Saturday, April 14, 2012

Comment of the Week: JeanClaudeVanDouche

From the Hitler Chin thread comes this classic paean to the suckle thigh from JeanClaudeVanDouche, who wins the coveted Comment of the Week:

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I would dance the Macarena in a barbwire thong to “Mr. Babalu” in a ballroom full of Los Zetas while whistling “Dixie” for the scant opportunity to catch a passing whiff emanating from the jeans once worn by pretty next door hotts former gardener Manuel, who held the door open for her on a particularly sunny day in California and she lightly accidentally brushed up against his thigh with her purse. Which incidentally smells of alligator and cherry blossoms.

————

# posted by douchebag1
12:38 pm April, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Bam.

.

Bam, I say. Bam.

12:56 pm April, 14 troy tempest said...

She looks like somebody’s older sister. The way her hands are positioned and the way she’s smiliing and trying ton to be too close to doucheslap here, I get the impression that this is one of those cases where her BFF, Calista, took her to “a totally jammin party” and upon entrance she immediately recoiled in disgust, but is too polite to say “get me the FUCK OUTA HERE!!!” But she’s attractive so douchewank wants a picture with her so he can say to his boyz “Yo, check this shit out – I met her at a partay and banged the snot out of her uptight ass!” when actually what happened was he said “Yo baby, lemme get my picture with you before ya go!” And within 30 seconds of this snap she was walking down the sidewalk with Calista barking at her about what a bunch of assholes were at that party and NEVER do that to her again, please.

1:06 pm April, 14 DontFearTheReaper said...

Isn’t that Nelly Furtado? If it isn’t, Damn, she looks just like her.

1:07 pm April, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Damn I says. Damn. That is one of Canada’s dirtiest Portuguese MILF’s with one of her thugs.

.

1:15 pm April, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And I don’t really understand what JeanClaude is talking about but that’s the way we roll and I like it.. Son.

1:51 pm April, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

Nelly Furtado sure pulls the outdated hipster douches. That tablecloth scarf thing was so 2010. Mexican Wigga please.

2:06 pm April, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

And I totally understood the Comment of the Week. He didn’t trail off. All of of his sentences were complete and shit. And I’m sure if he attached a link it would work.

2:36 pm April, 14 Wheezer said...

Nelly Furtado is normally thankful for nearby security, but she rues the fact that the team couldn’t keep this sewer resin out of the backstage area.

.

Meanwhile, not-her-brother Tony Furtado just continues to be a cool cat. I had the pleasure to hear him open for Eric Johnson during an all-acoustic set about 8 years ago. Not only did both guys put on great shows, but Tony ran his own merchandise stand in between while crafting bottleneck slides from scratch. His stuff isn’t my usual go-to music, but I was encouraged by another online poster to not skip the opening act (which I never do anyway), and I was pleasantly surprised and astounded.

3:42 pm April, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think the douche in the green hat in back is patiently waiting with his sparkly Sharpie for her to sign his bra. That is a bra he’s wearing isn’t it?

3:49 pm April, 14 Doucheywallnuts said...

Nancy for early favorite for next week’s comment of the week.

.

Although the pictured bleeth is actually Nilly Fritata and she smells like eggs and scrod, with a hint of failure, food stamps and loneliness.

.

Wait, what?

4:02 pm April, 14 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Doucheywallnuts, dude I never get Comment of the Week. Scratch that, back in 2011 I think one of my Ode to Peen Pics was featured. It twas a proud day indeed. Plus if you keep hitting them out of the park with that Rat Pack stuff it will be many a Saturday before I’m recognized.

4:30 pm April, 14 The Dude said...

yeah, Wallnuts has COTW cornered with Rat Pack v. Scat Pack.

5:37 pm April, 14 Doucheywallnuts said...

Ok, why when you click on Rev Chad’s name in one of the Haiku posts are we taken to this?

http://www.easyniagaramortgage.com/

.

Really?

6:05 pm April, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Ya man. That’s my loan shark site to place the wife’s cash in crisis loans. I haven’t seen that one in a while. Don’t know how it links. One time I had Scrotato Head test to see if my landing page was working at

http://www.easyontariomortgage.com/lendingpage.aspx but that sites fucked. Try it. Fucking Paki web designers.

8:37 pm April, 14 troy tempest said...

nelly fartknocker more like. God that was awful.

9:13 pm April, 14 Nostradouchus said...

Is it just me or is that prosthetic fung that’s on his face?

9:34 pm April, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

I used to bang a smoking hot, divorced, trophy wife MILF who loved Nelly Furtado’s “I’m Like a Bird”. Good times and by good times I mean she let me do anything plus I got to drive her new Benz convertible that her ex was paying for. My first foray into Milfing and it was the shit!!!, son.

4:41 am April, 15 McCrude said...

Che Gayvara on the right.

5:01 am April, 15 Doucheywallnuts said...

Another sign that the end is near…

.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/12/fashion/men-turn-to-bikini-waxing.html?pagewanted=1&ref=style&src=me

5:48 am April, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

Playoff hockey has been great so far, brawls, old school retribution*, double overtimes, etc; In case anyone cares The Rev & I are knotted 1-1 in our bet for $20 CDN or $18.35 here in the states. I’m no fan of the Rangers but seeing as I have money on the series I say they win in 6.

*http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/todd-bertuzzi-makes-shea-weber-answer-game-1-005301485.html

6:00 am April, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@DW

Regarding Man waxing link, that guy looks like nay seems very much an H-Mo.

7:25 am April, 15 Sir Douche said...

Oh my goodness!

8:47 pm April, 15 Little Willie said...

The chick isn’t too bad. Kind of classy looking in a way. The jerkoff with the sunglasses is well, just a jerkoff.

12:21 am April, 18 VLAD said...

You, retards!!! This IS Nelly Furtado and Timati!!!

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