Monday, April 23, 2012
The Punch Brothers Score Over Their Paygrade
Lets start off this week with a little Punch Brother Twin Doucheface action.
Angelica and her sexy mom, Sexy Mom Suzie, have clearly stumbled into the wrong club after their car hit a water buffalo.
This whole scene’ll end with some technicolor dream sequence dubstep masshup of The Gardens of the Fitzi-Continis.
Yup. Too much sugar with my corn flakes this morning. Please excuse the nonsense.
I dig the Fletch reference.
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What I do not dig is the porcine Punch brother, portly, pudgy, plump, Potsie Punch. He looks like a Mexican Pikachu.
If ever there was a Ponzi Scheme that pertains to a dating situation, this photo is it.
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Wait, what?
It these two “blondes” are above the two dorks pay grade, their pay grade must be slightly above picking up dog poop.
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Next.
Mom doesn’t need to rock the cougar print. We get the message loud and clear already. She reeks of blowjobs for attention and tears dripping into her rapidly emptying martini glass as she tells you at great length about how her ex-hubby left her for a 22 year old Korean masseuse. Get your trite reassurances at the ready. You will need them to keep the train on the rails until you can plug the vacuous orifice from which the laments flow with your meat log.
The springtime employee BBQ for Marvo’s Car Wash, El Monte, CA was held at Shakeys due to rain
Obscure Italian film references this early in the morning make my head hurt.
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.Speaking of head, the MILF on the left has seen more peckers than a chicken farmer.
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.Perdues
Those two scunions will skank a few fruity, watered down “girly” drinks outta these talk glasses of minimum wage and leave ’em with a mild case of the blues that’ll easily be remedied with a go around with some late 90’s $0.99 bottom dollar porn from the local smut shop shooting their woes into yesterdays tubesock. All in a days work there eh boys?
Is it too late in my life to experiment with girly drinks? I think not. Nor has the deadline passed beyond which I shouldn’t entertain girly ggigirls at my place in their hills.
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‘tinis
Shirts that blatently advertise which team you play on are new one for me. I think it is obvious by the look on your face in close proximity to Lauren Conrad-look-a-like.
Is leopard print Bleeth the same one? http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2012/02/moose-is-a-rocker/#comments
Aye.. don’t think so Captain. But someday I will get you back for making me look at that pic again.
That ain’t Angelica’s mom, that’s her ugly friend Tina. Angelica has known Tina since they were 8 years old when they met in grade school. Angelica has stayed friends with Tina because Tina makes her feel good about herself. Even when she’s having a bad day, Angelica can still look in the mirror and say, “At least I’m not Tina. I get all the attention because I’m tall, blond, and pretty UNlike Tina. Everybody likes me because I’m soooooo pretty and they’ll do anything for me.” Sad thing is, people do. Angelica has gotten away with everything and always will. Tina is always the wing man for Angelicas of the world. Notice the picture. Angelica is with skinny douche while Tina is with fat fucck. I’ll bet if you look over all the pictures of them together, only the faces of the douches change but not much else. Tina doesn’t mind too much. She gets Angelica’s run off and she gets knocked up a notch on the beer goggles scale just by standing next to her BFF. It’s a sordid symbiotic little web of co-dependency they weave.
The Mexican Pikachu spent a lot of time on that hair twirl. Devastating result!
Both of those photos are from Chicagoland clubs, so yes, there is a slight possibility that cougar-bleeths match.
Much like the plague, it spreads from one burb to the next.
I almost thought the stench in the middle was a lesbian of the dyke order.
Just sayin’.
I snuck out after doing the nasty with a few like the mom in the day so they didn’t get my name and shit and get all lovey dovey. Sad thing is the last time I was in my construction van with all the bras hanging like so many cheesy dice. There was a lot of paint and solvents in that van, and she was pretty loaded so she likely died from the smoke.
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They say if you take the access road beside the main line into the woods and find the old burned hull of the Whitey Machine you can still hear the name Herve Villechaize being moaned on hot summer nights at 3:30 am.
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Arsonists
That shirt says homo,right? Just checking. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Knock yourself out.
Fact: Those dudes bought all the drinks and they still went home with another douche.