Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Twenty Minutes Past "Last Call"…

As W.H. Auden once wrote:

When the herpster glasses are aqua,

And ‘ere the Dublin rain smells like poo,

The bells of Montgomery clang with mourning,

And the drunken young maiden yells “woo!”…

# posted by douchebag1
6:27 am May, 22 Los Douches said...

He looks a bit too gay for this to be rape. She looks too drunk for this not to be.

6:36 am May, 22 Pooch Spackle said...

Their expressions are easily explained. She is winking because her glass eye is now his anal bead.

6:49 am May, 22 Douche Wayne said...

My question is how many different shades of pastel does he own those glasses in, or does he just own a closet full of aqua shirts?

Linbleeth Lohan throwing the Mayan Eye of Coitus, coupled with the Ancient Chinese Tongue of Fury. According to the prophecy, she’s down to get down.

Forbidden Clitty

6:58 am May, 22 DarkSock said...

Lex Poothor on the set of “SuperHung: The Man of Steel Erections”.
.
My turgid and torqued bologna cudgel pines to prance to and fro in the flesh canyons of her Ann-Margaret-in-her-prime Milk Slappers; frolicking like an armless bald man; moshing and bobbing to the wheezed and rhythmic song of her “do-me-daddy” panted coitus cries like a bemeated dongle dervish until he disgorges the content of his hairy twin stomachs, like John Largeman™ at a free yogurt buffet…then spent like Lindsey Lohan’s last royalty check, it falls over like a Hefty™ bag filled with cellulite and retracts back into my abdomen, like The Tortoise o’ Shame™.
.
.
.
Purple (jellydong) Pro’s

6:59 am May, 22 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Cover me boys, I’m going to the Forbidden Clitty!

7:03 am May, 22 DarkSock said...

^DB1 threw the gauntlet down with his purple prose, I answered the challenge; bring forth thy worst, you Poets o’ Poo…let your verse fly, like poo from an enraged baboon tribe.

7:04 am May, 22 Pooch Spackle said...

I sure envy those two. It looks like they are getting ready to blow this Popsicle Stand and get down to bidness.

7:07 am May, 22 Popsicle Stand said...

Finally, I’m gonna get some action. I thought once I changed my name to Popsicle Stand it would be a one way ticket to BJ Town. But bizz has been slow as they say.

7:11 am May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Emporer Wears Gay Clothes. Ann Margret hott just wants somebody to share in her newfound crabs.

.

Lenny The Box’ son was here stoned yesterday. The kid’s a little queer and started talking about Stevie Wonder appearing on every awards show that can raise his fat ass to piano level to duet with a likewise mildly talented star. In his stupor he imagined a reality show in which guests would pay money to guide the blind dude around his property by activating an electrified dog collar.

It is tentatively called “Zapping Stevie Wonder.” I hope it catches on cause I hate that pretend blind shill as much as the beaten baby seal warbling that comes out of Marlie Matlin’s mouth when she sinds a gig. No racist.

7:16 am May, 22 Doucheywallnuts said...

I love the smell of bitter vitriol in the morning.

7:24 am May, 22 The Dude said...

Mmm…Mayan Eyelash of Coitus! Yummae!

7:31 am May, 22 Capt. James T. Douche said...

When herpster color coordinates,

The herpes lesions are a ‘bloomin,

One eyed bleeths frolic in Grey Goose haze,

Either way by frivolities end,

One of the two has anal bleeding.

7:35 am May, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sheila has dropped so much ecstasy that a bottle of Grey Goose is rounding 3rd base.

7:48 am May, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sheila might as well set her ass in a bucket of ice. Professor Xavier here has a small, clit-like weenus that looks like a pencil eraser poking out of a sealskin coin purse.

8:23 am May, 22 Popsicle Stand said...

@McCrudeshoes, clit-like weenus eh? That would not sell well here at the stand. I’ve been in the bizz as they say for quite sometime and describing a penis as clit-like is always a bad sign.

8:32 am May, 22 Popsicle Stand said...

And if I may be so bold, as a long time creeper first time poster, to throw out the first pitch for the nomination of this piece of pink shrink-wrapped ass for HOH. As we say here at The Popsicle Stand, “If it looks good enough to lick you may as well fuck it too while you’re at it.” It’s kinda like our motto.

8:35 am May, 22 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

To me, it looks like the gyroscope went in to her monkeyhole sideways?

8:46 am May, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Popsicle Stand, it’s never going to sell as well as, say, a grape flavored jelly dong.

8:48 am May, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

There once was a man from herpsterville

Who wore garish clothes of pastel and frill

He hooked up with a babe, drunk as hell and dressed like a slut

Too bad for her he had no interest, as he only liked to take it in the butt.

8:57 am May, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This looks like a commercial for Axe’s new line of Spanish Fly Enemas.

8:57 am May, 22 Vin Douchal said...

But soft dick, what boobs through yonder pink bra breaks?

It is the “E”, and Bleeth is the buzzed.

Arise, fair machete, and kill the skinhead goon,

Who is already sick and pale with AIDS

That thou, her douche, art far more fair than she

.

.

The Tard of Avon

9:05 am May, 22 CB Popped said...

She’s a spicy, freckled Red head, awesome Coitus signals abound.

I’ll bet her periods taste like Strawberry Daquiris.

9:32 am May, 22 Popsicle Stand said...

I bet her earwax tastes like chocolate covered earwax.

9:33 am May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^And she squits Fresca.

9:37 am May, 22 Vin Douchal said...

I’ll bet her boob freckles taste like my jizm

9:41 am May, 22 Vin Douchal said...

I have a little sister, they call her Bleeth, Bleeth;

She takes the coccks deep, deep, deep;

She climbs the stripper pole high, high, high;

Poor little creature, she has but one eye.

.

.

Mother Grey Goose

4:45 pm May, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I had no idea you could rent strippers from Wal-Mart. Gives new meaning to “Clean up on aisle 17” again.

5:30 pm May, 22 troy tempest said...

This is totally intuitive, but something about her screams “I’m a really expensive date,and you will get NOTHING.”

7:05 pm May, 22 Sofa King said...

If Eartha Kitt and Ann Margaret mated and had a daughter, it would be this girl. The bald dude will be a shriveled raisin in two weeks.

9:44 pm May, 22 Guid is Good said...

Montgomery clang – that is some type of STD right?

4:28 am May, 23 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Hey DB1, what have we here!?

Our first appearance of “glasses w/o lenses as a fashion accessory” on the Douche instead of the Bleeth.

I’m surprised you still haven’t mentioned or caught on to this new earmark of Douchiness after I’m brought it up a half dozen times.

Not only is it real, but now it’s spreading. And still no acknowledgement? If this spreads, you have only yourself to blame.

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