Saturday, May 19, 2012

Comment of the Week: Douche Springsteen

The great D.S. breaks down the Arm Tissue crisis of middle aged modernity and wins the coveted Comment of the Week:

———

This is what happens after you do the “straight and narrow” thing and then realize that the job, the wife, the sensible sedan, the 2.5 kids, the nice house do not fill in the god-shaped void within the self. You get divorced, you hear about the Burning Man festival and have a mid-life crisis and start doing things like this when you’re too old. I’m much more adjusted than this guy, in part probably because I dropped acid for the first time when I was 16 and then did all my drugs in high school and college got it out of my system when I was supposed to. That way I, won’t ever be the subject of a photograph like this after my girlfriend who is 15 years younger than myself feeds me MDMA for the first time when I’m 45.

————

# posted by douchebag1
12:32 pm May, 19 Mrs. Nuttersquirt said...

Having half of a kid would test any marriage.

12:42 pm May, 19 Dan said...

Why is that seemingly male arm/hand giving his package a knuckle massage?

12:54 pm May, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

Junk Punch FTW!!!!, and congrats to DS

1:06 pm May, 19 hermit said...

It’s rare to see a penis with such a pronounced elbow this late in the spring.

1:17 pm May, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Dude looks like Napoleon.

.

The Emporer wears no cock.

1:18 pm May, 19 troy tempest said...

Jimmy’s secret energy ring is recharging charlie’s cocck. Once charged, it will go into vibrate mode for the ladeeeeeez…

1:22 pm May, 19 Mrs. Nuttersquirt said...

Man, I shoulda done more drugs as a kid. Now I’m at risk for a mid-life crises and becoming a super cougar. Why did I listen to you Nancy Reagan?!!! I’ll be cursing your name when Kip the Movie Theatre Concessions Boy has me bent over a broken pin ball machine in the backroom of a Chuck E. Cheese (his other part time job.). In between yelling Tilt Me Kip! And, I need more balls! I will take a moment to give my wallet sized photo of Nancy Reagan the bird before Kip comes back for more after bussing The Jenkins Twins Sweet Six Birthday Party table.

3:27 pm May, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Et Tu

.

I lost fair and square on our bet. Fuccen Drogba. Fuccen Schweinsteiger. Fuccen Robben. Robben that dumb fucker!

.

Send contact info and alcohol choice to gunnerbosox@gmail.com. All privacy issues will be respected. Especially for a fellow from the burgh of Pitts.

4:01 pm May, 19 hermit said...

@ Dr. Bunsen and Et tu

You Guys must be.trippin’ hard to be wagering on fütböl.

Meanwhile David Puddy is suffering hard after todays loss, ’cause he paints his face to, “support the team.”

.

“We’re the Deviiiiiils , the Deviiiiiils!!!!! Hissssssssssss!”

4:04 pm May, 19 hermit said...

My sobriety and avatar have left me.

.

.

All is lost.

5:44 pm May, 19 Anonymous said...

@Hermit, you’ll find both again. Circle of life.

6:20 pm May, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Hermit,et al,

I’m just a wagering fool, my tripping days are way behind me and by way behind I mean when Jerry died it just wasn’t the same.

7:05 pm May, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

I just noticed it says “nob” on douches shirt how fitting and i don’t mean the shirt itself.

8:08 pm May, 19 Anonymous said...

“Come On Dude, I’ll Jerk You Off!”

9:10 pm May, 19 Sofa King said...

Blue badonkadonk

Cremaster punch bursts his nads

Punchworthy duck face.

Too late for haiku? “Still Life With Douchebag” cried out for 5-7-5.

12:01 am May, 20 Morbo said...

@Troy Tempest 1:18 …

Meanwhile, Jimmy is reciting the sacred oath of the Pink Polo Lanterns:

“In brightest sun, in darkest club,

no slammin’ hottie shall escape my nub.

Let those who worship the porcelain god,

beware the power of my rod!”

4:06 am May, 20 CB Popped said...

God – Shaped Void – great band name.

11:52 am May, 21 DarkSock said...

Man…I was scared for a second. I though DS meant Dark Sock and, much like RevChad, I had no memory of writing such an epic rant. Son.

.

Congrats, The Other D.S.!

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