Thursday, May 3, 2012

Ask DB1: Autos that are Autobag?

————–

DB1,

I think we can agree that certain after-market automotive accessories may be douchebag signifiers. But are there car models that, straight off the lot, signify that a douchebag is likely to be behind the wheel?

When I was younger, young men we’d call “greasers” often drove Camaros or ‘Vettes. They are now the parents of today’s Guidos.

Was their choice of automobile a pre-signifier of douchebag offspring? Are there car models of today that signify Grieco Virus status?

Yours yet again in continued opposition to the ‘taint,

Dan

————-

White BMW 535.

Autodouche.

Greasey.

# posted by douchebag1
10:31 am May, 3 Douche Wayne said...

“You think you hate it now, wait until you drive it cross-country!”

10:35 am May, 3 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Headline of tomorrows paper (on page 36 at the bottom in size 2 font) reads “4 Douchebags Die in Tragic Ghostriding Accident”

10:38 am May, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

If only I could go back in time to Ellis Island around 1890, before the influx of Italians, and pin a note to the door:

.

“Bonjourno, pisan! America, she is closed for holiday of the blessed holy immaculata de margaritaville. Scuzzi the inconveniality! Prego return to your ship. Andiamo, pisan, andiamo and bon voyagi!”

10:41 am May, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Just about any vehicle on the road with these moronic half-wits posing on it will be douchey

10:46 am May, 3 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Pudgebag looks like he’s about to drop a steamer off the beamer.

10:47 am May, 3 wonderdouche twin said...

These four hanging out of a my mom’s Camry would make it douchey!

10:49 am May, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Hey, dude on the far right: that’s a good look, bra

10:54 am May, 3 troy tempest said...

FUCK – I just spent 20 minutes putting together a post with a bunch of cool links in it and it DIDN’T POST! WTF!?!?!?!

Grrrrrr.

10:56 am May, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This pic, without the topmost douche clipped, is from a very bottom of the barrel web site circa 2008.

11:01 am May, 3 The Italians said...

That is fucking funny Dude MacCrude. Greeks too. Leave the young chicks though. We can shave them.

.

No Racist. Son. Racist I says. 420

11:15 am May, 3 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@The Italians,

You make a good point, but of course Greeks can’t read. I’d have to devise some sort of pictogram of their hairy mothers calling for them back in the old country.

11:22 am May, 3 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Greeks also prefer sodomy with young hairless boys, at least that’s how the legend goes.

12:07 pm May, 3 Aleksander Kotsis said...

doucheautos: Hummer and Dodge Magnum

1:10 pm May, 3 Retard said...

zee germanz refus to make any mor bmw for ze amerukans.

1:14 pm May, 3 Retard said...

Full disclosure: Retard owns 2 BMW’s – has never driven shirtless nor flexed while anywhere near said BMW’s.

1:30 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

Shitskrieg.

2:02 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

The Fender Bendersteins now present the new Mercedes ad campaign: douchebags don’t do shit like this in a Mercedes!

2:43 pm May, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Iroc Zs should be autobag. I have six of them.

4:26 pm May, 3 Olddog1 said...

In my hood, Cameros required a full on mullet and an attitude to match. Also a parole officer and a least 2 pending child support payments.

Now there are two BMW’s in my garage and whilst I have been called many things, Douche is not one of them.

SOA

4:31 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

Okay, I give up. At what do the douchebags point? Whatever shitty star that is, please return from whence you came! And don’t touch the hotts – retribution will be swift!

4:32 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

Swifty Laser^

4:36 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

B.M. Double rue. Been there, crapped that.

4:37 pm May, 3 The Dude said...

* Crapfest ensued on the shitheads thread at HCwDB *

5:02 pm May, 3 churchTurk said...

any convertible post 1972 is auto-douche

7:33 pm May, 3 Sofa King said...

I didn’t realize BMWs ran on abdominal fat and forehead grease.

8:55 pm May, 3 Stephanie said...

Douche Nazi salutes? And give your Dad back his car,and please get rid of the body odor.

1:26 am May, 4 The Dude said...

Shitskrieg = one-word win. New category! Boom!

1:32 am May, 4 The Dude said...

Shitfernuggle. This process is kiilling me, Larry

7:28 am May, 4 CB Popped said...

Crude, not every Italian is a guido.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocco_Siffredi

Son.

8:04 am May, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@CB Popped,

I’ll bit on this… what cultural sensitivity lesson are you trying to teach me by referencing this model Italian (not Italian-American) citizen?

.

For the record, only southern Italians result in undesirable Italian-Americans citizens. Northern Italians resemble, at least superficially, civilized Europeans. Son.

8:19 am May, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

These men are obviously, from left to right, a doctor, a paramedic, an emergency management engineer, and veterinarian. They are on their way to rescue a busload of injured puppies which overturned on the Jersey turnpike. But first, they take a moment to pray to Aesculapius, Roman god of medicine, for success in their humanitarian endeavor.

12:34 pm May, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I dunno maybe we’re going about this all wrong? Maybe they aren’t Guids but Armenians or Persians those smarmy bastards love foreign cars and alotta douche gets imported outta those parts of the world.

1:51 pm May, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^and that’s why he’s a Captain. Damn right about there being more undesirables out there. In fact you can’t swing a cat by the tail without an undesirable trying to eat it.

1:53 pm May, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

What does an irishman have to say about a girlfriend with two black eyes?

.

What else can he say? He already told her twice.

1:59 pm May, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Hear about the guy who gave a Mexican $20 and two gallons of paint and said, “go to my house and paint my porch”?

.

Two hours later the Mexican came back and said, “I didn’t see no porche, so I just painted the Ferrari instead.”

5:00 pm May, 4 Sofa King said...

Stachu the Armenian walks into a bar and asks two attractive women to go home with him. They say to him, “Sorry, we’re lesbians–we’d rather eat pussy.” Stachu tells the bartender: “Three beers for us lesbians.”

5:33 pm May, 4 Anonymous said...

Glendale Rabiz douche

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