Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Breaking: Accountant and Mensa Candiate Teagan Presley Dates a Douchebag

A reader submits this pic of someone named “Teagan Presley” partying with Standard Issue Douchewank #42.

Teagan Presley is, by the looks of it, a professional tax consultant, business professional, Mensa Candidate, and working accountant.

In the world of tax consultants, business professionals, Mensa Candidates, and working accountants, it is rather shocking to find out they’re cohabiting with douchebag.

And by accountants, business professionals, Mensa Candidates, and working accountants, I mean professional ho-ha performer.

This whole pic smells like stripper glitter and daddy issues. Lets move on.

# posted by douchebag1
11:11 am April, 18 Flounder said...

She gives a whole new meaning to 1040 EZ.

11:22 am April, 18 E-blo's Last Thought said...

Teagan Presley’s wikipedia page is glorious.

11:23 am April, 18 E-blo's Last Thought said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tegan_Presley_2009.jpg

11:27 am April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

e-Blo, if you’re turned on by a wiki page better not check her out at fapdu.com

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This douche looks like the love child of Fish Slap and Phil Collins

11:30 am April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Times must be tough for Moby if he’s trying to get into the porn biz.

11:30 am April, 18 jonezy said...

Looks like a Cyborg.

.

And I’m not even sure which one I’m referring to

11:33 am April, 18 E-blo's Last Thought said...

@vin – I’m a tube8com guy.

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BTW – loved the bottlerockets ref recently. They kick ass.

11:33 am April, 18 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Pinky and I can be pee pals.

11:35 am April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I’m certain all of her farts are silent ones.

11:38 am April, 18 fatness said...

26 going on 45.

.

Next.

11:40 am April, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Never has such female dysfunction given me such a raging boner.

11:42 am April, 18 Dan said...

Teagan was a sweet girl but her second triple anal scene really changed her.

11:43 am April, 18 DoucheyWallnuts said...

From Ms Presley’s Wiki page.

.

“Presley was living with a boyfriend who didn’t make any money to help support them. She started stripping for extra money. This angered her boyfriend so she then sought out an agent on-line to do pornography.[5] Her first role was in Just Over Eighteen 10 from Red Light District Video.[3]

She performed in 70 pornographic film scenes over the next eight months, many of which included anal scenes.[6]

In late-2004, she signed an exclusive, three-year contract with porn production studio Digital Playground. Presley claims she first became involved in pornography as revenge against her ex-boyfriend.[5]”

.

“Revenge is a dish best served by doing anal hundreds of times in an 8 month period and having it filmed.” – D. Wallnuts

11:52 am April, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Before the fake boobs, young Teagan was the hottest woman on the planet. Now she is your average cocc jockey. But back in the day? Oy vey.

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http://static.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/484010-bigthumbnail.jpg

12:00 pm April, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Before I even googled it, I knew.

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redtube.com came up as #9.

12:03 pm April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Standard issue douchewank #42 is the red dye #40 of society.

12:07 pm April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Pay attention ladies she’s living proof that copious amounts of anal sex will make all your dreams come true.

12:25 pm April, 18 troy tempest said...

what is wrong with her BACK?

12:37 pm April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

Wait wha? How can we live in a world where things like this happen? She must be saved!

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@James T. 12:07p, I suspected that might be the secret to maximum success. I hope she writes a How To book.

12:41 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

You gotta love girls with daddy issues

1:12 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She ain’t got nothing on the everblooming Dakota Fanning or that hot chick that played Hermione, when she was 14 (14’s legal in Canada). Son. Cause that’s the way I roll now that I’m back on all the drugs I rehabed from last year. Fuck it. Fuck it I says. I will not live in pain anymore. No pain and little chicks Oh ya.

1:34 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ex boyfriend spiteful anal revenge seems de rigueur for budding porn stars and I have no problem with that.

1:40 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

I’ve watched in amazement at how the Pens have succumbed to Philthy’s tactics now if they can turn the cheek, play some stay at home D they might win tonight and who knows what can happen. Dale Hunter was a mess and still is. Joel Quenville looked like he wanted strangle someone last night after that hit. Kudo’s to him for keeping his cool.

1:48 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

She has financially consolidated her future via her butt hole.

2:22 pm April, 18 Wheezer said...

Dickk Clarkk died so these two and Ryan Seacrest could live? No justice.

2:38 pm April, 18 The Dude said...

Her boobs are so perky they brewed my morning coffee.

2:39 pm April, 18 The Dude said...

