Friday, April 6, 2012

Friday Haiku

Nathan Explosion

Cartoon dude with Cartoon bleethes…

Metalocalypse!

It’s not the size of

the wand, but the magic in

it. He shoots blanks, too.

— Wheezer

From the Depths of Hell

Comes Vapid, Shallow Creature

Welcome,Trust-Fund Tool

— Bag em, Tag em

By the power of

Greyskull, I command you to

*****-**** all night.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

“Hey, wanna party

on my tour bus?” It’s yellow,

has only five rows

— Wheezer

chest bombs can’t be stopped

only hope to contain them

Hello Kitty poke

— SonnyChibaChoad

Gene Simmons Jr.

Wears guyliner because he

Doesn’t have dad’s tongue

— The Dude

Darth Commodicus

Senses disturbance, those aren’t

Boobs, they’re space stations

— Dude McCrudeshoes

Balloon Squeak Popouts

Hey! There’s nuthin’ wrong with that!

‘Cept, the center douche.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

I caught the VD

From looking at this picture

My wife says, “Yea Sure!”**

— Doucheywallnuts

Chongo Bonobo

Has fallen from ugly tree

And hit every branch

Dispeptic TattBag

Bored with the the club scene acts cool

Mom still makes his bed

— Vin Douchal

Blaine/Angel poser.

Abra-abra-ca-dabra!

Lesions, now appear!!!

— Baron Von Goolo

**“Yea Sure”, she says

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:59 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Boobs, bewbs, horns, boobs, boobs

Pics point of reference seems

to be boobs. Yum, boobs!

7:00 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Type ScrOte Negative

messes with Christian Women;

“Let us prey,” he says.

7:00 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Wheeze off work today;

happy to haiku again,

this time, I’m on time.

7:02 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The lead singer of

Coccken lets groupies think they

have a chance. Too bad.

7:03 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Skull mesmerized by

shiny bling; must be what lured

boobie chicks to him.

7:04 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Yeah! Wheezer is here.

I’m not alone with my weak

attempts. Ramp it up.

7:05 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Hello Kitty peeks

over belt loop; wonders where

bleeth mom brought her now.

7:05 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cindy Crawford’s niece

Has a big rack and bad tude

I’d hit it ten times.

7:06 am April, 6 Bag em, Tag em said...

From the Depths of Hell

Comes Vapid, Shallow Creature

Welcome,Trust-Fund Tool

7:06 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Twin horns m/, twin ‘splosions,

two boobie hotts; too bad he

has only one nut.

7:06 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Gina Gershon’s girl

has some explaining to do

to be with this scrote.

7:06 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Their boobs blew up big

Since the gyroscope was put

In his Monkey Hole.

7:07 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

Shirts that are too small?

Or bosoms that are too big?

Who cares? I’m erect

7:07 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fire from orbit

is coming to save us all.

Wait, leave bleeths alone!

7:08 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Earlier that night

Chriss Angel put a spell on

Sluts. Fuck the grease now!

7:08 am April, 6 creature said...

flames spout from broads heads

percolate from their big breasts

or dude is devil

7:09 am April, 6 Bag em, Tag em said...

Two hot slam pieces

Thank God Mom and Dad are rich

Give them STD’s

7:09 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

By the power of

Greyskull, I command you to

Titty fuck all night.

7:09 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Skull tatt matches belt

buckle; why am I looking

there? Must be dry heaves.

7:11 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Titty fuck titty

Titty fuck titty fuck tit

Titty fuck titty.

7:12 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Wes Bentley still tries

to milk ‘Blackheart’ role, but gained

a few pounds since then.

7:12 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

I can ignore douche

Lost in Clevage Wonderland

And “eyes” of Coitus

7:12 am April, 6 creature said...

‘I can train nipples

to do unnatural acts

using two fingers’

7:13 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dude has no cock. Look.

Pants on the ground. Coven with

Devil. Cock for the sleeve.

7:14 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Man I’d hammer them.

Two stoned tramps ready to go.

Pizza and weed pays bill.

7:14 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

‘e-moo’: the wearing

of black guyliner, clothing

for plus-sized fellas.

7:16 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

Joaquin Phoenix douche

Spreads aura with rocker horns

My boner withers

7:16 am April, 6 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

On Good Friday Pray

DB1 to save our souls

From Satanic Douche

7:16 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Wisconsin

Cheese festival changed for the

Worse with human cream.

7:16 am April, 6 Douchetorious B.A.G. said...

Cleavage weeks still lives

I see five boobs in the pic

One got lost somewhere

7:17 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Good Friday? Yeah, and

this is what rose from the dead?

I’d cross the hotts’ buns.

7:17 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Only fish today. Girls

May qualify as tuna. Dude hopes

To get a good whiff.

7:18 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

I’d love a foursome

With me and the Reverend Chad

Banging these two bleeths

7:19 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

For Unholy Week,

Skeeter’s nu-metal band plays

tracks from ‘Crypture’ disc.

7:19 am April, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Photographer for

Big ‘n Natural gets

Boobies of the month.

7:21 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

I’d serve these two bleeths

An ejaculate milkshake

Right between their tits

7:21 am April, 6 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Douche douses the fire

Of lesbian hott make-out

Vag blocker douchebag

7:25 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

“Hey, wanna party

on my tour bus?” It’s yellow,

has only 5 rows.

7:27 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

If flames were over

his head, resultant grease fire

would cover five states.

7:30 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Skull tatt has Spidey

costume extensions; Peter

Parker, not Pete Steele?

