Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Guppyhead Swims the English Chanelle

Way back in the halcyon days of HCwDB, we featured the Douchey Award winning The Blowfish. Tiny mouth. Creepy facial hair. Tasty hotts. Enormous douchefactor.

Here I decree the Guppyhead.

Count up the ‘bag factors: Creepy fishmouth. Faux. White sunglasses in shorts. ‘Roid addiction.

Then there’s English Chanelle. Curvy. Untatted. Slightly insecure about her looks. Maybe not A level hott, but more than making up for it by resisting the Guppy’s embrace. I’m going with it. She’s sorts of room service wrongness that’s oh so right. I slap a barnacle on a steamboat, and pinch a boobuous butt fondle in the snowflake sunshine of slappy slapp.

# posted by douchebag1
12:23 pm May, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Nipple clevis’ for a new low.

The Omega Douche

12:24 pm May, 23 fatness said...

Guppyhead has nip rings.

.

All the better to hook him up to the ’65 Dodge’s ignition system and redline the engine.

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Chanelle’s left boob will never be the same.

12:33 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I show Mrs. Kroeger this stuff and she just can’t figure out why any woman would want to be that close to an impotent, sterile, moron with a self-esteem issue.

12:38 pm May, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

His bulging, brotein infused arm veins are going to rupture with just one more set of curls.

12:58 pm May, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

♫You’re so vein, you probably think this song is about you

You’re so vein, I’ll bet you think this song is about you

Don’t you? Don’t You?♫

1:04 pm May, 23 troy tempest said...

He’s so roided out his fully erect peen is the size of an acorn.

1:08 pm May, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Give him a break, he chews Kodiak, just like me. However, I can hit the outside breaking pitch

.

.

Podsednicks

1:34 pm May, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Magnum loves the slight sag reveal of Chanelle’s natural b-cups.

.

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Bag needs a barb wire tatt on the left arm and some lame, cliched saying scripted in tatt across his chest and he’s have the look completed.

1:40 pm May, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wow we have Guppyhead and earlier we had dancing fish and then Vin D shared some fish slapping and I invoked Fish Slap. I can almost smell Revere Beach at low tide through my monitor and that’s just English Chanelles gash channel.

.

Pescadors

2:07 pm May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

HGH is the new steroids.

2:14 pm May, 23 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Looks like Jeter has gone douche

2:23 pm May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I might shave my head tonight.

2:48 pm May, 23 Pooch Spackle said...

Does halcyon mean the same thing as relevant? My transpooter is broken or else I would look it up on Googles.

3:35 pm May, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Nipple rings are the new tattoos.

5:43 pm May, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Veins are the new abs.

6:00 pm May, 23 troy tempest said...

smirk is the new smile.

6:06 pm May, 23 Stephanie said...

White sunglasses where your manhood was is the new penis.

6:07 pm May, 23 Stephanie said...

Who would trade their penis for a larger roided body?

6:10 pm May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Guppyhead is the new Explosive Diarrhea.

6:13 pm May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Mushy bottle blonds are the new mushy bottle blondes.

6:30 pm May, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Swishy lips are the new cunt rag

6:36 pm May, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Marty Brodeur is the new Donkey Douche

6:41 pm May, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Chanelle causes me to question everything I know about female physiology. Do boobs belong in the front or under the arms? Should they be flat or round? Should the nipples point in the same direction? While Chanelle might have a tough time finding a bra, wearing a backpack must be a breeze.

6:51 pm May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Body dysmorphic disorder is the new self-confidence.

6:52 pm May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Phillip Phillips is the new American Idol.

7:07 pm May, 23 DarkSock said...

I would like to write my name in yogurt cursive, 24 font, across English Chanelle’s loverly tummy area.

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With my Meat Pen.

8:24 pm May, 23 Sofa King said...

I asked Sofa Queen to free associate this image, and the result was: phlegm, K-Y, Preparation H and porch beef. Not necessarily in that order.

8:49 pm May, 23 troy tempest said...

He has to cover his chest in oil all the time. Otherwise his nipple rings squeak.

9:19 pm May, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Guppyhead speaks all 17 dialects of Groo.

5:21 am May, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

Yogurt Cursive is the new Comic Sans.

5:57 am May, 24 Vin Douchal said...

“Groo” is the new “Dy-no-MITE”

6:13 am May, 24 Et Tu Douche? said...

Rev Chad is the new Tommy Chong

6:23 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

DB1 is the new Ambrose Bierce

6:25 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Armani Exchange is the new Chess King

6:26 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Bovine Growth Hormone is the new Tang

7:17 am May, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

Anal sex is the new third base.

7:43 am May, 24 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

@DW, so what’s home plate? Munging?

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