Thursday, June 14, 2012

Moses McJesus Heals the Sinners

And by heals the sinners, Adonai means smokes a spliff, borrows twenty bucks from his aunt Rachel, blows it on scratch tickets and a Slurpee, and spends the day lounging by the pool, bothering Mary, and avoiding a summons for an unpaid parking ticket.

It’s in Fluke 4:20. It’s a lesser known Bible passage. Like that story on off-track betting in the Himalayas, I’m sure you’ve been following it.

# posted by douchebag1
2:18 pm June, 14 eyedouche said...

Tatt of his favorite artist “Enya”

2:20 pm June, 14 Douche Springsteen said...

Ever notice how there are hardly ever any gentlemen at those gentlemen’s clubs? I’ve never been to a place as classy as the Spearmint Rhino though.

2:22 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Zaftig cutie likes the yiddusheh kepele. However the Jesus bling is confusing …

2:25 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Heard this on the Sirius this morning. Can’t get it out of my head:

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2:30 pm June, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Boss

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Would his aunt be Rachel Underhill? Bitch still owes ME money from that water buffalo that hit my car and she didn’t even give me a towel or nothing. Then again she should look in her cabana and see what Adonai has been doing at the country club.

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Love your body Larry

2:31 pm June, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin

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Wow, that’s some heavy silence man. I think I just heard Rev Chad’s head explode over that one.

2:33 pm June, 14 Nancé Dreuche said...

According to his underwear he likes Shockers. Three in the stink if there is no pink? One of you guys has to know this.

2:34 pm June, 14 Matt said...

I wonder if he knows that the Bible forbids Jews to get tatts? Moron. Fucking moron…

2:40 pm June, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ll bet you if you grabbed her by the hips and gave her a good shake it would look like an Alien vs Predator battle in a tub full of matza ball-filled tapioca pudding.

3:23 pm June, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Vin’s excellent old Alice vid proves my theorem that:

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Number of rack toms x number of stick spins = the inverse of drum skills.

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For example:

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NRT x NSSP=1/drum skills: with a major hypothetical condition the theorem cannot be proven if Neil Peart is playing.

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Tubby SAlly is just fat enough that she’ll fuck anybody who she can tell her friends about divided by 2. I fucked that stereotype many times and only had fun and crotch lice.

3:26 pm June, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Does he really have a tat of the Star of David and an upside down cross and a masonic symbol and some Mayan dialect?

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Douchey Wallnuts pack up on water and grains it’s another sign of the Zombie Apocalypse. Son.

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Stunners

3:29 pm June, 14 The Dude said...

People who squint when they don’t need to are just as douchey as those idiots who wear sunglasses at night.

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I’d bone tubby Sally in a fartbeat. I’m generous that way.

3:48 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Rivka Large-Manischewitz checks out her new sunglasses in the bar mirror

6:00 pm June, 14 douchebag1 said...

Site was down for a few hours, am in the process of upgrading… hang tight. And keep mocking The Moses…

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– management

6:08 pm June, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

Where’s the website with all the HOTT euro women/fans from this past weeks Euro 2012?? I tried Bleacher Report but alas nothing. I know you have the skills hook us up.

6:11 pm June, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

Wow!!!, I couldn’t wait for Vin D any longer so I googled ” Hot chicks at Euro 2012″ and look at the 2nd hit I got. Note Bro not Broo in upper right.

http://www.brobible.com/girls/slideshow/15-hottest-girls-at-euro-2012

6:58 pm June, 14 The Dude said...

Squint Leastwood can’t fulfill this fat fillie. He’s giving the Mayan Eyes of How ’bout a Finger Fuck?

7:02 pm June, 14 The Dude said...

Et Tu, holy cows — what sport is that? Actually, it matters not. My eyes have seen some glory there.

7:08 pm June, 14 Nancy Dreuche! said...

@The Dude, douches have Mayan Eyes too? What does the Mayan Eye of Buttsex look like so I can best avoid it? I’m familiar with the Mayan Eye of Please Accept This Sandwich in Lieu of Reporting Me To the Police and your basic Mayan Eye of Blow Me but it would be helpful to be aware of the others.

7:09 pm June, 14 Nancy Dreuche! said...

@Et Tu, I see you’re into the BroBible. High five!

8:03 pm June, 14 The Dude said...

Nancy, it’s the Mayan Squint of I Can’t Get It Up. And that’s waay too much thinking about this twit. Now the pfat pfillie, she deserves a bit more attention!

8:13 pm June, 14 Doucheywallnuts said...

Annie McFivehead has chosen poorly.

8:37 pm June, 14 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

brobible dot com ? just what the inventors of the internet were hoping for.

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Anybody want to guess what the hebrew (?) on the belly says. My irish catholic ass can’t even take a guess.

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and the female above is no hott by any stretch

8:53 pm June, 14 The Dude said...

Why the hell do NBA stars wear no-lens fake librarian glasses to their post-game interviews?

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nDBa

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I wish a hockey player would show up and slug one of them.

12:11 am June, 15 The Dude said...

Wallnuts, I’m scoring Annie as a 4.5 head. Depends on your angle.

5:06 am June, 15 Doucheywallnuts said...

Dude you have grown lenient in your scoring. I think she’s actually closer to the mythical and unicorn-like 6-head usually seen only in some retards. Draw a line straight up from her ears and that’s where her hairline starts.

5:32 am June, 15 The Dude said...

I defer to your rating. My only basis for 6-head measurement is when I shaved Sinéad O’Connor’s dome 5 years ago at the Standard Hotel. That was a very long weekend indeed. She liked to make me wear her clothes, and buy copious amounts of shwag from the dealers down on Figueroa.

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It wasn’t so much walking down a gritty street in women’s clothing, her stuff just didn’t fit! I’m 6’3″ for chrissakes!

5:33 am June, 15 CB Popped said...

This guy is probably what we refer to as a “Pizza – Bagel” here in NYC,,,half Jewish, Half Christian.

^Dreuche, I think its a 3 fingered hand symbol – pointed forefinger, middle and pinky.

“Two in the pink, one in the stink”.

^Dude, the NBA is so fucking pointless.

5:35 am June, 15 CB Popped said...

Oh, and Vin, thanks for the vintage Cooper, I almost auditioned for him, but they had to give the slot to a guy that already had worked with the band.

^Chad, drummer equation is great.

10:41 am June, 15 Steve said...

Nice Fletch reference

9:17 pm June, 15 Stephanie said...

Wasn’t he in Menudo?

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