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1:18 pm April, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This pic reminds of Smitty. Last time I (or anyone) ever saw Smitty was in Japan a few years back. These bad-ass Yakuza mother-effers were having trouble with Chinese hackers getting into their electronic books and shit. Smitty kept calling them Jacuzza, confusing them with Jacuzzis, which didn’t really ingratiate him very much.

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Anyway, I’m no thin-wristed hacker, but I sure as hell could pin a name on some dipshit who thought he was doing stuff all anonymous like. Put a name to the problem, and the Jacuzza, as Smitty would say, would get all ninja on this problem and probably cut up his family and friends just to make the point clear.

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Smitty and I had last seen each other in Vietnam. I liked it. The chicks all look like Asian elves with their narrow chins and high cheeks. Real loli-anime shit. Smitty hated it. He complained that any chick less than a c-cup was flat. What he really wanted to do was to go to the Philippines, but Japan was good enough for Smitty. I don’t know why, but every once in a while (not so rare, really) you find these tiny little Japanese hotties with big tits. And that’s all Smitty wanted.

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Anyway, we got the job done and the Jacuzzas went off to Nanjing to disembowel some college kids, and Smitty and I had a few more days in Japan. The first night Smitty picks up this chick named Kaoru. A real sweetheart. Maybe 5 feet tall at most and a buck-ten, or 80 pounds minus the boobs, if you get my meaning. Smitty is all f-ed up drunk and shit, and so I tell him to leave the girl and go sleep it off. But Smitty wouldn’t listen, and you have to understand what with this little hottie hanging all over him, he just couldn’t help himself.

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The next morning I get a call early in the morning. It’s Smitty. Only it isn’t. It’s Kaoru on Smitty’s phone, and she’s hysterical crying cuz something has happened to Smitty. Great, I think, he finally pissed off the Yakuza bad enough for them to do something about it. I rush over to his room to see what’s up. Kaoru is still there. She tried to put on a robe but is still hanging out all over the place. Smitty is naked in bed, quite dead, but with this stupid smile on his face. I mean a big shit eating grin. Kaoru tries to tell me maybe he had a heart attack, but it doesn’t take me long to figure out she is hiding something. Smitty couldn’t get it up, just as I expected, so he passed out with his face between this hottie’s boobs. She was nearly as drunk as Smitty, so she passed out soon after. Now both these dipshits are too messed up to move, Smitty’s face the meat in an oversized boob sandwich. Smitty is so f-ed up, in fact, he doesn’t come to even when he’s not getting air anymore. Boobs is what killed Smitty. Last time I ever saw the guy.

1:31 pm April, 24 Charles Douchewin said...

@ Dude McCrudeshoes – boobs have lead to the death of many men. In Smitty’s case, it appears to have been mercifully quick. No daddy issues, divorce proceedings, or nuthin’.

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As for the pic, this is prime Guggenheim material. It is almost symphonic the way the white/black contrasts of their upper and lower bodies slowly swell into a ying & yang of male/female boob-guttery.

1:31 pm April, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I dunno once you untether her jugg holster I don’t think you’ll be complaining too much when she’s flat on her back playing the wheel barrow and they’re bouncing all over the place whilst she’s screaming “Fuck me you douchey bastard!!”

1:56 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

Vin = the fuccen keeper of the records of hott. Sonofabitch, man…..that makes my recall “talents” completely pointless by comparison.

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Or just pointless, period.

2:20 pm April, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I can understand her wanting to use the Old Indian defense (kind of staid but reliable) because she doesn’t feel comfortable with the fianchettoing for the King’s Indian (given a d4 c4 opening by white) but she really needs to go with the Janowski and NOT the Samisch variation if she hopes to gain an advantage after Nc3. Hold on, what was the question? Fucck, I did it again. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Yes, I was a nerdy chess geek when young. Who woulda guessed, right? True story: the first time I saw the movie “Searching for Bobby Fischer” and it gets to the scene where the two kids are playing the final game for “all the marbles” at the end and everyone is watching on the monitors outside the room and the tension is built by Ben Kingsley saying “Don’t move until you see it.”, I look at the position of the pieces on the board and yell “It’s mate in 12 ya fucckstick, just give up!” Everyone near me recoils in horror that (1) I said anything followed quickly by (2) Ben Kingsley saying “It’s mate in 12 and he doesn’t see it.” (referring to the losing kid) which lead to (3) “How did you know that?” and “Are you fuccen serious?”from everyone. I’m a geek, and I accept it.

2:38 pm April, 24 Douche Springsteen said...

She is all kinds of girl-next-door goodness. His head reminds me of the kids in high school that were really into ska. I fucking hate ska. At least the kind of ska that those kids listened to.

2:42 pm April, 24 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When Kelly hailed a can this guy showed up.

3:22 pm April, 24 CB Popped said...

Worst hair,,,best naturals?

3:23 pm April, 24 CB Popped said...

Oh and thanks for that selection of Fwappable hotts Vin.

3:27 pm April, 24 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Ay caramba! Ay dios mio! Ay chihuahua!

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Them’s be some major league cans on that there hottie.

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What’s a nice, milk-fed lass like that doing with such a douche?

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Sorry, I forgot for a moment what the raison d’etre of this website was.

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.And by “raison d’etre” I mean I’d like to find a reason to enter one of her many orifices. Because it would give my life meaning for the 8-10 seconds I was there.

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.Hootervilles

3:37 pm April, 24 Douche Bagalow said...

I would love to maneuver my spam javelin between her pretend Maura Tierny meat puppets. Mmmmm….

3:58 pm April, 24 troy tempest said...

when she’s 60, those boobs will be sagging below her navel. She will name them after cartoon characters.

4:51 pm April, 24 The Dude said...

“Fuck Me You Douchey Bastard!” is my new theem song. Incomplete with exclamations. !

6:29 pm April, 24 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

@Vin, you forgot Patricia Petibon, one of the most talented and best looking sopranos working today (esp. in Baroque repertoire). I’d leave her baroque, definitely.

7:15 pm April, 24 Stephanie said...

Checkmate. Someone needs more boob support.

8:07 pm April, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

I peed in an Asian elf once.

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The sign in the background looks like it says Pear.

9:03 pm April, 24 Mr. Biggs said...

For a second there I thought they censored his hair

9:30 pm April, 24 bilbodouchebaggins said...

chess?? that guy? on a cold day in hell.

a crack team of the world’s best special ed teachers couldn’t explain checkers to that douche. (on their and his best day).

9:40 pm April, 24 fatness said...

Who died? Those girls are at half-mast.

9:56 pm April, 24 Ty Webb said...

Those are real. I know her. She’s down….always. Jordan Meachum….Facebook her.

10:00 pm April, 24 The Dude said...

Am I dead yet?

2:24 am April, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^yes, welcome to the other side. This is Crossing Over with Dude McCrude. Can you see Dick Clark from where you are?

3:18 am April, 25 Nostradouchus said...

She can choke my bishop. Or my bishop can choke her….. whichever.

3:34 am April, 25 CB Popped said...

Asian Elves – great band name.

My bandmates and I were laughing over “MetroGnome” –

Wherehas there would be an invisible Gnome that lives in NYC, all metrosexed out, etc.

5:37 am April, 26 douche equis said...

Vin — shhhhhh! The sex-soakedness of opera is something we buffs would rather keep to ourselves. Don’t want the riff-raff coming in and spoiling everything, you know . . . and you left out Renee Fleming. Since every previous attempt of mine to embed a pic in a post has failed, I will leave it to you to follow up, or Google to help out those interested.

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