Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Foreheadsman of the Apocalypse

Forehead studs for the societal loss.

Rachel’s doe eyes tell her father, uncle, and uncaring grandfather that she is never coming back to Omaha again.

Because, as Shakespeare once wrote, how can you go home to the farm after Carl Hungus?

# posted by douchebag1
9:39 am June, 26 DarkSock said...

Melvin was fully aware that he was exploiting Rachel’s forehead zit fetish but regretted nothing.

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She smells like soap and tastes like Snapple; I would fight Plinky’s Mom’s colonic tapeworm, Sylvester (seen writhing in the background of this photo) using nothing but a novelty 18″ purple jelly dong and this rash on my leg that won’t go away just for the privilege of sticking my dry finger into the dimespot of Rachel’s pet cat Cerce.

9:41 am June, 26 DarkSock said...

Dimespot, I says

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Son

9:47 am June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Meh. This scene is the very definition of avoidable.

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You show me nothing, Pinhead

9:58 am June, 26 Nancy Dreuche! said...

Nice of him to put targets on his head. Sometime my aim is a little off.

10:27 am June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

I’m starting to hate talking about the Yankees. The questions are so stupid. They’re wasting my time. It’s getting kind of old … I don’t believe in damn curses. Wake up the damn Bambino and have me face him. Maybe I’ll drill him in the ass, …

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– Pedro Martinez, Statesman, 2004 World Series Champion

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Chippers

10:36 am June, 26 CB Popped said...

Honestly, I was shocked to see Boston has a population of 600,000,,,,,,I always assumed they were bigger based on their mouths.

NYC – 12mil.

Thats why DB1 does his excursions here.

Vin – love you man, why the Yank hate? Sheesh!

Im not even a big baseball fan, but does Bahston have anyone on the club, (other than Big Papi) that has been with the team more than 10 years?

Youkillis was cool.

10:39 am June, 26 CB Popped said...

I cant believe I wrote that but whatever…

hatters.

😉

10:43 am June, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The forehead mutation can only lead to two things. The first is the multi-specied Zombieism DW has warned us about. The other one is this:

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Homos

11:35 am June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

@ CB

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I’m headed to the Cape over July 4th week. Got TIX to Saturday’s Sox v Yankees game at Fenway. I do not like the Yankees so much

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All I know is I’m glad I don’t have to root for A-Rod and Texiera on my team: Two of the most contemptible asshats in the game today. The closest all time rivals to these two is Chuck Knoblauch and Paul O’Neill or Lou “Redass” Pinella and Thurman Munson. Mygawd how could you watch these assholes play ball much less on your own team?

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The Red Sox have/had Pedroia and Youkilis on the field at the same time and I could see the comparisons to the above mentioned but at least Pedroia is funny and Youkilis made himself into a force through sheer determination and grit. It’s fun to say “Yooouuuk”

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Maybe it’s the mixed feelings over the changing of the guard at the hot corner for my beloved Sox. Yes Middlebrooks should be playing and Youk had to go. But Youk had such a good run it’s like the day you have to bring the old dog to the vet for his needle >>> ER !! <<<< ticket to the "Happy Dog Farm".

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Yeah yeah, those Yankees ^ all won, that doesn’t change the fact they were blowhard crybabies, assholes, cheaters, intimidated umpires into blowing calls and bought their pennants through illegal back door revenue sources that skirted the wishes of MLB – fer instance the revenue from the Addidas deal at the stadium that they don’t share with the league by saying , “Oh no,…. the STADIUM has a deal with Addidas… not the Yankees

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My boy’s favorite player is gone. It’s like when the Sox let Mo Vaughan walk, a sad day indeed. His Youk Uni goes to the dustbin and we shop for a Saltalamacchia tee next week

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For once I want to listen to Hawk Harrelson shout about a home run…:

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“Youk rips it to center, it’s deep, it’s high ….. you can PUTITONTHEBOOOOARD !!!!!!! Yes!!! Mercy!”

