Monday, May 21, 2012

Jack Largeman and Paid-to-Reveal Kourtney Voted in the HCwDB of the Month

In a related story: Jewschbags. Or, to paraphrase Hannah Arendt, The Banality of Weevils.

# posted by douchebag1
12:30 pm May, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Mr. Largeman looks like he ate one too many of the hot wings at the Pink Pony’s free buffet.

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Indigestion.

12:32 pm May, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Kourtney’s body appears to be completely lacking any feminine qualities.

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transgender

12:35 pm May, 21 ChestBrah said...

Just so you know there is nothing wrong or gay with what’s going on in the Jewschbags picture. It’s perfectly normal for 2 men to pose in a hotel room bathroom admiring their puffiness.

12:36 pm May, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Largeman looks like Vince Vaughn’s younger brother with an anxiety disorder.

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Largeman was certain she said, “Herbie’s Cineplex #2” but now that he can’t find it on any map, he’s growing agitated.

12:37 pm May, 21 Douche Springsteen said...

Jewschbag’s bubbeh needs to give him a healthy dose of Semitic guilt to get him to dress like a decent man. I hear that shit is even more potent than the Catholic brand.

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molested altar boys

12:40 pm May, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Photographer: “Ok. Smile for the camera. Shoot. Let’s try again, aaaand Smile! OK, one more time. 1 – 2 – 3 – smile! … Awwww fuck it.”

12:42 pm May, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Bubba The Large Sponge

12:42 pm May, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Jewschbag’s can’t get tattooed cuz then they have to get buried in a lead box underneath the sewage plant. Plus bling costs $$$. The answer: insta-douche T-shirts.

12:46 pm May, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

re: Jewchbag #1: that’s a lot of matzah. And by matzah I mean Hezekiah Largestein.

12:49 pm May, 21 Stephanie said...

John lay off of the all you can eat places for a little while.And blue eyeshadow is so bad,girl. You’re one step away from clown make-up.

12:50 pm May, 21 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

If there was a job called Psychedelic Stripper Stewardess, Kourtney would be their poster girl.

2:14 pm May, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Kourtney looks like she’s about 3 days away from being in a Max Hardcore video.

2:18 pm May, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

“Widows Peak” Largeman took 2nd place in a Josh Duhamel look alike contest by 60 pounds!! Nurse get that man an extra large bottle of Pepto and some ginger ale.

2:29 pm May, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I dunno. I’d give him a notta. He’s a big guy, sure but no douchieness other than the hair. Now the Jewschbags, oy vey! I think their blood type is manischewitz and the rest of them is made out of teiglach. I would make a bad oven joke here (thank God the dough won’t rise!) but somethings are a little too poor in taste…

2:42 pm May, 21 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Isn’t AXE considered un-kosher?

3:14 pm May, 21 Tanath said...

I’m letting him pass…it’s not easy being the large man in a room full of douche and he’s trying…but not too hard…go in peace…and consume…

4:35 pm May, 21 Fergie said...

Notta douche.

4:39 pm May, 21 Fergie said...

Jewschbags are the worst. No pass for them.

4:52 pm May, 21 eyedouche said...

Complete lack of Boobs. Nada. Nothing. 2×4 flat. Not even a speed bump.

5:11 pm May, 21 Ted Brogan said...

Nice beard, jerk.

5:26 pm May, 21 Pooch Spackle said...

I bet she has an excellent sense of humor.

5:55 pm May, 21 Anonymous said...

She might be a great pencil sharpner

6:17 pm May, 21 Pooch Spackle said...

Maxim’s Top 100 Hotts where announced. Now there’s a magazine that knows how to rate women. Kinda like the Hall of Hott but for the pros. Except unlike the Hall of Hott freshies and semi-freshies get picked at least once a year. I mean seriously, I think I saw a tumbleweed roll through the HOH the other day.

6:59 pm May, 21 Doucheywallnuts said...

He looks like he’s fighting back the urge to shit his pants and she is post 3-pregnancies paunchy with the abdominal skin elasticity of a menopausal matron.

7:21 pm May, 21 troy tempest said...

She looks like a bukkake star.

