Monday, June 4, 2012

Mack the Nozzle Approves of the HCwDB of the Week

Mack the Nozzle. HCwDB legend. Still running with the Goose. Still with tatted up douche everything.

No sign of the lucious Francine, though.

That reminds me. I gotta put this pud in the Hall of Scrote. That’s an epic run.

# posted by douchebag1
9:35 am June, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He’s looking quite haggard. But living life to the fullest will do that to you. And by living life to the fullest I mean passed out beside the toilet with your pants down around your ankles and a bad, salty taste in your mouth.

9:54 am June, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Mack, The Noz was nice enough to introduce us to Francine . She dropped him like a penny off the Empire State Building when we met. I penned a song for her and she fell for me like a drunken hillbilly negotiating a grand-plié.

.

Ahhh Francine…..

.

We made sweet, sweet love under a perigee moon in a lakeside tent as the raccoons and owls sang a medley of 70’s love songs….”Baby let’s pretend that tonight could live fooooreeeever, if we close our eyes and believe it might come true….“….

.

She begged me to stop after her 7th orgasm, but I needed to taste her Vagina Gush one more time…Her writhing and moaning are embedded in my memory banks forever. I have never washed my left index finger since although I have swam in pools and the ocean, taken numerous showers but wear a finger cot on the left index finger when washing dishes. Oh and that time in the petting zoo at the L.A. Fair when the goat let loose on my leg and arm as I knelt down to pet him

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I can still smell her aroma in my goatee and see her hair spread out across my abdomen as she took my member in her sweet, cigarette-y and tequila-ary mouth swallowing my chalky gooseberry allemande

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As with most fleeting allegro romances the pace could not be kept up , our appetites never satisfied in our insatiable hunger for each other and for the better good we ended it with a hug and one last shocker……

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Francine, my Bleeth Queen ……

.

9:59 am June, 4 Doucheywallnuts said...

Mack the Noz working as a bartender at a MADD meeting. Fucc Mack the Noz.

10:19 am June, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Something tells me you could pour just about anything down these bleeths’ gullets, and you don’t need to spend $200 for bottle service to do it.

10:50 am June, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I would blow a huge diarrhetic load of gluten intolerant wheat germ and peanut ridden scat on the corpse of a dead fireman in middle of 9/11 Memorial Plaza while wearing a turban just for the chance to get prison raped by the guy with Marfan-penis syndrome who while homeless once washed the windshield of Francine’s 3rd grade teacher’s former dietitian from when she was battling a food allergy.

11:08 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Soemthing about this pic tells me the bleeths are going to play a practical joke on Mack. They’ve given him the glasses (and shitty alcohol) making him dizzy and blind. Right bleeth is steering him the direction pointed out by left bleeth while cenetr bleeth makes sure it’s all gonna go down like it should. And by “like it should” I mean the Booty Warrior knows what to do with that bottle of Goose.

11:08 am June, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I like purple sack dress hottie. She looks hott, drunk, DTF, and has an extraordinarily agile tongue. On the down side, well you know that old Flash Gordon movie? You know the scene where Timothy Dalton puts his arm in the tree stump, and you just don’t know what is lurking in the dark, dank recesses? It would be kinda like that.

11:09 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ and today is National Fucck Sppeling and Dyslexia promtion Day (in case you havent figured it out).

11:16 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

I would use my distended testicles as a slingshot to volley the dying and hissing fetuses (fetii?) of an enraged momma grizzly’s own offspring toward her salted snout in the vain hope that the photo of my ripped entrails might make it onto BroMyGod.com, thusly eliciting a snicker of derision from the sallow-faced fat guy that once made Francine a poorly krafted vegan burrito that she only half-finished once in Wichita.

11:26 am June, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

It’s all a trick that bottle of Goose is loaded! He’ll put his thumb down pressing the button on the mouth of the bottle as he goes to pour another round detonating the wad of C-4 that the Bleeth with the obscured arm making the duck face is placing into his anus as we speak. All that will be recognizable of him in the smoldering remains of Haze and the lower portion of the Aria will be the twisted, mangled frames of his douche X-ray specs, a still smoking, inked pork cracklin’ of skin stuck to a twisted, molten piece of support steel left from the blast and a pair of scorched Ed Hardy briefs.

11:48 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

‘Twas nigh on three years ago that he debuted his asswankery as Archie McScrote. It takes a special talent to be able to be that obvious yet earn a second name here, so I can handle his enshrinement in the HoS.

.

And I wanna nail Francine. I like it simple and to the point.

12:16 pm June, 4 The Dude said...

Feel sorry for Mack the Schnozz, my fellow Mockers. He max’d his credit card on that Goose. He’s gonna sleep behind a dumpster tonight. Alone. Afraid. Willing to do it all again. His pathetic dream is alive.

.

I prefer the “hamster on a wheel” life analogies, but the only hamster analogies I’m getting here involve gyroscopes and monkey holes.

12:16 pm June, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^The Sherman Oaks Cheesecake Factory had to shutdown after that pic was taken. It’s the only known case where a health inspector shut down a restaurant based solely on the hygiene of one of it’s customers. There is a reason why it says Contaminant across his shirt.

12:40 pm June, 4 Vin Douchal said...

Hey sports fans, check out this fuccen guy:

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Aroldis Chapman, Flame Thrower

.

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As Hawk Harrelson would say, “How come we don’t get guys like this?”

1:43 pm June, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wheezer is the man, good work!!!

3:01 pm June, 4 Douche Springsteen said...

I’d like to think the Mayans were right and December 2012 will usher in a new age of enlightment and materialistic douchebaggery (especially financed by over-extended credit lines) will be but a distant memory but something tells me we’re just in for more of the same. Fuck you, Mack, wherever you are.

4:11 pm June, 4 Wheezer said...

Vin said (amongst many other wonderfully vivid details): “We made sweet, sweet love under a perigee moon in a lakeside tent as the raccoons and owls sang a medley of 70’s love songs….

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I guess the muskrats were too busy goin’ all Stackhouse-style and “gettin’ some.”

5:21 pm June, 4 Nancy Dreuche said...

Um who is Francine again and any word on whether the years of bleethery have been kind? I mean just looking at this douche in the pic gave me half a crow’s foot on each eye. It’s like I always tell half of my personalities and 3 of my gal pals. “Douchebags will age you. Either hit it and quit it (which they are perfect for) or avoid entirely.”

1:50 am June, 5 Douchble Helix said...

I think Wheezer must have a shadow HCwDB site ensconced in The Cloud. Thank you, Al Gore.

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When the Chief moves on, no probs. We’ll have Wheezer’s “HCwDB Classic” site.

3:12 am June, 5 CB Popped said...

Mack Nozzle-Archie McScrote –

Those facial tattoos and Pro – BMX Bicycle plans are slowly catching up to you….

I cant wait to see an older, fatter, slightly more haggard pic of you next year – you fucking asshole.

3:14 am June, 5 CB Popped said...

Fucking bullshit.

Damn Im angry today,,,maybe its bc Im dying to bang one of these bleeths.

7:16 pm June, 5 Little Willie said...

Herbie didn’t realize it yet but the sorority sisters were about to play a prank on him involving bondage on all four limbs with handcuffs, multiple enemas and leaving him with a fucking machine turned up to maximum pounding his sphincter while his screams were muffled by the ball gag stuffed in his mouth and sealed with duct tape.

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