Sunday, April 22, 2012

Hot Chicks Something Something

Here’s another entry in the Rebecca Black irono-sweepstakes. It’s both annoying and depressing.

Fuggit. Sorry about this one.

Have some Sexy Granny Undies Pear as my apology for such mediocre Sunday entertainment.

# posted by douchebag1
7:42 am April, 22 Douchble Helix said...

I liked it! No shit.

7:43 am April, 22 Douchble Helix said...

… and I have no idea who those girls are.

7:50 am April, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Maybe autotune isn’t so bad after all.

7:54 am April, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

Sexy Granny Undies Pear are the shit!!!, son. I was fortunate to witness a slight reveal of said undies on this smoking hot Spanish chick yesterday whilst watching Barca v Real Madrid at the local watering hole. Christiano Ronaldo is a bitch and that video sucked!!!!

8:13 am April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

How can we live in a world where hot girls are given a free ride to put out bullshit like this? It’s like this one site I frequent where the hott is put on a pedestal, “saved” and even enshrined in a hall of sorts even if she’s a total moron with no redeeming value other than her looks. Oh wait, wrong forum, I thought this was my other favorite site, TheWorldIsFullof ShittyHypocricy.com.

.

.

.

I Got 99 Problems and These Hot Bitches Ain’t One.

8:15 am April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

Gramma Doily Ass for HOH though. I have spoken.

8:17 am April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

^It’s nice because it comes with its own doily coaster, so you wont leave a ring when you set your drank on it.

8:50 am April, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Those girls need to be cock throttled with airtight members. It is earth day, is it not, can’t have chicks creating sound poluttion while driving in the back of some gas-guzzler.

.

I gotta spend earth day the way it was meant by the good Lord God. I’m gonna go down by the crick and drink a six-pack and see how far the cans float. Then I’m gonna fell some ornery trees that have been putting the bad shade on the pool before I change my oil and throw the old shit into my composter cause it mixes in well with the organics, Son. Later while my barbeque is spilling out some sweet smoke and C02 my neighbour and I will christen summer with the annual .22 short pick off every birds nest in the pasture shooting gallery. Them robins get pretty funny while your shooting up their eggs..Cause them babies will be all sqwawking aand shitting and eatin grass seed and shit if they get past egg stage. After supper we’ll be throwing all our meat scaps on top of the oil. It’s called the cycle of life sons. Beer tabs float to the culvert, birdies use them for their nests, wee kill the birdies and drink more beer and the earth springs eternal. After supper we gather to say the blessing that the lawn tractor starts, and if it does I’ll be plowing every fucking green thing down while the guests throw Roundup (respect) on everthing they find. Then we let the kiddies fill up their water cannons with 24D and spray fucking everyting dead until next year and then we have a huge bonfire and respect the glory of dirt. The end. Glory be!

9:00 am April, 22 Wheezer said...

Can we go back to 04/20 so I can tolerate this?

9:06 am April, 22 Anonymous said...

“One of the problems hot girls have is not realizing they’re 6’s” – Joel McHale, “The Soup”

9:12 am April, 22 Douchble Helix said...

I have taken a vow of “DO NOT ARGUE”.

.

So, I will only gently suggest that there is more to this than meets the eye. Perhaps these two don’t consider themselves hott, at all?

.

I don’t know that that’s it, I’m just suggesting it’s possible. The Chief *did* mention “irony” and shit.

9:58 am April, 22 tall guy said...

Those undies aren’t too bad. I noticed Dreuche weighed in fairly quickly as well. Could just imagine her ointment coloured poo catchers. Vom. Probably foreign also. Some ghastly knock off Eyetalian “brand” name.

10:14 am April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

^ This can’t be the real tall guy. That was actually funny. Ointment coloured poo catchers FTW. And if you must know they’re whatever cotton brand thats on sale at the Target. Ointment colored of course.

10:41 am April, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I call this noise syphilis.

11:02 am April, 22 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Ugh! That video was HORRIFIC! Ooh, that was painful. I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit.

12:16 pm April, 22 Mr. Berns said...

Which one is the duchbag?

12:27 pm April, 22 CB Popped said...

Granny panty pear is UNREAL!

Def hall of pear worthy, no face necessary.

One glance at the vid clip and I get the “No fucking’ way – I wont hit play” flag.

1:29 pm April, 22 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

“The best thing about music television is you can enjoy it with the sound off.” – George Harrison

1:58 pm April, 22 The Dude said...

Can you catch anything by sniffing that doily?

.

I like watching a little TV. That’s why I own a little tv.

2:08 pm April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

I’m thinking of writing a book where every page is a statement of the obvious like my “How can we live in a world….” followed by a statement of something obvious. I mean DB1 got a book deal using the terms boobie suckle and pooch sparkle, so I’m pretty sure publishers will be down for my garbage too. Don’t worry DB1 Ill be sure to mention you in the Acknowledgments. I know how itchy you get when you don’t get your shout outs.

2:12 pm April, 22 tall guy said...

Guys usually develop an itch after you inflict your beastly society on ’em, Dreuche.

2:40 pm April, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That song/’video” should be called, “Boner Kill,” and used at Sexual Addiction Clinics to cure chronic masterbaters and other deviants. I may not be able to get it up tonight. Whiskey Dick, I says.

