Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Doucheborg Will Assimilate You

They’re coming for you.

They get you when you sleep.

They’ll play dubstep in your ear and force you to drink Kristal shooters.

# posted by douchebag1
6:42 am April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Nice side boob reveal

6:46 am April, 18 troy tempest said...

I am dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.

6:56 am April, 18 Steve said...

She’s an obvious “paid-to-pose” hot, but I get the impression that this guy works there as well.

7:00 am April, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

They caught her just after I launched a roper from 6 feet away. Good thing to know that I still got it!

7:08 am April, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Klaus swept his searchlight slowly across the prison yard. The rabble were becoming aggitated. That would not do. Not on his watch. He reached purposefully for the radio. Perhaps a few minutes with the dogs would remind them of their manners. Yes, a few minutes with the dogs.

7:12 am April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

In between an MJ tribute and an ABBA/NIN mashup these two employees at Club Trend-E found time for a photo op. Be sure to tip their G-strings.

7:15 am April, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Apparently the Doucheborg have yet to assimilate Gold’s Gym.

7:17 am April, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Clearly the Doucheborg has assimilated Taco Bell’s Fourth Meal.

7:18 am April, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Is it just, me or does he give you the impression he’s wearing a cloth diaper?

7:21 am April, 18 tall guy said...

Bag’d be an inspiration for Dreuche to rub one out. Signifiers include clean-cut looks, mom’s apple pie haircut & serious love handles she identifies her own fat arse self with.

Lollizz

7:27 am April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Is this really tall guy? I’m not buying it, other than his unhealthy obsession with my unhealthy obsessions. Anyway say something Australian and convoluted so we know its you. Also those Sheilas still not giving you the time a day?

7:42 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She doesn’t always give handjobs to young men in public, but when she does she wears hand condoms.

7:44 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dubstep has to be the craziest thing I’ve heard since “bottle service” and “Ice Road Truckers.”

7:52 am April, 18 Mr. White said...

The figure painted on hott’s face is a classic trope from Navajo art, and its name translates roughly to “She Who Takes the Stream on Her Face.”

8:00 am April, 18 tall guy said...

Dreuche, I suggest a diet of ice-cubes’n’cock to lose the baby fat.

8:04 am April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

I’m okay with all of that if she forces my blood hardened turnip root betwixt her mams until I fill both of her massive nostrils with my doppia panna. That’s Italian for double cream, double cream I says

8:08 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cajun Brothel

8:15 am April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I suggest actually boning women to lose your virginity.

8:16 am April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

WordPress is fucking with my mind.

8:29 am April, 18 Nostradouchus said...

Protein shakes don’t work without the weights, brah.

8:29 am April, 18 Margaret Tatcher's eongorged clitoris said...

I gotta love handle for sideboob girl, and a smackerel for d-borg.

8:30 am April, 18 The Dude said...

Shit, I’m still stuck in Thatcher’s snatch!

8:30 am April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall you, also how do you know that diet works? Is that how you lost your baby fat?

8:36 am April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Jenny Dell, still killing it over at NESN:

.

8:42 am April, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

Hair gel doesn’t hide the fact that Bro has the torso of a prepubescent girl.

8:45 am April, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

Red Head Butterface < Tebow

8:45 am April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Vin, when you’re competing for attention with baseball you gotta look your best.

8:59 am April, 18 Stephanie said...

Jizzhead Vanna White.

9:24 am April, 18 UFO Destroyers said...

Looks like Boss found the 4th Jonas Brother.

.

.

I’m not sure if she is PtP since she’s still got her original bewbies, nose, and hair color. Although, the ecstacy “candy” bracelets give me pause. He, on the other hand, does work there–normally as the barback–but some of the regular guys called in sick and he volunteered for floor duty.

9:45 am April, 18 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

“Jack and Jill Handjobs” were the order of the day at Priscilla’s Pleasure Palace, which always caused Arturo to come prepared with his extra-absorbent wristbands.

9:49 am April, 18 The Dude said...

D-borg gets sweaty elbows – eww.

10:20 am April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ugh, set phasers to rotating modulation and aim for the crotch!

10:37 am April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The semen monocle is the hot new Bleeth fashion accessory for 2012 get them while they’re still warm, gooey and ropey ladies!

12:04 pm April, 18 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

“semen monocle” FTW!

1:10 pm April, 18 Wheezer said...

I read something about “Kristal’s hooters” and found them immediately, and then was disappointed that this wasn’t a “Where’s Waldboobs?” spot.

.

Of course, Vin posts Jenny Dell’s photo and I’ve forgotten what the hell I’m saying.

1:14 pm April, 18 Wheezer said...

E.T. Cutie sends phone pic home to Daddy, tells him that she wants to “like, live long and prosper.”

.

Daddy got drunk again that night, wondering about his (and his daughter’s) life choices.

1:16 pm April, 18 Wheezer said...

Borg Sex

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