Thursday, June 7, 2012

Herpster iPhone Self Portraits

Lest there be any doubt as to the douchebag connection within the Herpster Trend, let this iPhone self portrait slay all dissenting voices with a firm revelation of pixel evidence.

Herpster Thursday continues.

Let us witness.

And then let us never speak of this day again.

# posted by douchebag1
8:44 am June, 7 Jeet Kune Douche said...

FRIST!

I want to lick the dress off that librarian hott…….

8:48 am June, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Iron-O-Douche is selling something here. Can’t quite decifer what it is so I’ll guess “Euthanasia”, something we’ll all need if the Herpsters win

8:53 am June, 7 C. K. Doucheter-Haven said...

Herpster, or simply playing for the other team? The boys are getting their gaybag on with matching Harvey Milk T’s, and she’s pushing the typesetting merch.

Dwyane Wade and his lens-free Urkels have a lot to answer for.

8:59 am June, 7 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Queer Alert! as we used to say in 4th grade, before we knew what that meant.

9:08 am June, 7 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Little known fact: These three banged the same guy. His name was Biff.

9:18 am June, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Uh, ‘scuse me, get out of the bathroom unless you like the stench of runny King Taco shit

9:18 am June, 7 creature said...

2 homos 1 petit breasted hottie

9:19 am June, 7 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She is delicious in Helvetica or any other font. And by any other font I mean my pants.

9:26 am June, 7 The Dude said...

I want to take that hott’s temperature orally with my gash mallet.

9:26 am June, 7 creature said...

i can stream semen in olde english

9:29 am June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

How to be a hipster guide. Fuck off!

.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Hipster

9:35 am June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hipster singer-songwriters I’ve met. The one. He’s a fucking self-absorbed goof from Niagara where I lived for a while. He was a hipster before hipster was cool. Fucking ironic beards, despair, fixie bikes, and nerd glasses. Cigarette choking smelly hippy cocksuckers. I’m getting drunk now.

.

Stoner Dudes

9:37 am June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oops I forgot the link.

.

9:41 am June, 7 jonezy said...

perhaps its a bit shadenfreud of me, but when I was in the bike shop the other day getting a new tire (beach cruiser for me), I couldn’t help but taking joy in the conversation around me when an atrocious hipster and hipsterette (in one of those dreadfully fugly one piece shirt/shorts combo things) arrived to ask if they could purchase a single wheel.

.

“Nay” replied the bike shop attendant (a hipster himself, I’m sure, but at least he was helpful repairing my tire)- “we don’t sell single rims, just sets- which are gonna put you back a couple hundo.”

.

“Or, go to the local swapmeet this weekend because whoever stole your wheel is probably selling it down there anyway. The problem is, that just perpetuates the cycle of people stealing tires- you’ll just end up buying a single wheel that was stolen from some other [herpster schmuck]”

.

Then the Herpsterette went into a bitching tirade about the thievery of it all, to which the attendant said “well, we can teach you how to lock your bike correctly so the wheels don’t get stolen”

.

It made my day as I rode out of there with 2 functional, existent wheels.

.

Point being, there is a huge correlation between herpsterism and fixed gear bikes along with silly facial hair and tattooed adouchrements.

.

.

Herpstermetroids

9:46 am June, 7 creature said...

i find herpesters make for good traction when driving the narrow streets of silverlake…their lil’ dogs make great tyre chocks too

9:47 am June, 7 Douche Moore said...

@how to me a Hipster

Fuck! Now I have to sell my Wayfarers. Bastards.

9:51 am June, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The key to a great herpster iPhone mirror self portrait is a dainty grip and limp wristed shooting style.

9:53 am June, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The guy photo bombing the picture is also peen bombing Lance’s colon at the same time.

9:59 am June, 7 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’d like to see Helvetica hottie go Sans Sarif.

10:09 am June, 7 creature said...

Hobo Kelly called…wants her glasses back

10:59 am June, 7 DouchYouWannaDance said...

DB1, you missed it again: fake glasses as the new DB fashion accessory.

Both Herpster & Hott this time. Your first twofer!

I’ve been tellin’ ya for months! You’re missing the birth of a new Douche/Bleeth trend.

11:26 am June, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DoucheYouWannaDance, I’ve been mocking the librarian glasses on bimbo bleeths for unfortunately years (yes, plural) now. But you know what, at least its finally recognized. DB1 also just recently discovered that the woman is the one who picks her mate so in turn mocking the douche she picked saves noone, its just fun. Cut the poor guy some slack he’ll, catch up eventually. Some peoples heads are just lodged farther up and require a little more torque during the craniosphincter separation process.

11:28 am June, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

If anyone is interested I have some single bicycle wheels for sale. One of my associates deals in such merchandise.

11:35 am June, 7 Stephanie said...

Dollar store glasses,there’s nothing here,move on people.

12:12 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

^Or, Cum Shields.

12:20 pm June, 7 jonezy said...

did I mention I ride my bike with the seat inverted?

.

.

“Handie-bars”

1:31 pm June, 7 Leery said...

I particularly hate this hipster trend of buying big, clunky eye-glass frames and then putting regular glass in them.

Slaves to fashion in the worst sense. I have worn glasses since I was in f**&in grade 1 and switched to contact as soon as was possible.

What is next for these idiots? Perhaps wooden legs will became the next great fashion irono-statement to make.

Inhabitants of Herpsburg would pull their left legs up, duct tape a foot around their waist and use a retro-antique-organic-sustainably harvested prosthetic limb from the knee down. Wrap a Palestinian scarf around the ankle and fill it up with a 4-5 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon to make you truly legit.

3:34 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Leery

.

I agree. I still wear these glasses. That’s what they were made for: geeky science nerds! That and as a form of birth control for guys in boot camp with a 24 or 48 hour pass. But I digress…

.

Instead of fake legs, we introduce them to eye patches that MUST be worn with the glasses. Getting rid of vision in one eye destroys depth perception so they’ll constantly be running into shit and have a higher likelihood of getting run over while walking or on their sissy bikes.

11:23 pm June, 7 Little Willie said...

Librarian babe is hott all right. She looks like she gives great head. Almost makes you forget about the two faggots on the left but then you compulsively look in the public toilet to discover a couple of unflushed turds marinating in yellow water.

4:10 am June, 8 CB Popped said...

Herpster Apocalypse

5:14 am June, 8 troy tempest said...

I’d kern her delta hint with my ascender…

4:30 am June, 9 DouchYouWannaDance said...

@Nancy Dreuche

Not just “glasses”… but LENS-FREE glasses.

At least before, the glasses were real. Now it’s just the frames being worn by people who don’t need glasses just because they’re *deliberately* going after the nerd/librarian look.

That’s new.

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