3:03 pm April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, I’m intrigued by this beastly society of which you speak. Seriously though, this can’t be the real tall guy because the stuff you’re typing is interesting. Go on, what pray tell is the organizational like in my quote unquote beastly society and where am I on said structure?

3:05 pm April, 22 Nancy Dreuche said...

*organizational structure

3:44 pm April, 22 hermit said...

After reading Reverend Chad Kroeger’s vile and despicable affront to all that is good and decent, I had to strip off my clothes, bathe my body in Yellowstone wolf urine, and meditate in field of fragrant wild flowers to cleanse much soul from his deranged ratings.

.

.

Then I backed my suv over a nest of blind and helpless baby bunnies and did a burn-off.

3:45 pm April, 22 CB Popped said...

Whiskey Dick was an actual suggested band name.

Big win for the Bruins today.

3:54 pm April, 22 hermit said...

Fuck autospell and jack Daniels.

4:03 pm April, 22 hermit said...

As a very casual hockey fan who watches only a handful of nhl playoff games, winter Olympic hockey and that outdoor game, i’m almost never disappointed.

.

case in point; that bruins/caps series.

4:24 pm April, 22 DarkSock said...

I would like to get my ointment-colored dongle all twisted up in that granny’s knickers…

4:46 pm April, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sens rule! And the equivalent of Whisky Dick is tonight hearing from afar my 9 year-old being taught the art of over-lip waxing. Tunes were cool when I was 10.

5:20 pm April, 22 CB Popped said...

Wonderful George Harrison quote Choad. Tks.

Hearing Hermit’s enjoying NHL playoff hockey is music to my ears.

Now it’s for real – regular season is over. This means having your name engraved on the oldest trophy in N. American sports history. Finesse meets resistance. Be sure to check out the Ottawa Senators hosting the NY $trangers for advancement tomorrow. Should be intense.

NHL Championship victory also means being able to shoot fuccen ropes on Pear of all sorts as they mount the Stanley Cup when each player owns it for a week.

5:27 pm April, 22 CB Popped said...

“Ointment Coloured Dongle”,,,,,new skiffle – British Band.

5:31 pm April, 22 CB Popped said...

I’m not sports historian,,,I just know that phuccen Cup is 100 years old or something crazy like that.

Blew a sciatica nerve for the first time today at fuckin’ 43 years old.

Sour Diesel is kicking in hard.

Ice. Anti – Inflammatory Future.

5:37 pm April, 22 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

I would get a blowie from these two. Cause you can’t give a blowie and sing at the same time.

Pavarottis

6:04 pm April, 22 The Dude said...

Has anyone tasted Whiskey cunt? I’ve whiffed it, resuming traditional Missionary position ASAP.

6:11 pm April, 22 The Dude said...

Good god — I mean Bad God, I finally played that P.O.S. video. I thought I could make it through the day with my lunch in my stomach.

.

Boss, can you make it more difficult to play the vids that make us want to commit sepuku?

6:37 pm April, 22 troy tempest said...

These fuccen “hotties” are going to look like small sofas in their 40s.

6:39 pm April, 22 troy tempest said...

especially the one on the right. She’s got “never took the baby weight off” written all over her face. Especially after she poops 3 little tax deductions out…

6:40 pm April, 22 troy tempest said...

When she’s 60, she’ll look like this:

http://jokeyomama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Fat-Women-10.jpg

8:33 pm April, 22 tall guy said...

Dreuche, your last post of wreaks of hypoglycaemic rush induced by too thick a canoli. Remember, even your wide set loins have limitations.

1:08 am April, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

If you take your canoli anally, it saves wear and tear on the stomache and eliminates nearly all caloric absorption. It’s an old Jedi trick.

4:32 am April, 23 tall guy said...

Nothing like the voice of experience.

4:52 am April, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sour Diesel^

7:03 am April, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Did the hott chicks ever show up for this video? I waited until the end of it (do I win a prize or something for this?)but I didn’t even see any on the streets as they were driving to…? Hey, where the fucck were they going anyway? Was it to that party that they didn’t go to? Aw man, I feel gipped.

7:50 am April, 23 DB Sweeney said...

Who sat those girls in front of a microphone and told them to read those words to THAT ABOMINATION of a track? That is who is to blame here. Somebody actually spent time creating that track on their laptop, writing those words. There is where you find the douchebag in all of this. The douchebag here is implied, and the hot chicks are barely hot enough to make your average High School cheerleading squad. And the melody? Tone deaf pre-bleeth post-pubescent arrogant little prisses snarking out tuneless brag-pop. At least auto-tune their intervals to make them a little less offensively dissonant. Jeebus.

I would fuck either of those two with Plinky’s mom’s dick.

7:51 am April, 23 DB Sweeney said...

“wouldn’t”. Not “would”.

7:52 am April, 23 DB Sweeney said...

I says.

9:17 am April, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

After watching the first 45 seconds of that video, I want the terrorists to win.

P.S. Rev. Chad, what’s a gram of sour diesel going for in your neck of the woods? I’ve a sneaking suspicion I am paying too much.

4:29 am April, 24 Evilmoose said...

Was anyone actually able to watch the whole thing? Thank God for fast forward!

9:18 pm April, 24 Little Willie said...

They weren’t all that bad actually. I’d do ’em both ass to mouth a few times before getting bored with them.

Leave a Reply

What is 6 + 9 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)