Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Reader Mail: Unclear on the Concept

Creepy mail-order-bride internet dater Purple Punguine, he who already stalked a Ukrainian Hott, writes in with more disturbing tales of internet trolling and confusing about the douchebag concept:

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DB1,

I did it again, this time it was while talking to a Estonian Hott. I thought it was going good we’ve been chatting and emailing each other when I asked for a pic of her, this is what she sent.

Not just one man whereing a white plastic grass dress but two of them!!

One which has a murse and bigger tatas then she does!! Why is this always happining to me? and WHY does he get to lay his head against such lovely Hott?

– Purple Punguine

——————

There’s nothing worse than Man Wheres in Third World Countries. Especially with crocs.

# posted by douchebag1
1:59 pm June, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

There is so much very wrong and creepy with this pic that I don’t even have time to scratch the surface of the problems.

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P.P.: Delete the above photo and any emails from above Estonian and change your email. I think maybe you should skip the internet dating of the hotts and start visiting some places refered to as “da club” in order to meet your hotts. Good luck.

2:10 pm June, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One must ask now at this crucial time in P.P.’s romantic tragedy, “What would you do for a Klondike Bar.”

2:18 pm June, 12 Doucheywallnuts said...

Rubber footwear is the downfall of civilization. When titsunes in third world toilets wear them, you know it’s bad. Kind of like finding a used rubber on the moon. Na mean?

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Estonian hott isn’t bad. Torso thickness is a result of internal organ distention broght about by alcoholism combined with having had over 7 abortions.

2:19 pm June, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Mgambo->> POP POP<< Ungeewa Malalalan listens to dinner's belly while keeping an eye on the thermometer on the outside of the boiling cauldron

2:21 pm June, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Estonian Hotts…. Can’t live with ’em , can’t wait to floss ’em out of your teeth

2:24 pm June, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

And then… YUM YUM Eat ‘um UP!

2:26 pm June, 12 Vin Douchal said...

I got my case of Sweet Baby Ray’s UPS’d today, It’s time to cook her

2:27 pm June, 12 Vin Douchal said...

“Purple Punguine”, Estonian for $10 per minute webcam sucker

2:31 pm June, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Malkavia?! So THAT’S what you where doing July 21st at 11:39am? I thought we had something special and I just needed to pay for you to have a few more English lessons!

2:31 pm June, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Purple Punguine

.

And don’t for a second believe that’s a Nigerian prince and his man-servant trying to convince her to transfer $13 million out of their country for safe keeping either. I know, sad but true.

.

.

.

.

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ungabunga

3:33 pm June, 12 hermit said...

This picture also begs the following musical question:

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How many knees would a negro grow,

If a ne-gro could grow knees?

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The answer my friend is blowing in the wind,

The answer is blowing in the wind.

3:35 pm June, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Purps Penguin, you must purchase this woman. She looks like she has a viable womb being certified by that witch doctor on the right. I say go for it buddy, she looks great in a bikini and she’s accepting of different cultures. Good luck, and send in the wedding pics.

3:47 pm June, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ @ Nancy

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Are we sure we’re ready for inter-species erotica on this site? DB1 hasn’t shown any of his dalliances and I for one would like to keep it that way.

4:05 pm June, 12 The Dude said...

Whenever I wear a plastic grass dress, I also cover my moobies with a plastic bra and tassels.

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Prassels

4:07 pm June, 12 The Dude said...

Ndune Titsune called. He wants his skirts back.

4:07 pm June, 12 The Dude said...

^Ndube^

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Fuck, I’m stoned.

4:10 pm June, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Doc B, I’m pretty sure Purple Penguin is just the made up name this assclown uses when interacting online. But hey, maybe its an actual penguin who has learned to type with his floppy flippers. I mean I am a teenaged detective after all. And yeah it is nice that DB1 keeps photo evidence of his penchant for beastiality to himself. Dudes got enough problems as is, we dont need that thrown in our collective faces as well.

4:23 pm June, 12 Wheezer said...

Purple Punguine’s downward spiral will continue as he visits Homoslavia…..book it.

4:28 pm June, 12 Guid is Good said...

Those crocs often wash up on the beach after storms. Well done that man for finding a matching pair.

4:37 pm June, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That’s no Estonian. She was payment from the Bush/Rothschild families for the tribe’s allowance of Prescott to impregnate Ndube with Obama’s grandfather and keeping it on the down low.

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Manchurians

5:05 pm June, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

^Oh dear Greico here we go again. Conspiracy hour with Uncle RevChad. Pull up a chair and bring on The Pentaverate.

5:36 pm June, 12 The Dude said...

~Homoslavia~ = 2nd dead keyboard this week.

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Prescott + Ndoobie can’t be true. Pot would be legal, and the Skatalites would be outselling Miley Montana, or whatever she calls herself.

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sideboobs

5:37 pm June, 12 Steve said...

Normally I’d say that for all we know, she may not have appreciated them getting so close for the pic, but since it’s the first pic she sent you she seems proud to let people know that she lets strangers put their hands all over her for a pic. Cheap shots. Move on.

5:40 pm June, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Ibangu and Ubangme couldn’t afford a whole Estonia bride, so they split one.

5:42 pm June, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Estonia, exporting broken dreams and bitter salty tears to shut-ins since the invention of the intrwebz.

6:07 pm June, 12 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Did somebody say the “Pentaverate?” Nobody ever expects the Pentaverate!

.

7:12 pm June, 12 Stephanie said...

“She will make many babies for the tribe”

7:22 pm June, 12 The Dude said...

Fun Fact: there is about a 50% chance that when I open Firefox it opens HCwDB and I then need to explain that while I am indeed a perverted exponent of our culture, this site is worth learning about.

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I know, another dangling participle. Fo gigger

8:01 pm June, 12 Morbo said...

It’s the world’s sleaziest oreo cookie.

10:06 pm June, 12 Purplep Punguine said...

@ reverand i’d do just about anything for a klondik bar

10:07 pm June, 12 Purplep Punguine said...

@ Vin Douchal,

To be fair it is a free website.

10:14 pm June, 12 Purplep Punguine said...

DB1,

To be fair I am not some Creepy mail-order-bride internet dater, I just stalk them into submission until I get what I want!!

10:42 pm June, 12 Purplep Punguine said...

I am not a assclown, just a ass sniffer

11:24 pm June, 12 creature said...

I know those guys!

1:16 am June, 13 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Ah the old conundrum of dating on the internets. Helga’s anthropology class trip to Africa obviously taught her things they did not learn in the classroom, and a few things that had little to do with anthropology.

3:40 am June, 13 CB Popped said...

Not hott.

5:17 am June, 13 Olddog1 said...

Pfft, everyone knows the hottest Hotts come from the Baltic states,

Estonian: Balti riigid,

Latvian: Baltijas valstis, and

Lithuanian: Baltijos valstybės.

The Penguin is a poser of the first magnitude.

6:50 am June, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@P.P. 10:14a, how’s that working out for you ass sniffer?

12:00 pm June, 13 DarkSock said...

I’d pay $173 to watch her poop while standing in her shower.

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Me standing in her shower, not her. That would be kinda fucked up. It’s alright to pee in a shower, but…no, not poop.

1:49 pm June, 13 The Dude said...

Bring a screwdriver in the shower with you, I’m guessing you can drop a deuce in the drain, seal it back up, and no one will be the wiser. Especially you, because for crap’s sake isn’t that what trees are for?

6:18 pm June, 13 Purplep Punguine said...

@ Nancy

Not to bad actually has its days where it blows

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