7:37 am April, 6 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Dairy domes abound

Flames of Pentecost hover

d’bag needs Trashcan

7:41 am April, 6 SonnyChibaChoad said...

chest bombs can’t be stopped

only hope to contain them

Hello Kitty poke

7:42 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Topeka, Kansas

underground: disgruntled farm

boy, wheat-fed titties.

.

He’d like to milk them,

but they said ‘No.’ Look out on

farm tonight, Bessie.

7:44 am April, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

And vapidity

Wears a face like Chris Angel

Comes with booblasm

7:45 am April, 6 The Dude said...

Those boobs make my day

But I have to ask, Why, oh

why is he there too?

7:47 am April, 6 The Dude said...

Gene Simmons Jr.

Wears guyliner because he

Doesn’t have dad’s tongue

7:49 am April, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Hey, I know this douche

He botched my mocha latte!

Hipster barista

7:50 am April, 6 The Dude said...

Gene Jr.’s tattoo

Looks like the dead Kenny

From an old ‘South Park’

7:51 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Des Moines Dave wants to

play ‘Ice Cream Man’; hotts laugh at

his ‘Little Dreamer.’

7:55 am April, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Burning halo bleeths

Take pic on way to drug store

Need more vagisil

7:58 am April, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Darth Commodicus

Senses disturbance, those aren’t

Boobs, they’re space stations

8:01 am April, 6 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Balloon Squeak Popouts

Hey! There’s nuthin’ wrong with that!

‘Cept, the center douche.

8:03 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Jim Marshall dies; choad

wouldn’t know who he was; I

like the ladies’ stacks.

8:03 am April, 6 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Giant breasticles

Flame forth from fried forked fingers

Foretelling false fun

8:10 am April, 6 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Pink Teri Hatcher

Stars in Desperate Douchebags.

Give us a murder!

8:17 am April, 6 troy tempest said...

cosmic poo douche’s

gyroscopic monkeyhole

sucks cocck with teen beat.

8:22 am April, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Douche and bleeths protest

Greek posterity buttget

With fireworks from arse

8:42 am April, 6 SonnyChibaChoad said...

wannabes all doomed

Comparing Valtrex dosage

Ronnie Dio spins

8:43 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

I caught the VD

From looking at this picture

My wife says, “Yea Sure!”

8:47 am April, 6 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Three Disasters here

Avalanche of mammaries

Huge Splooge Flood is nigh

8:47 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Morose janitor

Occupation and tattoo

A blatant failure

8:50 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Chongo Bonobo

Has fallen from ugly tree

And hit every branch

8:57 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

This douche’s every

Bad choice exacerbated

By being ugly

8:59 am April, 6 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Bleeth balloons,

Guyliner gaybag looney tunes,

Kill me now…

9:07 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

I would love to grab

A fistful of vagina

And punch the douche face

9:17 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Dispeptic TattBag

Bored with the the club scene acts cool

Mom still makes his bed

9:19 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Slayer tribute band

Uses fame to pose with Bleeths

Quotes Nigel Tufnel

9:20 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ronnie James Dio

spins in grave as maloika

is used to get hotts.

9:21 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

“D Minor” Nate says

“It’s the saddest of all keys

How ’bout a blow job?”

9:22 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I wanna rock!” says

Barry from Accounting. Hotts

know he means on coccks.

9:23 am April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Nate in Tufnel mode

How much more black could this be?

Answer, none. None more black

9:24 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Lick My Love Pump’s world

tour goes up in flames as God

smotes them from above.

9:24 am April, 6 Doucheywallnuts said...

Using “maloika” in haiku, FTW. FTW, I says.

9:25 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Carl must be forced to

eat Shit Sandwiches all day

to ignore these hotts.

9:29 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hotts wait for Tim to

become green globules on

drum stool during show.

9:30 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

You really can’t dust

for vomit but it sure can

stack and get the hotts.

9:33 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Someone once said “There’s

a fine line between genius

and stupidity.’

.

We know that’s the case

by viewing this pic. Genius

was never in building.

9:37 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Horns “prove” he’ll score with

these chicks; if you don’t believe

that, then “FUCK YOU, MAN!”

9:39 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Mayan Eye of Hard

Guy speaks of inner child of

insecurity.

9:44 am April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hotts giggle as he

claims “It goes to eleven!”

millimeters count?

9:50 am April, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

He’s no magician

’twas Bleeths who made dignity,

wallet disappear

10:04 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

It’s not the size of

the wand, but the magic in

it. He shoots blanks, too.

10:09 am April, 6 DarkSock said...

80+ haikus?

Looks like I picked the wrong day

To Stay Home From Work…

10:09 am April, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Blaine/Angel poser.

Abra-abra-ca-dabra!

Lesions, now appear!!!

10:28 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Standing before world’s

largest jack-o-lantern: two

treats and lump of poo.

10:40 am April, 6 Wheezer said...

Wow! Two each for Vin

and me – ‘Sock is feeling quite

generous today.

12:30 pm April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

@ Wheezer

.

Yes, it’s like the old

Gordie Howe Haiku front page

Mom issues, gas, apes

4:55 pm April, 6 Nostradouchus said...

Fucc this stupid guy,

He is a god damned douchebag.

No, really….fucc him.

5:13 am April, 7 CB Popped said...

I was gonna put one up here, but Nostradouchus just made me laugh out loud and I’m chucking as I type.

6:24 am April, 7 CB Popped said...

Salty ropes would fly,

On the hott chick on the left,

After I punch him

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