Thursday, May 24, 2012

Smarmy Moe

Smarmy Moe: Challo! Do you like my Corsican accent? It is like the Dos Equis Man, no?

Kimberly: Who?

Smarmy Moe: You know, the Most Interesting Man in the World?

Kimberly: Who?

Smarmy Moe: Would you like to touch my peen later?

Kimberly: What?

Smarmy Moe: I’m referring to intercourse.

Kimberly: Inter-what?

Smarmy Moe: Nevermind. Another Cosmo?

Kimberly: (giggling) Sure!

And… scene.

# posted by douchebag1
7:01 am May, 24 troy tempest said...

You want to fucc with your head big time? Read the above while listening to Meillassoux lecture on Melarme…

7:07 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

There are only two types of guys that wear nose rings: Barbary Pirates, and guys that lurk in bus station rest rooms fluttering their eyelashes at the dudes who come in to pee.

7:13 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kimberly has the thin lips, dull eyes, limp hair, and pallid complexion of an Albanian glory hole technician.

7:15 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

There seems to be some type of pink apocalypse taking place in the background.

7:19 am May, 24 DarkSock said...

Meanwhile that damned RevChad has me hooked on mons pubis because of his link a couple of posts back.
.
Mons.
adsf

7:37 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Mons is the new lost city of gold

7:41 am May, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

Mons is the new Pear.

7:42 am May, 24 Doucheywallnuts said...

Kimberly’s off-kilter duck lips has made me vomit in my pants.

7:43 am May, 24 Pooch Spackle said...

I’m hoping that glass they’re both holding onto intently contains Jonestown-Aid. Go towards the pink lights you two.

7:44 am May, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her mons pubis is like long sobs of autumn violins which wound my heart with monotonous langour.

.

He is “The Longest Douchebag”.

.

.

Junos

7:47 am May, 24 Pooch Spackle said...

Mons-umental DarkSock. Youve deMonstrated a keen eye for exceptional bikini hamster.

7:58 am May, 24 Pooch Spackle said...

Okay obviously this place could use some new ideas to get it back to the site it used to be. Here’s what I’m thinkin’. Pull up a chair and let me rap at cha for a minute. Picture it, Hall of Mons. Wall to wall meat curtains my good men. We ran some preliminary tests with some focus groups (we=me and the neighbors cat, focus groups=the closing crew at Pizza Hut.) and the results are in. VagPear is very hot right now with the 18 to 33 year olds.

8:04 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I zoomed in on Sock’s mons… well his pic anyway… and I saw god tap dancing with Sammy Davis Jr. while pantomiming the secret of the universe.

8:08 am May, 24 Pooch Spackle said...

If you don’t end up doing that you could just go the alternate route and re-title this place 50ShadesofGay.com. Let’s be real, that’s where its headed unless we do something quick-like.

8:45 am May, 24 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of focus groups:

.

9:08 am May, 24 Douchble Helix said...

I think in this case the girl’s duck face is much appreciated.

9:19 am May, 24 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

All you hatters be crazy: big eyes, big nose, big breasts, brunette, pre-puckered — this girl’s got it all.

9:29 am May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^if by got it all you mean herpes simplex A thru G, then yeah.

12:09 pm May, 24 fatness said...

She looks like my interior decorator.

.

He looks like something we found rotting behind the furnace.

12:09 pm May, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Dude McC

.

Are there multiple franchises in Albania that teach young girls how to be glory hole techs? If not, then I think we need to form a business plan and we should sign Kimberly here up as our “head” teacher. We could make hundreds I tells ya!

1:10 pm May, 24 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Bunsen, I’m in. We should sign a Pareto partnership agreement. You put up 80% and take back 20% ownership.

1:29 pm May, 24 army (ret) douche said...

i swear i recognize that girl from somewhere… but where… and in what capacity…?

1:55 pm May, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Dude

.

I’ll put up 80% in euros and get my 20% back in U.S.dollars. At least I break even that way, right?

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