8:11 pm May, 21 Pooch Spackle said...

How can we live in a world where only one person has called out tranny? I mean someone went as far as accusing this supposed woman of having up to three children which would imply the possession of an actual uterus. Can someone please confirm that Plinky’s Mom is still obese or else I’m not really sure I’m in Kansas.

8:34 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat, Margaret Thatcher’s corpse is her clitoris.

8:34 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she uses Buicks as tampons.

8:35 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her blood type is Helman’s.

8:35 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she gets a lawn service to do her Brazilians.

8:36 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat an overzealous neighborhood watch member shot her clitoris for wearing a big hoodie.

8:36 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her bicycle seat is a Volkswagon.

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Farfucknewguns…

8:37 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she can only orgasm with the lunar cycles.

8:37 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her pubic hair is managed by Weyerhauser.

8:37 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she uses John Largeman Sr.’s corpse as a butt plug.

8:38 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she ate Chris Farley whilst attending his wake.

8:38 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she uses a fax machine from the 90’s as toilet paper.

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OK…the Ambien’s kickin’ in…better go now.

8:39 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she has Apollo Space capsules as blackheads on her buttocks.

8:40 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she fucked the horse she rode in on, and then ate it.

8:41 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Popcorn comes in small, medium, large, My Dick, and Plinky’s Mom’s left labia flap (northwestern vertical face).

8:41 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her asshole is a go-cart.

8:42 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat when she farts couches fly out.

8:42 pm May, 21 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat John Deere does her abortions.

8:59 pm May, 21 Little Willie said...

Vince D’Onofrio’s retarded brother wandered out of the institution again. He’s overdue for his tranquilizers and other drugs that keep him from freaking out and going off the deep end. Flat chested Courtney doesn’t look too bad for a tranny and I wouldn’t be surprised if “she” didn’t have a big wiener tucked in underneath.

3:51 am May, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat that when she waxes her bikini area it reduces the planet’s oxygen supply.

3:52 am May, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her toilet is the Rose Bowl.

4:12 am May, 22 Et Tu Douche? said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she considers Jack Largeman a midget.

4:40 am May, 22 CB Popped said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she uses Peterbilt truck grilles for dinner ware.

4:44 am May, 22 CB Popped said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fucking fat she uses NYC double sized commuter buses for a vibrators.

http://gothamist.com/2012/04/18/three_doors_one_bus_mta_adds_more_3.php

4:45 am May, 22 CB Popped said...

Plinky’s Mom is so dangerously fucking fat she uses a local car wash as a shower stall.

5:02 am May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It was hot like fucking hot here for our Victoria Day weekend. A weekend when, weather permitting, the twenty million white people in Canada turn from white to red in three days and ignore an ancient queen’s birthday to get drunk and grill.

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I spent so much time outside the weed was working double time. After a day of pouring concrete I fell asleep watching the Addam’s Family after seeing the end Mr. Holland’s Opus. My sunstriking dreams were so bizarre that I woke up in cold sweats with Aloe Vera cream on my boner after pummeling Olympia Dukakis and Angelica Huston with my my double-ended cock that had taken the form of a 10 inch sonotube.

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Plinky’s Mom is so fat she cooks toast with her breath.

5:47 am May, 22 Evil Ted said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat her looks like a giant squid having a seizure.

5:47 am May, 22 Evil Ted said...

^labia

6:23 am May, 22 Pooch Spackle said...

Newt Gingrich would have won the Republican nomination if he had proposed colonizing Plinky’s Mom instead of the moon.

6:23 am May, 22 Los Douches said...

He’s got bigger tits than “she” does.

6:24 am May, 22 Pooch Spackle said...

That wasn’t a solar eclipse last weekend that was Plinky’s Mom fucking the Sun.

6:25 am May, 22 Pooch Spackle said...

Sons.

6:27 am May, 22 Pooch Spackle said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat.

6:49 am May, 22 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Give her moar money, so we can have moar reveal!

6:50 am May, 22 DarkSock said...

Son.

7:51 pm May, 22 Sofa King said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat they used her placenta for a beer tent…and her blood type is “Gravy”.

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