Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Gloumpa Gets Lucky

Gloumpas need love, too.

# posted by douchebag1
2:04 pm May, 10 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

This photo was taken three seconds before the bouncers at Richard’s Rendez-Vous Gentleman’s Club beat the snot out of Gloumpa for sneaking backstage.

2:04 pm May, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

This is my tooter.

2:05 pm May, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

And she’s his tutor.

2:08 pm May, 10 Vin Douchal said...

She’s sitting on the intake for the air system. Scenting out of the vents are cellulite cream, strawberry K-Y and King Taco farts

2:08 pm May, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

In the rarely visited hallway behind the driver’s ed classrooms, Tiffany found herself once again turning one of her young, impressionable students into a man. Sure, it was wrong. But it felt so right. It felt like a 240 lb. bag of marshmallows and gym socks, but still, it felt so right.

2:10 pm May, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Immediately following this picture he asked her to pull his finger.

2:10 pm May, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Check this out:

.

First came this:

.

.

.

Then the parody:

.

2:11 pm May, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Immediately following this picture he asked for his Pokemon cards back.

2:23 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

How can we live in a world where the fat kid from The Sopranos gets to brush pibbles with an un-Thighmastered “blonde” wearing orthopedic shoes?

2:41 pm May, 10 Baron Von Goolo said...

I just watched FOX News for about two hours, so you’d think my brain would as tenderized to accept outlandish notions that defy common sense as it could possibly be. And yet, I reject what I’m seeing here.

2:49 pm May, 10 Douche Springsteen said...

Awww man you guys are fuckin’ mean. All I’m saying is I’m glad there are no pics of me when I was 15 floating around on the interwebs. I give Frankie FivePizzas a temporary pass. He might grow out of it. My hope for the human race is not yet extinguished.

2:50 pm May, 10 Douche Springsteen said...

And I like her chubby thighs, Dreuche.

2:55 pm May, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

I wonder what the arrangement was?

3:01 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Douche Springsteen, well then, I guess I misjudged everybody on here. Frankie FivePizzas will only get a pass after the ungelification of his hair however. Cuz right now he is looking like a bloated Justin Bieber.

3:04 pm May, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I think Gloumpa is a chick. And that’s all I have to say about that.

.

3:13 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@McCrudeshoes, Spaz Bono?

3:16 pm May, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

After heavy negotiations the Gloumpa and Peroxide Jane came to an agreement, in exchange for a single 5 second boob feel above the shirt and bra as well as a single 3 second panty shot the Gloumpa forfeits his mothers ATM card with accompanying PIN, the $36.86 in his Captain America novelty wallet, the contents of all his pockets which included 3 watermelon Jolly Ranchers that are semi-fused together due to body heat and sweat, one bus pass, his Wal-Mart greeter badge, an expired albuterol inhaler from 2009, a coupon for a free value meal upgrade at a local fast food joint and a half used sample of Axe hairgel that came in the Sunday ads.

3:36 pm May, 10 Southern Scrotic said...

Mom took her son clubbing because she couldn’t afford a sitter.

.

Times are hard.

3:54 pm May, 10 creature said...

that’s some hindquarter Charlene is sportin…I can just imagine the fine checkerboard welt my tennis racket would give rise to!

4:30 pm May, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That fat dude is only with that chick cause his dad just operated on my rotten daughters arm this afternoon on the public dime. Fucking Canadian comsoclists! And she I would put on a pedestal to suck and then fucle the first cellulite dimple that has appeared on her succulent post-pubescent thigh.

5:20 pm May, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Vin 2:10p, my way of parodying that song is changing the words to Somebody that I used to blow. It’s more romantic that way.

5:56 pm May, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@dreuche, or Chaz Ohnoo

7:19 pm May, 10 troy tempest said...

little do you all realise but they will FALL IN LOVE and then they will GET MARRIED and he will stuff his chubby in her veeeeejay and he will fil her twat with baby batter and she will conceive a child and it will grow up to look like this:

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/PepsiMan34/FatGothKid.jpg

8:55 pm May, 10 Mr. Biggs said...

Ooo! I got an 80’s movie quote!

“it’s your mom, dude!”

Thank you.

10:25 pm May, 10 Little Willie said...

Herman gets to touch a hooker hired for his 13th birthday. Today he became a man who will grow up with unhealthy prostitute fetish issues that can only be found late at night on inner city streets and back alleys.

10:32 pm May, 10 Zack said...

pretty sure thats not a dude.

11:54 pm May, 10 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

That’s a $20 trick the dude used his allowance money to buy for 5 minutes in the basement utility room of their walk-up. But he lost his nerve once the door closed and all he got was an iPhone photo and some (fake) bragging rights…

12:52 am May, 11 Stephanie said...

He needs her to call his Mom for a ride home.

2:56 am May, 11 CB Popped said...

Stripper Mom and Son backstage.

5:55 am May, 11 Douche Wayne said...

I think this picture opens up a new category of douchebag – the Little Brother ‘Bag.

Christina is a sophmore at Whatsamatta U, “improved” her looks since high school, and has at least a semblance of a social life now. Her parents made her let her little brother, Owen, visit when he was done with his high school midterms. While on campus, Owen is staying with the guy who has a hopeless crush on Christina (maybe is even from her hometown but didn’t go to the same high school) but Christina has no interest in him, but is happy to use his crush to her evil, sorority-giggle benefit.

Christina agreed to take Owen to a frat party, under Owen’s threat to tell their parents that Christina had an abortion her freshman year. It’s not true, but Christina knows the grief she will endure from her parents won’t make arguing worth it.

Owen shows up to her dorm dressed like this. Little does Christina know, Owen has attempted to fashion himself as a bit of a “player” back home; Owen has turned his pimp-ness to “11” just for this occassion. Christina’s jaw drops and decides no matter how big the blow-out with her parents as a result of Owen’s lie, her fledgling social life is not worth this – she didn’t starve herself freshman year and drink only no-calorie Zima for this shit.

So Christina hatches a plan – she hands Owen a drink to “pregame” knowing this kid gets high off half a wine cooler and will now be off his guard. They pose for this pic, Owen putting on his mack-inest face because he thinks he has a chance with Christina’s roommate Jane holding the camera. Dammit, Owen is hot tonight!

When he asks where the bathroom is to check his hair, Christina and Jane bolt. Their ride is waiting, double-parked in the quad.

Owen exits the bathroom to an empty hallway, already a little tipsy. It takes him a full 15 minutes to realize he’s been ditched, the whole time getting looks and snickers from other students passing him in the hallway.

When Christina’s parents confront her about ditching her little brother and her alleged freshman year abortion, Christina whips out this photo, says “I took him to a party and he got so drunk he threw up and blacked out.”

Owen is now in the hot seat, and is grounded. Now he can’t go to prom with the desparate junior he had a pregnacy scare with last spring break.

6:18 am May, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Related to nothing at all…

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Now, that’s acting!

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/11/brooklyn-decker-sheer-dress-battleship-premiere_n_1508824.html

6:21 am May, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Wash that goop out of your hair and put on a nice shirt and I’ll give you a notta and go in peace. Continuing down this path leads to the douche-side.

7:18 am May, 11 C. K. Doucheter-Haven said...

Wow, great outtake from this week’s Time Magazine cover photo shoot.

10:07 pm May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

^THIS

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AND…..

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She seems to have some hail damage on her thighs.

11:56 pm May, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

^^THIS

and

^THIS

LOL

11:57 pm May, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

Hail damage FTW

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