Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Trent Assholio

Shhh!!

You hear that??!?

It’s Trent Assholio.

He’s on the move.

The make.

The Mack Daddy springboard sexin’ bodysprayin’ move.

Can you dig it?

I said, can you dig it?

Luscious Larissa burps angels covered in lilacs. I would traipse through a barbed wire covered field of rubber boing boings just for the chance to drool and lick upon her discarded spa treatment skin peel.

EDIT: Site’s BUGGY as heck today as I’m upgrading everything, so bear with…

# posted by douchebag1
7:19 pm June, 19 The Dude said...

ooh, I hope Larissa has another boobie to match this one!

7:45 pm June, 19 Doucheywallnuts said...

Trent, meh. I’d love to see Larissa’s mons.

7:49 pm June, 19 The Dude said...

I’d fly the friendly skies on her Boing 747s.

7:51 pm June, 19 Vin Douchal said...

This site is wigged out today. People are staying away in droves. I prefer my droves cooked with fava beans and a nice Chianti

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And since we’re on that 80’s thing. I’m feeling Jake:

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7:53 pm June, 19 The Dude said...

Some people have trouble finding their chins when shaving. Perhaps they’re wall-eyed. Or really busy and have to dash before finishing. Or complete and total douchebags.

8:00 pm June, 19 Wheezer said...

Luscious Larissa – a definite contender for Girl Next Door Hott. She’s workin’ a Mayan Eye of Smiley Coitus.

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Oh yeah.

8:00 pm June, 19 Wheezer said...

Yes Trent, she has two boobies. Very good. Now go sit in the corner and eat some more paste.

8:11 pm June, 19 Stephanie said...

Trent eats his own paste.

9:18 pm June, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

80s thing. I’m glad sites running again. Spent the last six hours turtled in a corner breathing into a bag filled with clonazepam dust waiting for a fix of douche.

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I got some 80’s shit. Stoned. Son. The garden is growing as it should. And by as it should I mean tomatoes. Get it? Amazing how much faster tomatoes grow in direct sunlight hidden from view of potentially nefarious interlopers. We have two strains of heirloom tomatoes, One is Chocalope and the other is from Quebec. A pain reducing tomato called Jean Guy. This motherfucker grows man!

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Heavy drinking is defined as having five or more drinks per occasion at least once a month during the previous year? What the fuck am I then? A drunk? Cause I got five down before I cooks bacon and eggs for my tribe of Hebrewskis in the morning.

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It’s so hot I want Sheena Easton’s ass in my face to cool me down. And that Joni Mitchell was not too good looking but she was socially concerned. I like to fuck her in the heart.

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There is no use for small talk when analingus starts I say. I’m too stoned man. But I will leave you with a song my friends.

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My life as I knew it ended in 1980 when I got crabs for the first of a series of times.

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I forget what I was talking about. Trent has earwigs in his cock?

9:19 pm June, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oh yeah. Mons Boobis was fucking funny son.

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Oedipal Complices

9:24 pm June, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t know how that Trailer PArk thng got there but mayeb it’s cause I’, fading Sipposes to ne thsi.

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11:02 pm June, 19 The Dude said...

Larissa’s twin blimps are available for a float through the Vixen Valley on the winds of dreams. Why did it take me ten minutes to type that sentence?

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Titstractions

11:13 pm June, 19 The Dude said...

“Trent eats his own paste.” FTW. Thanks Stephanie for demonstrating an extremely efficient Mock. Heck, by the time he gets around to the Mock, Wallnuts has usually written another Chapter in His book destined for the Googleheim Museum. Funny shit, though. Yours is short and funny, in sort of a capsule form.

3:36 am June, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=soul%20patch

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One of the worst grooming ideas, ever.

4:55 am June, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

It was weird not being able to log on yesterday I felt as though I was going through some type of withdrawal. I guess I can say I now know how The Rev Chad (Respect) feels when Lenny the Box is out of town for a few days and there’s no ganj to be had.

4:57 am June, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

While not a classic SBR Larissa’s side boob profile is a thing of joy to behold.

5:29 am June, 20 CB Popped said...

SBR, like it. We need more of that.

5:30 am June, 20 CB Popped said...

This Douche has that “Fishslap Smirk” going on.

8:40 am June, 20 creature said...

I would eat pickles out of her snatch

10:42 am June, 20 DarkSock said...

I want her to read the weather report to me. Nekked.

11:19 am June, 20 douche equis said...

Sorry Trent. There is only one Smoot, and you are not he. Him. Whatever.

11:21 am June, 20 douche equis said...

And of course the use of the phrase “Can you dig it?” by the boss above reminds me not only that I want to see The Warriors again, but that I haven’t plugged the Black Dynamite animated series, premiering July 15 at 11:30 pm, lately. Please watch. If you’re a Nielsen family, please drag every person to whom you are related or that you have ever known in front of the TV set at that time. I’m beggin’ ya!

11:23 am June, 20 douche equis said...

Warriors. Netflix. Yes.

6:01 pm June, 20 Stephanie said...

I can’t write novels. People have short attention spans. These douches need quick right hooks to the head.

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