Her boobs are so perky they woke me up from my mid-day stupor, and by stupor I mean once I was done with the A.M. rubout I passed out.

.

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Not away, out.

3:39 pm April, 18 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

@Rev Chad: are the sweet, sweet narcotics for back pain? I have an L5S1 disc problem and I’ve loved me three fine ladies for many years: vicodin, percocet, and sweet Lady D, dilaudid. It does rob you of your ambition, however, unless your ambition is to get baked and watch cartoons all day.

6:31 pm April, 18 Nostradouchus said...

5-to-1 says he’s never shot a gun before.

6:03 am April, 19 Anonymous said...

Definition of a stupid chick;

Teagan Presley From Wikipedia

Born Ashley Erickson

(1985-07-24) July 24, 1985 (age 26)

The Woodlands, Texas, U.S.A.

Ethnicity White American

Height 5 ft 0 in (1.52 m)

Weight 101 lb (46 kg; 7.2 st)

Spouse Tyler Durden (2007-2008)

No. of adult films 122

Teagan Presley (born Ashley Erickson) on July 24,1985) is an American pornographic actress. Her stage name in part comes from her parents initially wanting to call her “Teagan and in part as an homage to Lisa Marie Presley.

Presley was living with a boyfriend who didn’t make any money to help support them. She started stripping for extra money. This angered her boyfriend so she then sought out an agent on-line to do pornography. Her first role was in Just Over Eighteen 10 from Red Light District Video.

She performed in 70 pornographic film scenes over the next eight months, many of which included anal scenes.

In late-2004, she signed an exclusive, three-year contract with porn production studio Digital Playground. Presley claims she first became involved in pornography as revenge against her ex-boyfriend.

Teagan has also appeared on mainstream television. In 2004, she appeared on The Howard Stern Show with fellow starlet Cytherea. Both served on a panel to judge girls who wanted to enter the pornography industry. In 2005 she appeared on the HBO show Entourage as a member of the “Pussy Patrol” in Season 2, Episode 9, “I Love You Too”.

Presley in 2004.Teagan Presley left Digital Playground to start her own web site and production company with her husband, adult performer Tyler Durden (AKA Tyler Wood).She complained that Digital Playground was not allowing her to perform for her new company.However, Digital Playground refuted the complaint and said that Teagan was free to work as lawyers were resolving her contract status. While there were reports that her surname “Presley” was owned by the studio Digital Playground, a representative of the studio has denied those reports as false. In October 2008, she was invited by Digital Playground to host the red carpet at the premiere of Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge, a film produced by the firm.

She is also seen on the cover of Temptress magazine in the unrated version of the movie Superbad. Teagan was also interviewed by Bush League TV for their short internet video “Bush League 101: How to Break Into the Porn Business.”

In July 2008, she announced that she had her breast implants replaced and that she would be auctioning them on eBay, with 20% of the proceeds going to Susan G. Komen for the Cure;she also announced that she would stop performing boy/girl sex scenes.The remainder of the proceeds were to be used to fund her divorce and custody cases.

In September 2008, in partnership with Rock Star Diversified Entertainment and St. Louis, Missouri-based WAZUPSTL Web Promotions & Design, Presley helped create the first Blu-ray-centric adult review site AdultBluReview.com, where Teagan herself and other adult starlets review adult Blu-ray titles. Official AVN Press Release In October 2008, Presley was named Best Feature Dancer by Nightmoves magazine.In November 2008, she was named the Penthouse Pet of the Month for January 2009.

Presley and her boyfriend Josh Lehman launched their own studio called SkinWorxxx in early 2009, with their first production called The Search for Sun Goddess XXX.[16][17] In November 2009, Presley signed with Adam and Eve Pictures as an exclusive performer, with her first film to be Bree & Teagan, appearing with Bree Olson.

In 2010, she was named by Maxim as one of the 12 top female stars in porn.

Personal lifeBy November 2007 she had married Tyler Durden,[20] but she had filed for divorce as of July 2008.[10] In September 2008, she was first reported to be dating Josh Lehman;[11] she had married him by April 2010.[1]

7:39 am April, 19 Jim Beam said...

WAIT

Is that douche wearing one of those fake tattoo sleeves?It’s weird to me that the tats just end abruptly at his wrist. I think it’s 50/50 that this guy is wearing one of those fake things . . . which ironically makes him more douchy

4:57 pm April, 21 Elwood BluezBag said...

When did Phil Collins go gangsta?

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