Friday, April 13, 2012

Is "The North Face" Clothing Inspiring a Return to 2006-level Doucheyness?

Stephen writes in with the eagle-eyed alert:

————–

DB1,

The scan I’m attaching is of a card that came with my new shirt from The North Face.

It recommends erecting the “Sun Collar Stand” to protect your neck from harmful sun beams.

I’m fearful that the Greico virus is spreading to even outdoorsy-athletic types, and they’re inventing ways to legitimize collar popping.

Be safe out there!

– Stephen

————-

Good catch, Stephen. The Grieco Virus mutates in horrifying ways. This appears to be one of them.

Burn the label with butane, and don’t look back.

# posted by douchebag1
9:20 am April, 13 Adolf Skroatler said...

Stephen is quite the eagle-eye, but please note, the whole North Face clothing line is for douchebags.

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ASvB

9:25 am April, 13 Vin Douchal said...

You live in a cold climate. You buy a coat/jacket. Big fuccen deal.

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Pop that collar and it’s a whole new Douchebag Life Game

9:29 am April, 13 Adolf Skroatler said...

I think the artist that drew the sun might have been thinking about last night’s Chicken-Eye workout routine.

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I’d venture to say he has a fondness for the old Starfish.

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ASvB

9:41 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

I like the North Face brand. They make good back packs. I’m gonna give them a pass because they’ve helped me hike a pass.

9:51 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

The biggest douchebag in this pick is that butthole of a sun. If your popping your collar for non fashion reasons any person with the ability to reason will give you a pass. Those prone to rigid black and white thinking will label you a douche.

9:53 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Meh, Pick=pic. Your popping=you’re popping. Rigid black and white thinking = DB1 and the Republican party.

9:55 am April, 13 Southern Scrotic said...

The North Face is for douchebags. My preference is The South Butt.

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Never stop relaxing.

9:58 am April, 13 Et Tu Douche? said...

Northface like REI Coop used to be, back in the day, quality brands but alas over the years they’ve devolved into mass market poorly made attire. For what it’s worth Northface is owned by VF Corporation the same company that gives you Wrangler Jeans®, John Varvatos & Seven For All Mankind.

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As for the above illustration I say notta the reason being is that it serves a function. If you’ve ever spent extended amounts of time working, boating etc; in the mid summer sun then you might get an appreciation for this type of clothing. Me personally I prefer Mountain Hardwear, Arcteryx and CloudVeil.

10:12 am April, 13 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Greico’s top lip is so wide, you could park one of his douchebag cars on it.

10:17 am April, 13 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I also understand that in the presence of super hot chicks, the shirt’s top buttons come undone and the front bottom pops up to ventilate the abs.

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Those guys think of everything.

10:17 am April, 13 Doucheywallnuts said...

What the fuc is going on here? Have we become such fuccen pussies that we have to wear our collars up to protect from the dangers of the sun? The sun is the whole fuccen reason we are here. Can you imagine the guys at Iwo Jima with the current sensibilities? “Hey guys, before we take that hill make sure your collars are up so we don’t get sun damage on our necks!” we are fuccen doomed. The terrorist shit heads will have chunks of us in their stool.

10:19 am April, 13 Adolf Skroatler said...

@ Nancy Dreuche

“back packs” = “backpacks”

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ASvB

10:24 am April, 13 Adolf Skroatler said...

The instructions are giving the DBs a reason to pop the collar.

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K-AY-Rappola!!

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The world is ending, where are the freaking Zombies when you need ’em.

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ASvB

10:34 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@ Et Tu, its true, I havent purchased anything from them recently. You know, I bought my my backpack (TY ASvB) before they sold out. Groundfloor and whatnot.

10:42 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Greico looks like the product of a Skeletor and Liza Minelli fist fucking session that somehow producd Gah, the years have not been kind.

10:47 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Producd = produced. To reiterate though, he looks bad. I can’t believe I Facebook stalked him for three days and then passed out from a boring overload. I can believe the last part but next time you guys should probably intervene. If there is one thing I don’t need its more sleep.

10:53 am April, 13 DoucheWeasel said...

Anyone wearing The North Face clothing outside of the Himalayas (and ESPECIALLY in So Cal) is an Uber DouchePussy.

10:53 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Jesus Fuck you guys aren’t believing at all. It was 1984. I was in Grade 13 which was like an MBA for you fucktards whom graduated in America’s regular degress back then but them southards in the old USA wanted to improve and called their day care a high-school and the the fuckers were not left behind. And then a few southern Bush’s, Clintons, Bushds, obamads fucking you all arouund a Canadain named REfgerend Cjas should be pickerd po president and i’ll learn haoiw to use my figfgnneytywas afggain. AAAAAAAARRRRRGBHYvfgggg!@

10:55 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

O yeaz/ Ehar I was trying to day was I walked out weith a norht face suit under my CB clothes. So I threw away my salalmans and groove into another space unti lI whitefaced a board and ruined my heath.

10:59 am April, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And Nancy Dreuche you really bug Creature and me so go have a girl fart behing some fucking old arena garbage can full of wasps you are used to.

11:19 am April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Oh noes, two washed up drunks hate me. What will I tell the kids at school. RevChad, you’re the most offensive person I know of and if I offend you, its kind of an honor. Stay frosty toots.

11:39 am April, 13 Stephanie said...

North Face is not douche,sorry,now your into my stuff. And I’m not a douche.I have a down jacket from them and it’s not for fashion it’s a real valuable winter use item. I’ve never seen one douche wearing it,so far…only people who want to be warm and not stick to the sidewalk frozen… I was just at the local hunt,fish,gun,bow and arrow store and I’m proud to say,not a douche in sight. If there were, I would have grabbed a weapon and shot it.

2:54 pm April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DW, I feel like I owe someone a handy for getting the inside scoop on Raquel. It really is all about who you blow. Looks like I picked the wrong time to stop drinking Spanish Fly.

2:55 pm April, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

Crap. Posted in the wrong section. What is with me today?

3:00 pm April, 13 colormedouche said...

north face has always been douchey

9:01 pm April, 13 Nostradouchus said...

Do it in the blistering sun = forgivable.

Do it in a bar = DBag

4:38 am April, 15 McCrude said...

Northface started out as good kit, but now is cheaply made poseur wear. I would wear it… If I was naked, starving, and Underarmour was the only other alternative.

4:51 am April, 15 CB Popped said...

Popping a collar with purpose – I’d say notta.

(Hiking, freezing temps, Etc.)

Popping for “style” while wearing an Izod – in some cases 2 or 3 of them – Autodouche.

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