Thursday, May 31, 2012

Sweater Man Twists

There’s nothing wrong with this guy other than some bad 80s J.C. Penny and his penchant for embarrassing Vanessa.

In fact, Sweater Man, like Cheeto Man before him, may bat for the home team. So lets wish him well with a notta and a goinpeace, even if his face is kinda creepin’ me out.

Time for a Lookinforcosmopear chaser.

# posted by douchebag1
11:37 am May, 31 John Paul Jesus, Gangster Pope of SoMa said...

The old ‘please excuse my downy soft mons on your glistening thigh, I’m just reaching for my copy of Sapphic Erotica’ move

11:39 am May, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This guy makes me want to overdose on bath salts so that I could eat off his face and kill him in a zombie rage.

11:39 am May, 31 Jeet Kune Douche said...

I can’t escape the impression that Sweater Man is getting cornholed by Vanessa who is wearing a ginormous obsidian strapon she lovingly calls “The Anaconda.”

11:48 am May, 31 John Paul Jesus, Gangster Pope of SoMa said...

The thing that bugs me most about this picture is that I can’t tell if the ginger amazon is hot or not. The photographer is using some sort of girth hiding lens.

11:49 am May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

If Screech and The Situation fucked the same L.L. Bean sweater, this is what their kid would look like. Because that is how babies are made.

11:49 am May, 31 Baron Von Goolo said...

There is no way, no context, no fan-fiction-alternate-reality-jerkfest where Screech lands Connie Britton caliber tail.

.

No.

11:51 am May, 31 Baron Von Goolo said...

COCK! Jazz Hands got the first Screech reference in. Second place is just a polite term for failure.

11:52 am May, 31 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I hope everyone is stocking up on canned goods because the zombie apocalypse is here. And for the record, Sweater Man can be considered canned goods (bads).

.

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2012/05/31/man-denied-bail-after-dismembered-body-parts-found-in-home/

11:53 am May, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This guy makes me so angry I want to cut off his limbs and fuck the hole where his throat used to be. That sounds gay.

11:54 am May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

And yes, it is gay, even if its a woman. Next question please.

11:59 am May, 31 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I say no pass for this herpster douchebag, and he’s an unattractive one at that.

12:09 pm May, 31 John Paul Jesus, Gangster Pope of SoMa said...

Debra Messing shows Jason Biggs how it feels to buy Facebook at $45 per share.

12:23 pm May, 31 Et Tu Douche? said...

You are all missing the big picture here and that is Lookinforcosmopear, The pear is nice but what really peaks my interest is tramp stamp susie in red bikini. I love that type of presentation plus she’s a tad sloppy and in my book that means she’s a gamer.

12:24 pm May, 31 Et Tu Douche? said...

The Eagle has landed that being said Doc Bunsen is the MAN!!!

1:05 pm May, 31 Stephanie said...

A photo for a new comedy show no doubt. A comedy show that’s not really funny.

1:21 pm May, 31 Vin Douchal said...

I know what he’s twisting because that’s the same posture and facial expression I make when I eliminate a swirly of next-day King Taco.

.

King Taco Red Sauce: the gift that gives twice

1:48 pm May, 31 Capt. James T. Douche said...

“That’s how you give a pelvic exam, know what I sayin’??”

1:56 pm May, 31 Vin Douchal said...

@ Jacques Douchteau

.

.

RE: Troy’s List of Hits

.

You couldn’t be more wrong about 70’s music. Yes, disco came out of the end of that era and shit like ABBA made the ears bleed…. Top 40 always sucks

.

BUT

.

There has never been a more influential and progressive time for popular music in the past century than from 1965 to 1977.

.

(Trying not to name drop but) Rock splintered into some great sub-genres by incredible and talented musicians the likes of since have not been equaled since but frequently imitated

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Not to mention the explosion/use of equipment like guitar distortion boxes, synths, tube/condensor mic’s and better studio equipment to capture stereo imaging which allowed the great engineer/producers to wow the headphones. Don’t even get me started on concert production

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Rock has been dead for over 25 years thanks to MTV, club music and Rap but the good old fashion formula (Verse-Chorus- Verse-Solo-Chorus-Out) is being kept alive in middle america by Alt-Country and Americana outifts and the occassional delusional Euro ( See: Kaipa, Porcupine Tree, Tim Christensen or Unitopia).

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There are places to get good stuff without listening to the same old dinosaur rock or Pop crap, you just gotta sift through the shit Nashville , L.A. and New York foist on our collective minds non-stop.

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May I suggest Austin, Texas or Chicago?

.

2:12 pm May, 31 The Dude said...

I like redheads. And blondes. and brunettes. and Elviras.

2:27 pm May, 31 Capt. James T. Douche said...

“Uh huh, and he said oh yea! Then I did this and found his prostate and caught it in the glass like this over here and that’s how it’s done ladies! Any questions?”

4:09 pm May, 31 Rev Chad hungover, fuckj said...

@Vin

.

That Umphrie’s McGee shit is awesome. Once I realized it was not Pink Floyd, which is easier in the daylight when hungover than when my drunk wife is obscuring my view due to her position on my cock, I knew these guys were educated. Like Boston was but in a South Bend rather than MIT vibe. What? Great timing sense when doing those mashups.

I like dinosaur rock stations as long as they don’t play fucking bag-drooling twangy Blue Rodeo. I hate new music as I lump it all in to the Top 40 pre-teeny thing I’ll be dealing with into my mid 50’s.

.

I’m gonna go dismember somebody while it’s still hip.

4:14 pm May, 31 Rev Chad hungover, fuckj said...

^That guy up there has promise.

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Video killed the radio star. Son.

7:29 pm May, 31 Doucheywallnuts said...

I’d like to second Vin’s musical points. Also, during the era he mentions bands actually had to play and play live and tour nonstop in order to be successful. It is no coincidence that the bands from that era who are still around are still worth seeing because they can friggin’ play!

8:00 pm May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

Are we still talking about RUSH in here?

5:32 am June, 1 CB Popped said...

BathSalted Face Eaters,,,concept album.

Limelight solo,,,still one of the all time best guitar solos ever.

Stanly Cup, Holy Crap LA,,,but the Devs have Lou Lamoriello.

7:18 am June, 1 I R A Darth Aggie said...

That’s some mighty fine pear, boss.

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And there isn’t enough ‘bath salts’ to make me go zombie on this guy. The soulless ginger, on the other hand…as a Sith, I have no fear of the soulless.

11:53 am June, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The unholy trinity of Bronson Pinchot’s, Screech’s, and David Zuckerberg’s DNA being spliced together sounded A LOT funnier to me and Beaker when we were drunk off our asses at 3am rather than the resulting mutant we apparently and unwittingly unleashed. Gotta stop drinkin’ ripple I tells ya.

5:36 pm June, 4 Wolfram74 said...

Wish we had a Sarlac pit on Earth cos that Douchesicle would be headfirst into it,compliments of my boot.

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