Wednesday, May 23, 2012

HCwDB of the Month: Orangudan and Vegas Kim

In the end, there’s no beating orange ‘roided tattpocalypse, whitehead, douche everything, idiocracy in presence of sexy Quartasian Vegas funbouncery.

The voters speak:

Magnum Douche P.I.: Orangudan if only for horrible tatts and the sheer size of his HGH enlarged cranium, but yet there is so much more. Vegas Kim does not appear to be fully bleethed, there is hope for her. If a couple more pictures of these two surface, I do believe they can compete for a 2012 Douchie.

I R A Darth Aggie: I scrolled down, but stopped at Orangudung. He is the clear loser. Vegas Kim is a clear hott. So are the other lovelies in this monthly, but the stench that is Orangudung is over powering.

Dude McCrudeshoes: Orangudan for teaching us that the trapezius bone is connected to the enlarged cranium bone. Remember, kids, keep your body orange and your scalp shiny white. If you don’t look like a creamsicle, you are doing it wrong.

CB Popped: Orangutan is making me want to rip my eyeballs out, and Vegas chick is a sleeper cutie. Orangutan, done.

troy tempest: Orangudan FTL. Eventually, the beer and burgers will get to him, and he’ll have to lay off the roids if he has any hope of keeping his undercarriage hung at a size greater than squirrel. When that happens, he’ll be in with the likes of Cro Bagnon (bless his retarded soul) and then he’ll get a desk job and turn to flab. Oozing into his seersucker suit, a thought will float to the top of the vomit tank that he calls his brain, and it will be “GROOOOO”.

ehcuodouche: Didn’t we learn anything from Barry Bonds?

Hermit: His oily skin exudes a constant trickle of horse steroids, insecurity and Bud Lite Lime, staining his nylon shorts and coagulating between his wrist and watchband. He will fight a lifetime losing battle with STD’s and sagging breasts.

Charles Douchewin: The Orangudan has distorted reality, (and Kim) around himself – much like space-time – to become tough to look at, and even tougher to comprehend. Does that tattoo say compost?

It was an orangeslide, but The Bishop and Homegrown Hannah did get some support:

Et tu, Douche?: he Bishop and Homegrown Hannah’s B( . )( . )B’s FTW. And by for the win I mean those jugs have fun written all over them preferably with my man spackle.

Douche Springsteen: I’m a big fan of the Girl Next Door With Huge Cans thing.

John Largeman’s Cheeseburger: I just noticed in the The Bishop and Homegrown Hannah pic that the sign in the background says Pearl. I bet those glorious TaTas would look good with a long dangling Pearl Necklace.

The mockworthy Aqua Vulva and A+ level hott British Sexy Sophia didn’t get too many votes, nor did The Voguegina and Furry Amanda. Both are toxic HCwDB, but when competing with funbags or Orangeturd, it t’was no compete a’tall. I’m talking British. I don’t know why. Lets let Capt. James T. Douche take us home:

my vote goes to the Orangudan and Vegas Kim, they give you the most douche for your buck. Radioactive/liver failure orange skin, dalmation tattoos, a fuggin’ pterodactyl holding a shield, phrase tat on the gut, semi-roided up frame, aggressive posturing, a wrist watch the size of the clock from Back to The Future, Vegas pool party, refillable cup with watered down overpriced drinks, artificially inflated cans, lower lip skid mark, the list goes on like the digits of Pi.

# posted by douchebag1
7:48 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big Plinky’s mom planks on it.

7:48 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big he rents the upper half out to NORAD for a radar enclosure.

7:49 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big there are fat kids orbiting it.

7:49 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big he rides his Huffy mountain bike he got at Wal-Mart for $74.99 up and down it.

7:50 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big he headbutts sand to make skate parks.

7:50 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big it’s my cockk’s twin.

7:51 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big he dislocated Vegas Kim’s hip sockets trying to give her head.

7:51 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big his scalp can actually pass its own gas.

7:51 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big he is unable to swim.

7:52 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big Patrick Stewart uses it as a travel case for his head.

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What?

7:53 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big his lower body has never felt rainfall.

7:54 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big he can only ride in convertibles.

7:54 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big his dander cuts people.

7:57 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big his mother’s vagina looks like a giant wallet fashioned out of deli ham by a special needs child.

7:57 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big it has weather.

7:57 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big when he dives into the Rehab pool it overflows.

7:58 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big his glasses are made by AMC Pacer.

7:58 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big his eating utensils are hydraulic.

7:58 am May, 23 DarkSock said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big it has a front porch.

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Stocked with beef.

8:08 am May, 23 douchebag1 said...

Just you ‘n me, Sock. Lets get a beer.

8:11 am May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Orangudan’s head is so big he filed a copyright infringement suit against Max Headroom.

8:23 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Orangudan’s head is so big he stores Robert Moog’s cryogenic head in his frontal lobe.

8:24 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Orangudan’s head is so big his lice drive Smart cars.

8:25 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Orangudan’s head is so big he picks his nose with Newt Gingrich.

8:25 am May, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Now we know what was really causing the eclipse this past week.

8:26 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Orangudan’s head is so big he smells continental drift.l

8:26 am May, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

If you speak into his ear you can hear it echo.

8:27 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Orangudan’s head is so big he eats Palins for breakfast.

8:30 am May, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He gives Vegas Kim dome when he goes downtown.

8:36 am May, 23 Pooch Spackle said...

Orangudan’s head is so big it distracted me from his jizz stained shorts. And I usually go groin to head when I’m checking out dudes. It’s all part of my 3 step system.

8:43 am May, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

A few years from now when the orange sasquatchs ticker pops from steroid and energy drink overload his perfectly polished melon will be partially submerged in a coral reef in the south Pacific to establish the nation of Douchetopia upon where Chancellor Grieco shall plant the flag of Choad and the Nation of Scrote shall rise from the sea.

9:30 am May, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kim rides Orangudan’s cranium like a glossy white Sybian.

10:07 am May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Oratnudan’s head is so big that all of the gabiles shaven off of all the zools – zools, I says – of all the broads at the Miami Shaving Orgy, wouldn’t cover it.

10:08 am May, 23 Ted Brogan said...

Rockin’ body and nice implants. But beware the sunglasses.

10:12 am May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

I find it interesting that my spell correct saw fit to change Orangudan to Oratnudan. I think my auto correct has been partying with Rev Chad.

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Sons

10:42 am May, 23 Doucheywallnuts said...

Orangudan’s head is so big, he doesn’t give head, head gives him.

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Wait, what?

12:06 pm May, 23 Wheezer said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big, he has to borrow Samurai Scrote’s garden hose for use as a headband.

1:02 pm May, 23 troy tempest said...

Orangudan’s cranium is so big, his brains roll around like BBs in a boxcar.

1:03 pm May, 23 troy tempest said...

or is that because his brains are so small? I fergit.

3:53 pm May, 23 Pooch Spackle said...

Dude bros, I need some tech support. Im trying to get this guy I like to ask me out, but he’s shy. He’s big into computers though. He’s always telling me to Google stuff. If I told him to Google his balls do you think he would take it the wrong way?

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