Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Moaz Has High Hair

Moaz says, “bindle bindle bindle bindle… FWEEEE!!”

Do not ask Moaz what that means.

For Moaz is now distracted by shiny coaster on bar.

Meanwhile Stacey offers rare Double Mayan Eye of Coitus.

Say “thank you Stacey.”

Okay good.

Now pass Moaz the mixed nuts bowl. Moaz is hungry.

# posted by douchebag1
1:34 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

Moaz can’t build a goddamned Lämp in shop class.

1:38 pm April, 24 Tequilla Sundouche said...

Wait. Moaz is a dude?

1:39 pm April, 24 Wheezer said...

Moaz is hungry like the wolf.

1:40 pm April, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

3 more weeks and that’ll be a healthy mullet.

1:42 pm April, 24 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ashlee Simpson is a repeat douche offender and by that I mean she’s let many a douche pump off to full completion in her pickle slit, full completion I says!

2:18 pm April, 24 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Moaz offers the forearm of unfinished lame dragon tattoo.

2:20 pm April, 24 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I didn’t know they made a Swedish Realdoll. I would have ordered one with bigger boobs, but that’s just me.

2:23 pm April, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Isn’t the moaz a species of dingo that’s protected near the Gold Coast?

2:36 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Simon Le Bung

2:37 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He looks like the dyke in Glee. So I hear.

2:38 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After his next breath he makes a break for the can to get rid of the Gordita platter rumbling in his puffy stomach.

2:41 pm April, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Moaz wears effete long dog tags of the conscientious ejector.

2:41 pm April, 24 Douche Springsteen said...

The Rev watches Glee? Is that something Mrs. Rev makes you watch? I can only imagine how many Molson XXXs & bong hits it takes to render you numb enough to endure that.

2:43 pm April, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Moaz sports the Barry Manilow hair of ultimate failure.

2:48 pm April, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Moaz never forgets to cup the balls.

2:51 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Moaz’ favorite flavor is wool

2:51 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Moaz has a dog named, “Zaom”

2:52 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Moaz exercised once, back in 2003

2:54 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Moaz sings Liza Minelli in the shower

2:54 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Moaz keesters his hair gel through airport security

2:56 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

It’s like a pastel black. How much more black could it be? None. None more black

3:06 pm April, 24 Morbo said...

Moaz is what a young James Spader would’ve looked like, if he had ditched the Hollywood scene in 1984 and joined A-Ha.

3:25 pm April, 24 CB Popped said...

Moaz is chubby.

“Have you seen the cover of Duke Fame’s new album?…Well its rather luuuuuurid.”

3:27 pm April, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

Wait, so Vin watches Desparate Housewives and The Rev watches Glee?! And all this time we’ve been making fun of the dudes in the pictures. Well except for me because I’m like a trail blazer in mock. And shit of course.

.

This is one of those BrokeBackStreet Boys in the pic. Horrible songs but at least they all have eachothers backs literally speaking. Because that’s what being in an all gay band is all about. Am I right DarkSock?

3:45 pm April, 24 Douche Bagalow said...

Notice the sad fugly wedding ring that has cleverly been shifted one over to the middle finger. Genius!

3:49 pm April, 24 troy tempest said...

That is not the double eye of coitus. That is the double eye of tweakerbitch fried on crank.

4:28 pm April, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

Moaz considers himself a sensitive artist and by artist I mean a barrista at the local hipster java cafe.

4:45 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Moaz had a thought once, er?

4:51 pm April, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

We don’t watch Glee but are aware of it. Getting wasted and watching might be a trip.

5:22 pm April, 24 ehcuodouche said...

Moaz is 1980s James Spader. Not coincidentally, all his roles that decade were douchebags.

6:29 pm April, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

My Weenis is jealous of Stacey’s pendant

7:11 pm April, 24 Stephanie said...

Fucking dragon tattoos.

