Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Memorial Day BBQ You're Glad You Didn't Attend

As the wise philosophers known as 3rd Bass once remarked:

’tis always ‘nother day that ‘ere Gas Face could be experienced. When not experienced, bow thine head in solemn prayer and give thanks. For Vishnu has forgiven, and the Boobie Hottie Sunrise of ‘ere tomorrow awaits. But when Gas Face is warranted, give thine enemies the Gas Face.

# posted by douchebag1
6:00 pm May, 31 Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabbadouche said...

I’m Dick Lewis, ’cause baby I’m watching you scheme on a hottie for a boobie suckle.

6:38 pm May, 31 Et Tu Douche? said...

I think what his upturned bill meant to say was A Dick!, not addict, as in bleeth in black looks like she likes to … well you know.

7:15 pm May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

I didn’t attend because I wasn’t invited. I would say they missed out on some dope impressions and interpretive dance. Their loss.

7:20 pm May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

How can I get that guy addicted to me pinching his face? When I’ve figured that out solving that whole world hunger thing will be a piece of cake…literally.

7:21 pm May, 31 Doucheywallnuts said...

Dork, nottadouche, douche sidekick sighting.

7:22 pm May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

Yes I meant pinching. I don’t waste my knuckle sandwiches on just anybody.

7:40 pm May, 31 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The blind Bleeth with the Ray Charles specs is huffing that douche’s Axe sodden armpit thinking it’s citronella.

7:58 pm May, 31 Jazz Hands said...

In this case the over tatted assclown’s pay attention to me get up is working against him. Plain Tom Jane on the left landed the hotter chick. Perhaps my time spent heckling here wasn’t a complete waste.

11:57 pm May, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Man, what a fucking day. Hot as fuck, people calling in sick (sunny day flu), shit going wrong nonstop, and a mild case of food poisoning from some Costco going-away cake (which I think was just styrofoam and frosting) for some office fuck we couldn’t give two shits about. And then I come home to a cat turd on the futon and these two turds on my laptop screen to top it off? Fuck that. Time to clear my head with a Deschutes ale some good ol’ Swedish viking metal.

.

Aah. Much better.

6:03 am June, 1 Douche Wayne said...

John Cryer-‘Bag from accounting wasn’t going to pass up a chance to attend the Marketing Department’s Fourth Annual KY Slip n Slide.

Two Minus Half Men

6:24 am June, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Wally Half Smile petty much sums it up for me. Hyperactivse semi hott girlfriend with TMJ face, douche friend with retarded hand gestures, douche friend’s bleeth with yet more TMJ face, watered down drinks… Wally concentrates hard and musters the best half smile he can. He’d rather be raking wet leaves in the snow with a mop.

8:14 am June, 1 John Paul Jesus, Gangster Pope of SoMa said...

And while these sad sacks mope around with clenched jaws, Japan is gearing up for the skimpiest summer on record:

http://asiancorrespondent.com/82237/japans-super-cool-bra/

12:04 pm June, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wow, I never knew you could get an intercalated sheet of graphene as swim trunks. Fuccen technology. What next, cottage cheese cannons?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Geeks rule

12:51 pm June, 1 John Paul Jesus, Gangster Pope of SoMa said...

I regret being the in the .1% that gets Bunsen’s joke.

Leave a Reply

What is 3 + 15 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)