Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Blow Up 'Bag

David Hemmings Face is no excuse for Eurobritbaggery in presence of All-American Cheerleader Angelica, Ian.

Your hair is French New Wave Godardian art cinema fail. It’s Neorealist Avant-gardian douchal echo is a pomo boho sample pack of retroactive asshackery.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

With posts as literary as this, it’s hard for me to believe I’m losing the masses to sites like The Dirty and Is Anyone Up.

# posted by douchebag1
10:25 am April, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Maybe pepper your posts with more boobies DB1. Also you might want to consider adding some freshies to the spank bank (HOH). Let’s be real here guy. The masses are as a whole are not very bright and haven’t quite gotten over that whole mother’s teat fixation so its best you capitalize on it before they wise up, if ever.

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Consulting Assclowns Since 1977

10:35 am April, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I have one hundred million interweb tokenz for anyone who can explain the origin and proliferation of the duck lips pose.

10:36 am April, 10 Vin Douchal said...

She’s got a Young Mom Carol thang working for her.

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He’s got a chubby 5th grader with his first chubby thang going for him

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There are unspeakable things I would do to her. Do not speak of these things, inside voice……

10:37 am April, 10 Vin Douchal said...

@ Et Tu Douche

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SInce I didn’t steer you wrong with the Bottle Rockets, are you ready for another obscure band recommendation?

10:41 am April, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Angelica’s dress looks like a late ’70’s Eddie Van Halen guitar. I remember reading he used to make them himself with strips of tape and bicycle paint… and thinking it looked ridiculous.

10:53 am April, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Angelica’s sash celebrates her entry into the over 21 club: apparently a reference to bukkake, though quite tame by Japanese standards.

10:56 am April, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

You had me at “She’s got a Young Mom Carol thang working for her.” Mmmm…. Loves me some Young Mom Carol.

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As for obscure band recommendation, hit me brother. I’ve been a late 70’s roots reggae jag lately but am ready for something different.

11:01 am April, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

Nice eye Dude, I too just noticed All-American Cheerleader Angelica’s “Finally 21 Leg..” sash. I’m assuming it spells out legal and by legal it probably means more cocck!!!!

11:09 am April, 10 UFO Destroyers said...

As the Boss has noted of his Eurobritbaggery, I first saw a young, before he was gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that), George Michael lightly restraining this finally-legal-first appletini-with-real-ID who is not old enough to know better.

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Didn’t denim shirts die in the early 90’s?

11:12 am April, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Rusty here is one special little guy! This was taken at his victory party at Chuck E Cheese’s for winning no less than 9 gold medals at the Special Olympics!!

11:16 am April, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She looks like a prettier version of that child star who played all dirty n’ shit in Otto Preminger’s seminal masterpiece “Showgirl”. It was kinda like “Boogie Nights” without cock and anal. But that girl had some ass. I’d do everything to both of the and by everything I mean everything.

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Image not available in your country.

11:26 am April, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Hot Mom Carol is worthy of consideration for entry into the HOH. And by that I mean I would like to ejaculate onto her freshly highlighted hair.

11:32 am April, 10 Vin Douchal said...

@ Et Tu

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Check out Blue Rodeo. Canadian Alt-Country / Americana band that sounds like the Moody Blues meets Badfinger singing tunes written by Dylan, The Eagles and Ryan Adams.

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Tight harmonies around strong lyrics and great hooks. These guys are ‘Nucks that have been around for 25 years and with virtually no exposure in the US have sold millions of albums and landed in the Canadian Music Hall Of Fame, the equivalent of winning the Pacific Coast League baseball championship

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Their latest release (2009), The Things We Left Behind, is an epic 2-cd smorgasbord of long, flowing, deeply lyrical heaviness and poppy 70’s Southern Rock-style hit’s .

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Poppiness ( they fart around for about 50 seconds then it kicks in) :

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Moody Blues/Badfinger sounding older tune:

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11:33 am April, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I prefer the way this photog works.

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11:34 am April, 10 Eponymous Douche said...

I finally found Asspear LaPlant, the real girl. Wow. Speechless.

11:57 am April, 10 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said said...

this picture just gave me the idea for a great microsite.

lesbians that look like old kennedy’s

baconators..

12:04 pm April, 10 Wheezer said...

Dude McCrudeshoes (10:41 a.m.) said: “Angelica’s dress looks like a late ’70’s Eddie Van Halen guitar.

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So how overboard is an “I’ve got an ‘Eruption’ she can enjoy” cliché?

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And Et Tu has a good eye with the Young Mom Carol tie – these hotts could be sisters.

12:15 pm April, 10 Wheezer said...

Angelica is clearly too young to know that Jm J. Bullock is gay. Either that or she’s happy to be non-threatened.

12:17 pm April, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

striking resemblance to YMC

12:20 pm April, 10 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

“This is not a pipe,” indeed.

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It is a picture of a pipe.

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Just as everyone and everything we mock on this site is unreal….as they are merely pictures of reality, not reality itself.

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.Were that the above statement were true.

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.Empiricists

12:56 pm April, 10 fatness said...

“I finally found Asspear LaPlant, the real girl.”

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Still waiting on the RealDoll…

1:01 pm April, 10 Douche Springsteen said...

I think he is more of a ponce or a prat than a full blown ‘bag.

On a side note, I kind of want to drink beer and listen to records with Vin Douchal.

1:04 pm April, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I believe that there are always unbelievable things to take place before I die. One of them has just taken place with the break in the space-time continuum causing Vin Diesel to assault my ears with the evil that is Poo Rodeo or Spew Rodeo as we interchangeably call them here. We have been assaulted with the Blew Rodeo machine on almost every format due to our Canadian content rules which permit them constant airplay. Fucking Heritage ministry. They are so irrelevant here for the last two decades they are lucky to be seen at a tractor pull. But somebody bought their albums and they win some shit every year with a new retred of the same broody songs. I love ya Vin, but Boo Rodeo to anyone I have ever known in Canuckistan is as appealing as dysentary. Francine is a far superior song to anything they’ve created or performed. Damn you to hell Jim Cuddy and stay in your crypt instead of hitting the carnival scene this summer.

2:47 pm April, 10 Mayor McDouche said...

George Michaelbag

7:17 pm April, 10 Nostradouchus said...

Illegitimate Trumpbag.

8:44 pm April, 10 Stephanie said...

Hey lady,you have a Justin Beiber growth on your back. The good news is,your doctor can lance it off.

2:16 pm April, 11 CB Popped said...

Eddie Valen tape job guitar, lol.

6:46 am April, 12 Douche Wayne said...

She looks like the love child of Virginia Madsen and one of Eddie Van Halen’s guitars.

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