Friday, May 25, 2012

Friday Haiku

“I guess I could double

His fat, salt and carb intake”,

Jan sulked to herself…

All of Tony’s loot

Wasn’t enough to keep Jan

From boning his son

— saulgoode42

One million dollars

Each time I let this fat ass

On top of me. Woo!

— The Dude


This is what happens

When one wants to be the next

Anna Nicole Smith

— Charles Nelson Douchely

Money can’t buy love

But it can make a fat guy

Rich in blowies, Sons.

— Pooch Spackle

The remembers the

First time he mounted her. Her

Mons Pubis was crushed.

— v

Hide the Viagra

She thinks as he palms her ass

Holding back vomit

— Doucheywallnuts

She bangs really hard

Trying to loosen the stints

Heart bypass gold mine

— Vin Douchal

Money can’t buy love

But it can buy a tank top

that hides man teats. Hint.

— Pooch Spackle

Ahab did it wrong:

Best way to catch great white whale –

Spear him with whorepoon.

— Sir Huddleston Fuddleston

800 Euros

Buys you a Moldovan girl

Keep passport in safe

— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:30 am May, 25 saulgoode42 said...

All of Tony’s loot

Wasn’t enough to keep Jan

From boning his son

6:30 am May, 25 macfleckchoad said...

Travel ad saying

“Frolic with the whales” did not

Mention they were ‘bags.

6:31 am May, 25 The Dude said...

One million dollars

Each time I let this fat ass

On top of me. Woo!

6:32 am May, 25 Douche Wayne said...

Population of

endangered manatee

making strong comeback.

6:39 am May, 25 Douche Wayne said...

Jan soon found out that

sun, sand and surf don’t agree

with latex sex dolls.

6:39 am May, 25 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

This is what happens

When one wants to be the next

Anna Nicole Smith

6:41 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

DB1 and wife

Number 2 on vacation

Happy Birthday Guy!

6:51 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

^Change vacation to walkabout. Almost forgot about that little gem.

6:51 am May, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Ed McMahon’s corpse

Washes up. Jan sees dollars.

With Weekend at Ed’s.

6:51 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He hasn’t exhaled

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

6:54 am May, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Saulgoode is first/best!

Epic loot and bone Haiku.

For the Front Page win!

7:00 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The water was clear

Until she loosened the valve

On ostomy bag.

7:00 am May, 25 crazed aborigine said...

How do you like THIS,

Daddy who neglected me?

Shame is my veangeance.

7:01 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

Money can’t buy love

But it can make a fat guy

Rich in blowies, Sons.

7:01 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Meditteranean

Ads for Beano cause water

To carbonate.

7:03 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

When she changes his

Diaper she gets a little

Horny for father.

7:04 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The beach will bubble

With a putrid flow when the

Metamucil kicks in.

7:04 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He hasn’t shit once

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

7:05 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

When Captain Ahab

Finally caught her great white

whale. She hugged it first.

7:06 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hannibal Lectur

Prepares next victim for death.

Silence Of The Hams.

7:12 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

Cmon guys maybe

She likes him because he is

Funny and smart. Heh.

7:15 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

If it gets cold she

can crawl inside his giant

monkey hole for warmth.

7:16 am May, 25 ehcuodouche said...

It’s so sad the world

Doesn’t see him as he is

Fat, old meal ticket

7:25 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

“It’s okay babe. That

“No Fatties” Rule is only

on the S.S. Sock.

7:30 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She remembers the

First time he mounted her. Her

Mons Pubis was crushed.

7:31 am May, 25 icame isaw idouched said...

What

The

Fuck!

7:32 am May, 25 Doucheywallnuts said...

A big bank account

Off sets having big man boobs

In the “Land of Bleeth”

7:38 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

“Titanic 2: The

Iceberg Is Calling From In

Side The Boat” Scene 12

7:40 am May, 25 Doucheywallnuts said...

I am the Walrus

She’s a bleeth as you are me

We prove that Poo floats

7:42 am May, 25 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Gobal warming causes

confused Walrus to

wash up on Bond Girl set

7:43 am May, 25 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Global warming causes

confused Walrus to

wash up on Bond Girl set

7:44 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

After Leo D.

And Brady. Giselle slums it

with fat millionaire.

7:45 am May, 25 Doucheywallnuts said...

Hide the Viagra

She thinks as he palms her ass

Holding back vomit

7:47 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

How can we live in

a world where money is a

aphrodesiac?

7:49 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He made his fortune

With Kenny Rogers Roasters.

Then he ate Kenny.

7:50 am May, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Greek tycoon feasted

On too much calamari. Has

Tiny tenticle.

7:53 am May, 25 Los Douches said...

Old age creeping up

At night. No, not death’s sweet touch…

Daddy wants anal again.

8:07 am May, 25 Doucheywallnuts said...

Beneath water line

Lurks an awful, shriveled peen

Looking for piss flaps

8:10 am May, 25 The Dude said...

Dark Sock says he peed

In a belly button once

But this one’s too big.

8:10 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

Wonder if he saved

her from the clutches of a

‘nother rich douchebag

8:11 am May, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The Michelin Man

Scores groupie on Va-Cay. AND

8:11 am May, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Tire-tracked shorts come clean!