7:15 pm April, 24 Vin Douchal said...

I don’t watch fuccen Desparate Housewives , that show blows donkey cocck….. I watch The Bachelor. Much better

7:31 pm April, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Vin, my B. I knew it was one my stylists watched, I just couldn’t remember which one. He watches a lot of those Queer Eye/Makeover/ Reality Dating Shows. I can’t keep em straight. Heh heh.

8:10 pm April, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

McCrudeshoes FTW by using effete in comment.

9:08 pm April, 24 Mr. Biggs said...

Weekly. Right here. I mean look at them. Mayan eye of Coitus implores to look into your soul and assure you that we are one ecstatically united. And you almost believe it. And then you look two shades to the left. And your brain goes from 100 to reverse: “bluh duh wait … Him … You … How … What …” I mean look at him. His eyes speak the zombie apocalypse.

10:02 pm April, 24 The Dude said...

I would bone Ashlee Simpson if she could speel corecktly.

10:07 pm April, 24 The Dude said...

Can we pleaase dismiss the myth of ball-cupping? itsth driving me bonkerz!

.

Myth to some, Myther to others…

11:03 pm April, 24 The Dude said...

Darwin spoke of the douchebag virus in his tome, The Origin of Species. Centuries later, panty-clad hotts traveled to a place only imagined by the likes of Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and the reviled Humphrey Bogart. Cesar Romero was rumored to have soiled this island paradise, only to get a Swifty Lazar in his Peter Lawford. I tell you readers this only because my days are numbered…backwards. I have absolutely zero knowlerance for the information being manstwitted in this submission. Sayoñera señors! If I don’t wake up, take good care of Nancy Dreuche for me, and by ‘take good care’ I mean…

11:07 pm April, 24 The Dude said...

pfffftt!

11:09 pm April, 24 Whoop-di-douche said...

Bronzer McTwat has higher hair, just not as much of it. Shouldn’t white tresses count for somethin’?

11:12 pm April, 24 Whoop-di-douche said...

Anyone with hair this high is hosting a head lice pole-vaulting event, as sure as mine eyes are seeing itty-bitty poles.

1:47 am April, 25 The Dude said...

Where are the traveling Mother Fuckers of the Obstainipus Douchebags of the Fartstentatious Duck-Faced pidshits of Fuckerfaster?

2:18 am April, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Stacey looks like Buffy the Douche Slayer.

3:15 am April, 25 Nostradouchus said...

She looked more like a Starla to me. And he must be Ambigubag’s cousin.

5:46 am April, 25 Olddog1 said...

She looks like Paris Hilton, with boobs. Or at least slightly larger boobs. Maybe Paris’s younger, better looking sister. She does not look like Buffy. SMG was never that cute. BTW, I am and always will be a big Buffy fan, but face it, SMG was only picked because she was little and she had worked on soap operas. Fox thought she might have a following and they thought they were getting a teen soap. Boy were they wrong.

6:05 am April, 25 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

They’re both wearing the same top. How sweet.

6:26 am April, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

His hair is bigger than her boobs! Party foul, dude.

.

And isn’t that Sarah Michelle Gellar’s little sister???

6:28 am April, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Olddog, you lost me at SMG was never that cute. If you said not that hott, I might have agreed and said, “but she’s definitely cute…” but now you talking crazy talk.

1:59 pm April, 25 The Dude said...

This guy.http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2012/04/hcwdb-after-dark-douche-mcdingle-gots-mad-leg-for-ya-baby/

where is he, and why do I care?? The very reverend, honorable whatever for the Sussudio, etc.

4:17 pm April, 25 Olddog1 said...

@Dude McCrudeshoes, I meant that SMG is not as cute as the Hott in the picture. Hott and cute both being rather subjective in a transcendental way. Now that’s crazy talk.

11:33 pm April, 25 Guid is Good said...

Moaz is patiently waiting for his big career break as a fluffer in gay porn.

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