Sunday, April 1, 2012

Clownbaggery

No really.

Literal clownbaggery.

Too freaky for a Sunday morning? Then enjoy some Latina Spicey Champagne Katie Car Commercial.

# posted by douchebag1
7:37 am April, 1 ehcuodouche said...

Well, that certainly woke me up this morning. I think I will take you up on that katie car commercial, plus three or four shots of whiskey in my morning coffee. What is seen cannot be unseen.

7:45 am April, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Good for CK!!! I give her a nottableeth for making it happen!!

8:15 am April, 1 Benjamin Doucheraeli said...

Champagne Katie says we’re pre-approved! Makes me want to burst into song. No necesito crreditoooo…

8:30 am April, 1 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Thanks. I was just about out of nightmare fuel.

8:34 am April, 1 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Wow! Look at the size of her skull!!

8:46 am April, 1 Pancake Cock Lover said...

Way to go CK! Next stop, Vaginal Mesh lawsuit commercials!

8:51 am April, 1 Wheezer said...

I actually survived 20 seconds of the assclown but had to stop it. UGH.

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But Champagne Katie was worth watching.

8:58 am April, 1 Wheezer said...

Wait…..isn’t that Champagne Katie’s sister? I thought “Janira” was Katie, and this is “Jamillette” according to the YouTube page.

9:07 am April, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Uh-oh. Wheezer is on it. And he’s good.

9:39 am April, 1 Pancake Cock Lover said...

Oh, that was CKs sister? She’s waaay hotter than CK. She even looks a tad smarter and she didn’t even el oh el once. We should feature her here over CK. I’m sure she hangs with bags as well.

9:58 am April, 1 Pancake Cock Lover said...

Hey, I know! Champagne Katie’s sister for HOH! C’Mon, it would be a hoot!

10:02 am April, 1 schlicht bindenburger said...

bobo needs a swift kick in the nadsack… i’ll oblige!

10:19 am April, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’ve been mind-raped.

10:31 am April, 1 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Dancing with the stars has really gone downhill since Joseph Bruce and Joseph Ustler took over. However Juggalos around the world rejoiced!

And by rejoiced I mean, bent over and had their annual taint washing festival moved to Vegas, cause they’re all “pre-approved” now and can afford a proper douchecanoe. Si, gracias Senorita Juggs.

10:32 am April, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Coulrophobics beware!

10:34 am April, 1 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Nice Cars of Nevada has nice tits.

11:09 am April, 1 Mr. White said...

This is what the clowns in my neighborhood look like.

12:54 pm April, 1 skrag2112 said...

Is this the latest interrogation method used by the CIA? Shit, I’d talk!

1:12 pm April, 1 Anonymous said...

Wheezer, I’m pretty sure that’s CK. Her sister does the Shops at the Pallazzo a litte farther down on the page.

I’m pretty sure I could pick CK out of a lineup at 100 yards made up like Mr. White’s clowns–I’d know her anywhere.

1:18 pm April, 1 DouchYouWannaDance said...

My first reaction to the “Katie” video was that “her head looks too squat. I don’t think that’s here.”

Then I read in the comments that it appears to be her sister.

And here I was thinking “fame” on HCwDB might have led Katie to a job. 🙂

1:19 pm April, 1 DouchYouWannaDance said...

(“her”, not “here”)

1:33 pm April, 1 Et Tu Douche? said...

I always thought the Insane Clown Posse was underrated it’s good to see they’re still around.

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Juggalos

1:37 pm April, 1 Douche Bagalow said...

Wow, that is a big noggin. She is head to head with the Juggalo. Wait, maybe CK is behind that small moon. That’s no moon!

1:43 pm April, 1 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Why so serious?

2:53 pm April, 1 Benjamin Doucheraeli said...

I got inside dope. That is Katie. Possibly with hair extensions. Cause that’s how Nice Cars of Nevada rolls.

3:16 pm April, 1 Pancake Cock Lover said...

@Benjamin, well if it is, good for her. I’m pretty sure Katherine Zeta Jones got her start the same way. It was either Katherine Zeta or Charro, either way look out world! That latina pickle slit is headed straight to the top of el mundo! I’m just honored to have been able to repeatedly question her intelligence via my commentary.

3:42 pm April, 1 Douche Bagalow said...

@ PCL. I thought she got het start gargling Gordon Geckos’s jizz. Hmm.

3:45 pm April, 1 Douche Bagalow said...

@ PCL. Didn’t Charro suck so bad her stanky taco turned Merv Griffin gay?

3:48 pm April, 1 Douche Bagalow said...

Or did she wear a tool belt on the Merv Griffin show and the smell turned him on? My bad, not sure.

3:50 pm April, 1 Pancake Cock Lover said...

@Douche Bagalow, too be fair he did put it in a bottle and slap a Scope label on it. But yeah, chugging Douglas dong probably helped a little too.

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Fatal Subtraction

3:57 pm April, 1 Pancake Cock Lover said...

I meant to sign off with Fatal Repulsion, but you know I was laughing too hard at my own Scope joke. And I’m pretty unfamiliar with the origins of Charros first utterance of Coochie Coo, but maybe Douchey Wallnuts banged her and the Chiquita Banana lady at the same time and he can enlighten us.

5:05 pm April, 1 Sofa King said...

That was Sofa King horrible.