8:16 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

If you have sex with

her after him be prepared

to smell Ben-Gayed taint.

8:21 am May, 25 every which way but douche said...

Boys and Girls listen

This pic shows us why college

is so important

8:25 am May, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Some hot Euro tramp

Politi-dude, whatever

Facebook still sucks ass

8:26 am May, 25 Vin Douchal said...

She bangs really hard

Trying to loosen the stints

Heart bypass gold mine

8:30 am May, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Cognex for memory

Cialas for good “duro”

Still forgets her name

8:35 am May, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Kostas Largemanos

Wheeling, dealing ship builder

With trophy wife nine

8:39 am May, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Mons pubis signals

“Time of month” beacon for sharks

Peter Benchley smiles

8:43 am May, 25 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Jan bobs on his nob

She counts to herself each stroke

One two three euros

8:47 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

She ain’t messing with

no broke wiggas. She is mess-

ing with fat old guy.

8:52 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

On the set of the

sequel to “10”. Dudley is

so Moore than before.

9:00 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

If I had a dime

for everytime I banged a

rich man. I’d be broke.

9:04 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

Money can’t buy love

But it can buy a tank top

that hides man teats. Hint.

9:13 am May, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I couldn’t look away,

“My eyes, my eyes”

And Jesus wept.

9:15 am May, 25 Douche Moore said...

Wealthy Whale Creatures

In the Autum of their lives

Need love too

9:17 am May, 25 Douche Moore said...

She clings lightly to him

posing with obvious distain

thinking how tragic it would be to die first

9:25 am May, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Flavio Briatore

Elisabetta Gregoraci

Too many syllables for the Mediterranean douche whistles.

9:28 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

Hes not fat. He is

carrying their baby made

of pure gold. Ka-ching!

9:28 am May, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Would you believe that

This oil slick of douche also

Fucked Heidi Klum, son?

9:33 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

^Wait wha? And yes, I believe anything I read in the haikus. Especially my stuff.

9:37 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

@McCrudeshoes, Sorry, what I meant to say is, I believe it she fucked a Seal, not hard to believe she would fuck a whale too. Please accept my apologies for the lag time between your comment and my zippy comeback.

9:57 am May, 25 FoghornLeghorn said...

My momma told me,

“Money can’t buy happiness”.

But it buys fine tail.

10:00 am May, 25 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Gut Cassidy and

The Sundance Gold-digger. Wait –

I know how this ends.

10:03 am May, 25 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

He checks, all ok now:

Viagra suppos’tories

Still wedged in butt crack.

10:05 am May, 25 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Momma don’t let your

babies grow up to be whores:

Might pick step-father!

10:10 am May, 25 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Ahab did it wrong:

Best way to catch great white whale —

Spear him with whorepoon.

10:12 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

“Wanna see my yacht?”

It sounded like harmless fun

Now she’s held hostage

10:13 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Little does she know

His will has been finalized

She isn’t in it

10:15 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

800 Euros

Buys you a Moldovan girl

Keep passport in safe

10:18 am May, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait! No Front Page, yet?

This ain’t goin’ to Sunday?

Sock in boat or horse?

10:19 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

Later tonight when

Asked for the password, he will

Say “Fidelio”

10:20 am May, 25 troy tempest said...

a fat billionaire

and a skanky trophy wife:

why the world sucks.

10:24 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

A billion euros

And a Gulfstream, she still won’t

Enjoy fucking him

10:26 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

When Baron DeDouche

Tires of the latest model

She O.D.s and dies

10:27 am May, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Jan swallows the bile

Of workin’ for a livin’

‘Splains her skin color.

10:28 am May, 25 Ich verstehe sie ist heiß said...

After Greek crisis

Douchebag bankers buy islands

Complete with hot chicks

10:40 am May, 25 Pooch Spackle said...

@FDR why

don’t you pick the winners since

you don’t have a job.

11:35 am May, 25 Jeet Kune Douche said...

The God of ‘Tang

Bulging Stomach and Gray hair

Hawt Draped Upon Him

Sorry, gents, but this guy is PURE ALPHA. In fact – he is an ALPHA MASTER.

12:14 pm May, 25 Wheezer said...

STUPID fuccen WORK!

This would’ve provided me

shitloads of fun, brahs!

12:18 pm May, 25 Wheezer said...

“Look at what I get

to hit ev’ry night!: Him: “Her.”

Her: “That fat…..wallet.”

12:21 pm May, 25 Wheezer said...

His credit cards have

upper limits. My disgust,

on the other hand…..

2:57 pm May, 25 Wheezer said...

Golddigger ass pear…..

boning Flabbio’s a tough

sin to overcome.

9:54 pm May, 25 missy said...

HEIDI KLUM had a kid with this fat disgusting bloke… look it up. All true.

9:36 pm May, 27 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

It would appear that this, his current wife, is no stranger to the “pay for play” game. From wikipedia:

Gregoraci gained notoriety when it came to light that she had offered sexual favours in return for a job as a showgirl for the Italian national public television company RAI. She was fired from RAI and hired by Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, acting as a hostess in the show Buona Domenica

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