Sunday, May 27, 2012

Jersey Shore Shark Attack

Just when you thought it was safe to watch the SyFy Channel…

# posted by douchebag1
8:30 am May, 27 troy tempest said...

Shoot. Bullets. At something underwater. Where the bullet slows down so much you can actually see it. Basically, if you are more than a meter underwater, most bullets can’t hurt you. So, shooting at something underwater is a complete waste of time and ammo.Here’s mythbusters with a 50cal snpier rifle – one of the most powerful rifles ever built – you would only need to be 14 inches under water to be safe from this thing.

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SCIENCE!

8:46 am May, 27 alex milstein said...

Joey Fatone I can understand. Even Jack Scalia. But what in god’s name are Paul Sorvino and William Atherton doing in this thing? I guess it’s money, but don’t they have any pride? And Pauly Walnuts and the other Sopranos guy? Imagine the calls from their agents,,,

9:04 am May, 27 Pooch Spackle said...

This looks bad. And not even good bad like “Manos”. It looks bad bad. Not good. But that robot shark ain’t a bad douche hunter. Lance Bass gets to go to the moon and Joey Fat One is making B movie schlock. Life just aint fair I tells ya. Or is it?

10:16 am May, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Nice CGI. Did they get an eight-year-old to work Adobe After Effects for them or something?

10:30 am May, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Even the trailer has plot holes.

10:49 am May, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

Douchey Walnuts has a lot answering to do. I’m wondering if he banged any of the extras in his capacity of assistant associate to the key grip.

11:42 am May, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So, who up for training some REAL sharks? Huh, huh? C’mon, like theirs anybody who doesn’t think this ISN’T a good idea?

11:46 am May, 27 The Dude said...

Is there a chance that sharks could eat the Jersey douchebags? I’m rooting for the sharks.

12:39 pm May, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I have no recollection of ever taking part in such asshattery. Asshattery, I says. Now I must make sure that Mrs. Wallnuts does not see this.

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That Paul Sorvino had some big breasts.

1:41 pm May, 27 Pooch Spackle said...

@Doc B, after I finish my mind control experiment here, I’m going to try my hand at aquatic life puppetry. Shouldnt be that much different. Except the reward will be actual AssPear instead of a picture of one.

2:02 pm May, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

On this Memorial Day of yours (respect) I think we should remember the once mighty British Army.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Mons

2:24 pm May, 27 Pooch Spackle said...

@tall guy, don’t hate, congratulate and then please move on. Uneducated Sheilas are starved for your trim and aesthetic prose. Not good talking to you again.

2:34 pm May, 27 The Dude said...

Pooch, do I need to save up for a plane ticket and hunt this tall guy down? c’mon, we’ve got douchebags to mock here!

2:41 pm May, 27 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Watched this twice, once with the sound off, once with the sound on it didn’t make a difference.

2:52 pm May, 27 Pooch Spackle said...

@The Dude, you’re right. I’ve really gotta stop mainlining vengeance for breakfast. It unhealthier than ham but twice as tasty. Back to training the local sharks to attack height enhanced gentlemen who bore me. And then maybe a brisk walk for some fresh air.

3:02 pm May, 27 troy tempest said...

Jersey Shore Shark Attack meets the internet Snark Attack.

3:40 pm May, 27 Douchble Helix said...

Maybe a meteor will kill everyone.

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“GET THESE M-F-ING SNAKES OFF DIS M-F-ING PLANE!!!”

4:56 pm May, 27 BlaqkJax21 said...

This shark should be the winner of the fish for humanity and community service award for 2012.

5:22 pm May, 27 Pooch Spackle said...

@Troy, Re: Snark Attack, brilliant beyond brilliant. I hate that you thought of it before me. Um, in laymen’s terms, nicely played.

7:30 pm May, 27 skrag2112 said...

The sharks eat the douchebags and the sharks die from the STDs. Its a win/win situation for all of us.

9:42 pm May, 27 Pooch Spackle said...

@droll guy 8:42p, I paid my own way through college champ. But thanks anyways. I’ll be sure to let my Pops know some tall freak on the internet is obsessed with him and calls him Dadio. You’ll be like the weird uncle he never wanted.

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Really? Is this all there is?

10:14 pm May, 27 short guy said...

This is all very amusing to some I’m sure, but I personally am not interested in internet troll bickerings, as they usually involve two parties with low self-esteem issues trying to make themselves feel better by out-insulting the other.

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Do you two have anything better to do, or are you so pathetic that you waste this much energy trying to call out a person you don’t know but arbitrarily hold so little regard for? If you met at random tomorrow, chances are you wouldn’t recognize each other even after talking for hours – unless the subject of “what immature moniker do I use when blogging” – because the front you put up in the blogosphere is created from a false sense of empowerment garnered from the anonymity of the format which you would never display in real life situations.

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Grow up.

10:16 pm May, 27 average height guy said...

Go shave your back short guy. Remember kiddies, don’t feed the trolls.

11:15 pm May, 27 The Dude ~in a shark suit~ said...

*burrp*

5:19 am May, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

@short guy

Well said sir!!!

5:57 am May, 28 Doucheywallnuts said...

Wait, so on the Internets sometimes people pretend to be somebody they are not or have multiple personas?

7:16 am May, 28 Pooch Spackle said...

@Nancy Dreuche 10:14a erm short guy, nicely played. You truly are a mastermind of disguise.

9:05 am May, 28 Tattsiana Groinshavia said...

I’m confused as to who is who and who’s being trolled? I come here for the mock of douche (and some tasty battered flake). But I find myself surrounded by people of different heights variously mocking dog ejaculate (pooch spackle?) and fictional teenage sleuths (and I’m not talking about the Ed Hardy Boys)… I liked it when Tall People and Nancies got along and the douche was mutually mocked.

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Anyone Carolyn Keene to Franklin W. my Dixon?

9:08 am May, 28 Tattsiana Groinshavia said...

@DW 5:57am:

When I grew up the 3 Billy Goats Gruff were the only ones getting trolled.

9:12 am May, 28 Jacques' Mom said...

What’s this “troll” you all speak of?

9:18 am May, 28 Tattsiana Groinshavia said...

I was wondering what this troll thing was too. That was until I read:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Troll

9:23 am May, 28 Adolf Skroatler said...

This movie must of cost TENS OF DOLLARS to make.

9:40 am May, 28 troll boy said...

I like trolls

9:49 am May, 28 Sir Douche said...

I can’t wait to see this movie!! See it go down the toilet!

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