5:51 pm April, 1 creature said...

on the next episode of Jerz Shore, Vinnie turns Snooki’s uterus inside out & it dances about

6:31 pm April, 1 Douche Bagalow said...

@ Sofa King. That was Sofa King funny. It’s the little things that count.

6:32 pm April, 1 Douche Bagalow said...

What on Earth is a pancake cock?

6:50 pm April, 1 army (ret) douche said...

23 seconds a new personal best. damn it guys i have to watch it all now with the prospect of champagne katie

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masochist

6:52 pm April, 1 army (ret) douche said...

apparently i did not notice that was a link

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DUMBASS

7:02 pm April, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That is two different chicks. Likely sistas. And I would gladly shame myself with a public display of full frontal diarrhea on the hood of a 1990 Le Baron convertible selling for $1,995.00 with six easy payments of $499.00 and free undercoating for the chance to lick the menstruation from both of their thighs. And they likely have Nature’s beautiful gift at around the same time of the month as their mother because as all of you fellow anthropologists know, the beta-females take the cue from the pheremonal bouquet of the alpha of the group in order to be in estrus and compete for potential mates concurrently. I know this from field work done back when the Le Baron was in production. Mrs. Kroeger lived with a big chick named Faye who fucked like an animal I heard, a smaller chick named Tania (Tania was a Roma gypsy, very spicy), a fey German visa student named Pietr of some bullshit like that, a lizard, and a binobo monkey. Well they all got together one August and it appeared that Faye may be the dominant one. By March, all three humans were in estrus at the same time after having themselved adjusted to Mrs. Kroeger’s cycle. Funny thing was that the German started acting weird as well. He was holed up in his room for days until he showed up one morning smiling with blood all over his face, a snake up his ass, and a dead binobo in his pants. True story.

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Fuck that Toby Keith is one big douche. Fucking country music awards have gotten awful. What I wouldn’t do to see John Michael Montgomery singing that auction song with the little blonde spinner dancing around with the Amish dudes. And the Canadian music awards were just as bad being opened up by Nickleback, fuck me. And Shatner as the host isn’t much better. Wouldn’t know any of this if I didn’t run out of fuel cells for my finish guns. Fucking bar is taking too long to build. Should have used paint grade pine instead of fucking Norwegian Mahogany. I hate the fucking Beatles. The only cool one in the bunch was that stupid drummer fucker that got kicked out by that Jew they hired as their manager. I’d like to play a drum solo on the tight tiny orbs of Chamagne Katie and her sister and her mother and her aunt Rita that’s always screaming unintelligible Mexican curse words while she’s hanging out the family’s clothes thinking of her broken dreams with another dark kid hanging from her tit with father in jail and how she’s suffered for her sisters family that they might see a brief glimpse of the American dream and whisper her a unmeant thank you on her deathbed. Curlers in your hair with a kid hanging off your tit while you hang your sister’s pretty girls’ shiny clothes out on the tattered line barely touching the flimsy chinese extension cord that you’re stealing the neighbour’s power with since your’s was turned off for non-payment the last time one of your kid’s father told you the support payment could clear but Money Mart charged you a 50 dollar NSF fee. And the only way to get a better life is if Senor Romney gets in to get rid of the commie African mooslim that’s making you pay for health care if you get a job. But fuck, you are not going to vote anyway because the polls say someone else will. Well if you want to get out of the fucking stinking diaper filled apartment Rita you better go fucking vote because Champagne Katie and Champagne Kitty are going to whore around on enough Latina car shows with the bouncing cars and shit until they get out of the apartment complex and move in with a thousandaire with with a demo BMW 1-series from down the street and nobody will need you and your screaming gangster son to do the laundry anymore. So quit crying in your fucking boozed up coffee, do your fucking hair, turn off the Adele song that you keep weeping over, put a tampon in and go get a fucking job like the rest of us.

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7:46 pm April, 1 Anonymous said...

I was able to get through this one. The entire video I was asking myself what kind of people have those fucking lights in their living room? That doesn’t even look like the basment. I think I see a chair his grandmother gave his mom back in ’65 when she got her first apt.

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The next viewing I was able to pinpoint exactly when during each move he makes I could maximze the impact of the baseball bat.

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Yes, I watched it more than once. It was just like an abridged horror film–an encapsulation of everything wrong with and frightening about youth AND music today.

7:47 pm April, 1 DarkSock said...

I peed in a fractured dream once.

8:31 pm April, 1 The Dude said...

I peed in a flower bed, more than once.

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Bedwetters

10:00 pm April, 1 Snooki's Uterus said...

I could have danced all night…

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creatures

10:38 pm April, 1 Nice Cars of Nevada said...

I want to stage a coup de twat from the hills of CK.

3:04 am April, 2 CB Popped said...

I wonder what CK’s rectal polyp thinks about all of this…

5:12 am April, 2 Douchble Helix said...

Love how army (ret) douche punked himself on April 1st.

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Kutchers.

5:20 am April, 2 John Largemans Cheeseburger said...

I have no idea what The Reverend Chad Kroeger was talking about but I like it, I like it a lot.

5:26 am April, 2 Olddog1 said...

I am not at all sure what she is selling, but I am buying. No habla espanol here at mi casa.

11:32 am April, 2 youknowit! said...

You guys are fucking stupid! That is janira”champange katie” dumb fucks! Dang she does have big tits! I’m on her fb page atleast 30 times a day… I saw her post her commercial I was the first one to see it. Fawck yaaaaaa

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