Monday, April 2, 2012

HCwDB of the Week: Enrique and Paid-To-Pose Tammy

Well, kids…you know what the Blue Font means.  DarkSock’s driving again.

Early this morning (’round 11:45 am…) I found the following note affixed to my front door much like Martin Luther’s 95 theses attached to the church door at Wittenberg on Halloween of 1517; although I doubt Martin Luther’s note was adhered using what appeared to be a strange mixture of vanilla yogurt and llama hair:

“SOCK…GOTTA GO TO LAOS…FIND MY LLAMA LLYNDA…BE BACK SOON – RUN THE SITE UNTIL I RETURN; NO NUDITY ON THE FRONT PAGE…AND SORRY FOR THE VOMIT”

I didn’t see the last part until too late.  Ah well…needed new ebony socks anyway.  Let’s get this boating excursion fired up!  I’ll be your captain for the foreseeable future; what’s the worst that could happen?  Unlike last time…

***

So, on to the Weeklies – I reckon it was pretty much between Vinnie DoublePump and Trust Fund Enrique.

While some felt Vinnie D.P. bordered on “nottadouche”, alert reader Sergeant Poop made the following astute observations:

“At first glance–to an amateur–Vinnie would appear to be a nottadouche. Upon further inspection, however, one sees a man who is wearing a belt, yet his pants are still far too low below the acceptable height.   A wrist tattoo is also readily noticeable. Don’t forget about the gold necklace.  And, ladies and gents, the icing on the cake–the double peace sign hand gestures.

Well-said, Sgt. Poop.  Vinnie D.P. is indeed a treacherous sleeper agent for all that reeks of Axe.   However, let’s face it – in Enrique’s case, mofo’s got a see-through blouse on parted enough to show off his unearned dog tags; he is sporting a rojo chapeau, he’s wearing very unnecessary sunglasses indoors, has what appears to be a tiny functioning anus on his chin, and most damningly, he is in objectionable proximity to Kathy’s delightfully droopy dairy domes, dammit.

“CREE!  CREE!”, cry the poopie birds on his gramma’s blouse.  Well said, poopie birds.  On to the monthly with you, Enrique.

Agree?  Disagree?  Have any idea where DB1 is, and when he might return?  As always, waste yer keystrokes in the comments section.



# posted by Bagnonymous
7:14 am April, 2 Douche Springsteen said...

The boss is gone? Sock’s in charge? Does this mean it’s Pear Week again?

7:26 am April, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

These two aren’t that bad. They’e kind of discreetly dressed. And by discreetly dressed I mean like fucking Dog The Bounty Hunter style.

.

I put forth a motion that the porn filter be lifted while blue keys is running the show.

7:31 am April, 2 Ass-istant Manager said...

Yes! The cat is away! Finally. Now the real fun begins.

7:31 am April, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

When I see the font all a blue it means “Uncle Sock” is in control and by in control I mean Pear after dark. To all you lurkers and youngins strap in it’s gonna be a wild ride (no pun intended).

7:33 am April, 2 Ass-istant Manager said...

My guess for where DB1 is, some sort of women’s retreat that serves Twinkies and sadness.

7:37 am April, 2 John Largemans Cheeseburger said...

I enjoy a nice piece fruit every now and then so I’m definitely looking forward to sweet juicy Pear

7:46 am April, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Don’t look at this!

.

http://www.lemonparty.biz

7:51 am April, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

7:59 am April, 2 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

WTF REV ! 7:50 a.m is too early for that shit, pun intended. But I fondly remember the last time the boss took a break and look forward to the organized chaos from Mr. Sock’s.

8:03 am April, 2 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I second Rev Chad’s motion that the porn filter be lifted..

.

.

.

And want to know if anyone here will co-sign the commitment papers to have him examined.

.

.

.And by “have him examined” I mean a thorough proctological performed by a penurious practitioner of anal probing.

.

.

…although he might enjoy that.

.

.

.

Hippocrates

8:15 am April, 2 DarkSock said...

Reverend, BCS would be proud. And by “proud” I mean “would have already beaten you to the punch”…

.

There will be pear…Oh yess there will. I promised the Boss no front page shenanigans, so as not to run afoul of Nazi IT party-poopers; however the “comments” sections are sort of like Cinemax after dark on a Saturday.

.

So if you reckon you got some pear worth sharing, or have a pic of a silly ass ‘bag that needs a verbal beat-down, or would like to contribute something patently offensive for Friday’s Thoughts and Links…holler at me:

.

darksok@gmail.com

8:20 am April, 2 Ass-istant Manager said...

@Choad, I’ll triple co-sign that paper. RevChad is straight up nuts, I was kinda hoping he would take this time to go back to rehab and give us the play by play or just stop posting entirely and actually rehab. Wishful thinking, oh well. Gotta love his histrionics then I guess.

8:26 am April, 2 Nice Cars of Nevada said...

Looks like Tammy’s wearing a candy bra. My morning is two tones brighter.

8:43 am April, 2 Vin Douchal said...

This is one of those days you wished the Rev’s links weren’t working

8:49 am April, 2 Doucheywallnuts said...

The Rev’s links are the worst thing I’ve seen since this.

.

http://www.xvideos.com/video205490/piss_fisting

.

Golden Domers

8:52 am April, 2 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Enough already! We’re supposed to pretend to vomit….not actually vomit…from what we see on this site…..

8:56 am April, 2 Nice Cars of Nevada said...

D.wallnuts is a pisservationist.

9:06 am April, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

DW could play the piss fisters but I can’t link to Ginger’s Sex Asylum? Clip Tubgirl for a nastier view. I’s gonna go dig up some real bad shit and throw it at wordpress.

9:12 am April, 2 Ernest Hemingdouche said...

Little known fact: two girls one cup was really just the trailer from a full length video.

9:19 am April, 2 Ass-istant Manager said...

I know where DB1 is! He’s scouring the internet for the word douchebag and then writing strongly worded emails telling the poster to reference him.

9:27 am April, 2 Ass-istant Manager said...

I know where DB1 is! He’s working on his new reality show “Soul Sucking Mind Trash 2: I Need the Money.”

9:44 am April, 2 Vin Douchal said...

I got a gorilla for sale:

.

10:08 am April, 2 Doucheywallnuts said...

Anytime you get the words piss and fisting together you know nothing good can happen. I’m embarrassed for myself….

10:37 am April, 2 CB Popped said...

Aw Shiiiiit, Sock’s in charge.

DB1 is on his yearly and well deserved 3rd world brainclearing excursion.

Gorilla 4 Sale, good band name.

10:44 am April, 2 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I know where DB1 is. He’s home with his Ho Ho’s getting aroused by an alpaca sweater, Ed Wood-style.

.

.

.Ed Wood I says.

1:35 pm April, 2 creature said...

fess up ‘Sock…some guys showed up for the Boss offering him a ‘new’ white coat, with nifty ‘cuff links’

.

.

.

no chance Rev, bcs suckered me in with that one 3 years ago…haven’t quite recovered all my peripheral vision yet

2:25 pm April, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I have indirect proof that The Boss went to the Toronto zoo:

.

3:17 pm April, 2 Wheezer said...

Now that the Boss is on another walkabout, we got the Hoss, AKA DS1, in charge. But when DB1 returns, do we accuse him of ‘Sockkblockking?

Leave a Reply

What is 11 + 11 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)