Monday, May 14, 2012

The DB1 Spewcharts

Let me recap my last five minutes.

I enjoyed two tasty Hostess HoHos with a glass of milk. Seeing as Hostess may be bankrupting their tasty snack cakes into the dustbin of history, I have been doing double-duty on my processed treat consumption.

Then I viewed this pic.

And immediately spewcharted HoHo crumbs, milk, and drool across my computer, accompanied by the noise, “Baloggooo.”

What’s a “spewchart”? It’s like a shart and a spit-take mixed into one. But only if it causes you to say “Baloggoo” in process.

That’s what douchetatts, hand gesture, and a picture of American rot’ll do to a guy’s post lunch mid-afternoon snack cake break.

# posted by douchebag1
2:42 pm May, 14 fatness said...

Krazie eyed Katerina is about to drain this douchebag’s bank account while Anastasiya does lookout duty. Stunned Steve sits solemnly.

2:43 pm May, 14 fatness said...

Oh. And a Spewchart must look a lot like this turd’s tatts.

3:04 pm May, 14 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Looks at the category.

Is this Miami Florida? The Miami where people don’t show up for Marlins games? The Miami where David Caruso used to make pithy comments while standing over corpses, all while realizing he will never be as cool as Lennie Briscoe?

There is a Miami in Mississippi, right?

3:04 pm May, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

This reminds me of bizzaro Picasso’s blue period. If you’re not familiar the themes of said period it dealt with sadness, despair, melancholia etc; bar scenes they were prevalent and usually depicted a character or characters at a table or may a nook numbing their pain with absinthe. Dude with fucked up forehead in background and girl further down the bar to his right. They have that “Blue Period” look cause dbaggery will do that to you sometimes.

3:07 pm May, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’m starting to feel real bad for Dim Nabors in the background.

3:08 pm May, 14 Vin Douchal said...

If I was a Jihadist I would scream, “Alalalalalalalalalalalalalallllllaaaaaallllaaaa, I KEEL you , American lemming ” and them toss a grenade on this guy.

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Since I’m not a Jihadist , … his B.O. must be overwhelming, causing chain reaction vomiting amongst the unfortunate patrons (because vomiting is fuccen contagious, ya know?). Blechh

3:10 pm May, 14 Vin Douchal said...

So,…. No Vestigial Pear love?

3:15 pm May, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

In the saddest douchebar in the world, wet T-shirt night quickly came to a screeching halt when Bennie got up on stage, tore his shirt off, and then proceeded to make farting sounds with his armpits. And he still won.

3:16 pm May, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin

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A Little too creepy. I always give the Mrs. shit about having a vestigial tail but to even see a mock up of it, well, ewwwwww.

3:21 pm May, 14 The Dude said...

I just took a dump that felt the way this tattwreck looks. I know, TMI — kinda how he has TMI tattoo’d all over his torso. yeck

3:30 pm May, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I hope he gets dick cancer.

3:48 pm May, 14 Pooch Spackle said...

It probably is Florida, just not Miami. Looks like they are having a nightcap after he placed fourth in the mullet toss in Everglades City.

3:59 pm May, 14 Pooch Spackle said...

And she looks single-wide crazy.

4:35 pm May, 14 Scooby Douche said...

I would give a full months worth of my unemployment checks for 15 seconds gazing on them cans outta that tube-top thang. Yes I would.

5:08 pm May, 14 Stephanie said...

Trailer trash goes to Miami? I’ll bet there’s a NASCAR tattoo number somewhere on his back. Now the question is which one?

6:17 pm May, 14 FredN. said...

“Dim Nabors”

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Et Tu, I’m still laughing. Excellent.

9:39 pm May, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m trying to translate that gobbledygook on his chest. The best I can do is ” Mi Corazon Ares Pose Nude. Stardree.”

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I don’t know what that means. But I suspect the Mayans sent him.

12:53 am May, 15 Wheezer said...

I got “mi corazon Crespo…..” as in the guy who replaced Joe Perry on guitar for Aerosmith back in 1979 or so

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He needs a sledgehammer right in the nuts..

4:33 am May, 15 CB Popped said...

I almost spewcharted after seeing Vestigial Pear while eating a mouthful of chicken cutlets at my office computer yesterday.

I let out a “OH No” (muffled by the sandwich contents)

Thanks Vin.

At that point I realized I should Never, no one should – EVER – be eating anything while Bag Hunting.

5:03 am May, 15 CB Popped said...

Stardee – Crespo,,,lol.

5:45 am May, 15 CB Popped said...

Dim Nabors,,,,,,,,hysterical.

5:55 am May, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Vin

.

Vestigal Tail Pair is actually worse than see darky, curling nipple hairs on a firm set of C-cups.

7:35 am May, 15 Doucheywallnuts said...

What’s douche in the middle and round on both ends? I think this must be Miami of Ohio.

8:28 am May, 15 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Looks like a male member tatted on the solar plexus behind the douche hand gesture. Nice…

9:03 am May, 15 DarkSock said...

I fantasized about vestigal tail pear rogering herself silly with her own knotted tail and blew a load into my dark sock. Keep ‘em comin’, Vin!!!

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what?

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