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Saberhagens

11:37 am June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Fuccen close italiacs

1:56 pm June, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin

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You forgot Bucky Fucking Dent and Aaron Fucking Boone as two asshats that had no business even being in the majors that whining dickhead Yankmees fans like to think they can throw in Sox fans’ faces. What a bunch of maroons. I was hoping that Youl would’ve gone to my actual hometown team (the Buccos) but they have zero fuccen dollars to pay him and he’s still way too fuccen good. At least Chuckles had the decency to develop that throwing stutter that got him out of the game.

1:56 pm June, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Et Tu

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If you’re out there….

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Frank Ribery’s little brother can really score the poon, eh?

2:43 pm June, 26 Vin Douchal said...

@ Doc

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The Pirates are doing fine. They’re doing it right with their farm system and the occassional free agent pitcher. AJ Burnett has been a breath of fresh air.

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As far as affording Youkilis, the Sox are paying about $5 million of the $7 remaining for the rest of the year. The Bucs should have pulled the trigger.

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It would have been great to see Clint Hurdle, Hardass, meet Kevin Youkilis, Hardass. Stick him in there ahead of McCutch and that BEAST Pedro Alvarez and and they would be right in the fight for the decidedly weak NL Central.

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Hanrahan’s a hammer out of the ‘pen

3:01 pm June, 26 Doucheywallnuts said...

Living in the heart of Yankee territory I can say I am sick of the Red Sox/Yankees series. They play each other so much it’s tough to give a shit. And I am not a Yankee hater, just a hater.

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Also, Mickey Rivers told me a story in person – hand to Harry Potter – that Bucky Dent’s bat was corked when he hit the homa. He knows this because on the previous pitch Bucky broke his bat and went back to the dugout and took Mickey’s, and Mickey said all of his bats were corked. If you watch the replay of the homa, you can see the bat boy run out and grab the bat before Bucky reaches home because the Yanks all knew.

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No-shitters

3:27 pm June, 26 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Since the frontal lobotomy that’s the only expression his face can make and he can’t unclench his hand from that position either.

5:53 pm June, 26 ehcuodouche said...

I guess three nail gun shots to the head were not enough to keep him down.

6:24 pm June, 26 CB Popped said...

Def will keep this light – hearted,

I’m a NY Islander Hockey Fan (would love to see them move to Bklyn) – watched them win all those Cups as a kid, at that time – there was actually a guy named Steinbrenner had to pay to get Yankee games on the radio in the 80’s and the area around Yankee Stadium in the Bronx was not family friendly. Yanks had won it all in 77 with guys like Reggie Jackson when I was 8, but somehow, the city was deteriorating.

Farm team brought up bunch of good players, who had huge, long careers (some still do))- Jeter, Posada, Rivera, Paul O’neil, et al. – – again, this is truly a discussion for a real baseball fan – I’m over my head, but I made the mistake to dive in – at any rate –

I do know the Yanks, Dallas Cowboys and Manchester U are supposedly the 3 biggest money – making teams around, so it kinda strange, etc.

Seeing the ridiculous cash they blew in the early 2000’s was nuts, (Giambi, Randy Johnson etc etc) most teams spend big numbers these days – but what can I truly say – – – – – –

I’m here to hunt the bags.

8:04 pm June, 26 Stephanie said...

That’s a new kind of Indian forehead dot thing whatever. Does that mean Buddha likes you,you pot smoking smelly hippie.

9:22 pm June, 26 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Don’t worry, as soon as his twink metal band, Büttfröøt, takes off, he’ll trade her in for a blonde with more fake parts than a chinese watch.

11:46 pm June, 26 French Word for Shower said...

They’re…they’re not even straight! If I were going to implant ugly cyst-looking bumps in my face, I’d at least want the goddamn things to be straight!

2:58 am June, 28 CB Popped said...

Yanks v Boston are the only games I even bother to watch….good baseball regardless.

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