Monday, April 23, 2012

Oldbag Ralph Scores Dreamgirl Donna

Who says chin-dribble, douche-shirt, and six pound watch can’t snag uberhottness for the 40+ set?

The Baby Tebus just soiled his diaper with shame and regret over the poor life choices made by hot taut boobie hottie suckle thighs after too many appletinis on a Tuesday.

# posted by douchebag1
11:50 am April, 23 CB Popped said...

Is he drinking Cognac?

He’s kind of a wanna – be, hyped – up, “Pacino – bag”.

11:52 am April, 23 troy tempest said...

I see pigeons use him for target practice. Nice way to rock the guano on your pants there, Oldbag Ralph. Don’t get to close to her though. She’ll want to get married, you’ll say “sure” and then 2 years later she walks away with half of everything you owned, and that was her plan from the gitgo. And so you;ll have to go back to being a target for pigeon poo bombers to try and entice another hottie to your smelly den of depravity.

11:57 am April, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ever since the success of Iron Man, Ralph has been using the “I’m the real Tony Stark” bit like crazy and usually gets some bubble-headed Bleeth to fall for it.

12:01 pm April, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

An old goat that thinks he’s a kid.

12:03 pm April, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Ron Jeremy is going into chameleon mode as his skin tries to match the color of the couch.

12:16 pm April, 23 Scooby Douche said...

An early candidate for Most Expensive First Date Hott?

12:25 pm April, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Donna, not all that Hott.

12:25 pm April, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Austin Powers 4: Doctor Juevil.

12:27 pm April, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think his shirt shit on his pants.

12:31 pm April, 23 fatness said...

Dreamgirl Donna’s got a dollar sign grin on.

12:34 pm April, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She’s a few years ibto nursing. Legs losing tone from gabbing in the comfy lounge watching vital drop, pre-matronly arms sprouting from all the fucking chocolates they steal from the patients the night they give them the extra dose N’mean.

12:34 pm April, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Donna better learn to sit like a lady and pull that dress down under her before she sits down. From the looks of that sofa, the best she could hope to get away with now is a simple goat cheese infection with a side of Ugandan lobster fleas.

12:38 pm April, 23 The Dude said...

Is it douchey to tell girls I’m 50 even if I’m not 50 yet?

12:44 pm April, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He walks up to chicks and says… I… am… Iron… Douche! http://youtu.be/sMffgZXZ2XE

1:08 pm April, 23 fatness said...

Ugandan Lobster Fleas. Saw them in Philly in ’91. Totally stoned.

1:40 pm April, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Diamond pinky ring totally polishes up the ripped jeans / t-shirt rocker look.

1:48 pm April, 23 tall guy said...

^ Totally polishes! But hang on, where’s his (oversized) pepper grinder?

2:06 pm April, 23 Ever Present Anonymous said...

Holy crap! It’s Al Swearengen back from the past! And looking happy.

2:07 pm April, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I thought this was a still from the less known follow up to “When Harry Met Sally” but equally hilarious movie “When Jess Dumped Marie for His Hott Secretary After that ‘Business Trip’ to Cancun”. That Bruno Kirby sure can make me laugh.

2:54 pm April, 23 Sir Douche said...

Probably paid a fortune for those “designer” jeans. Pre-made holes.

3:07 pm April, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

Poor man’s Carmen Elecktra and poor woman’s Al Pacino are starring in Scent of a Douchebag. The reviews are in. It’s reektacular.

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@The Dude, its douchey to lie in general. Unless youre on the internet, then its just par for the course.

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@tall guy, looks to me like youre trying to start a Nancy’s Dad meme. I would be honored.

6:39 pm April, 23 tall guy said...

The words designer and jeans do not belong in the same sentence. There are no exceptions. Besides, what sort of hayseed – aside from Dreuche’n’dadio – wears fucking jeans anyway.

6:46 pm April, 23 FredN. said...

Whoever called this guy out as Al Swearingen, RIGHT ON.

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BTW, I give this guy a notta. Look in his eyes – he’s mocking himself as heartily as we mock him. He knows this isn’t gonna last, that this girl is WAY too hot for him, that his 9 year old Mercedes isn’t gonna do him any favors with the ladies, that he really did try too hard with the shirt, watch, rings, and facial hair.

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I really do see that. Give that guy a Notta.

11:10 pm April, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Robert Downey Jr. has really let himself go…

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More than usual this time.

11:47 pm April, 23 Stephanie said...

Ralph’s thinking about his future,he marries her,and she gets to change his diapers.

7:48 am April, 24 CB Popped said...

“scent of a douchebag” haha.

7:49 am April, 24 CB Popped said...

“scent of a douchebag” haha.

But I see Swearington’s point,,,hey if he gets to fondle her Fagina, he wins.

3:11 am April, 25 Nostradouchus said...

Question: Does he dye his chest hair before he shaves it? Yes, or yes.

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