Monday, July 30, 2012

Cartoon America

To paraphrase the old guy talking to Jimmy Stewart in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, when the douchebags become cartoons, print the cartoons.

# posted by douchebag1
1:58 pm July, 30 Vince said...

WOW, she is ugly!

2:05 pm July, 30 Stephanie said...

The lengths people will go to get noticed is sad,and the doctors are getting rich off of you foolish douche bags. Thanks for helping the one percent,you dipshits.

2:05 pm July, 30 Mr. Biggs said...

It’s like Pygmaleon and Galatea. Except Pygmalion is a frustrated 12 year old comic book geek.

2:06 pm July, 30 Capt. James T. Douche said...

These two dudes really know how to wail on their chests!

2:20 pm July, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Is Walmart doing plastic surgery now ? Seriously, those are the worst bolt-ons I’ve ever seen. The doctor that installed those should have his medical license pulled off the frame on the wall and inserted in his rectum.

2:25 pm July, 30 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

Never, in the course of human events, have two people (and I use that word loosely) ever deserved each other more than these poo…er…uh…excuse me…these TWO.

2:28 pm July, 30 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Can’t wait to see what her labiaplasty looks like, I’m guessing two pink eclairs with chocolate sprinkles pushed together.

2:28 pm July, 30 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

And inquiring minds want to know: what in the fuck do those two thing on her chest look like when she’s fucking?

.

.

.It can’t be pretty.

.

.

.It could be dangerous to another tranny’s life.

2:35 pm July, 30 Charles Douchewin said...

Her breasts only inflate when she feels threatened……

.

by low self-esteem.

2:37 pm July, 30 I R A Darth Aggie said...

OH. DEER. LORD.

.

I smell poo. Which means they’re strong candidates for the next monthly.

2:44 pm July, 30 Capt. James T. Douche said...

She definitely got her 75 cents worth at the air hose down at the AM/PM.

2:52 pm July, 30 Dickie Fingers said...

This picture makes me very sad. We’re doomed.

That said, I’ve got to hit the gym and have my scrotum waxed.

2:53 pm July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

If you cut them, do they not bleed Anadrol-50/oxymetholone and pro’lly Deca-Durabolin/Nandrolone??

3:08 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

fuck me…it’s over.

3:13 pm July, 30 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

When Bill Ward is your plastic surgeon.

3:14 pm July, 30 Anonymous said...

Sad.

3:27 pm July, 30 Wheezer said...

“Dirigibleeth”

3:35 pm July, 30 Duck Duck Douche said...

What an odd place to carry your ass etts.

.

Yeah, I should have just let it be…nobody can beat “Dirigibleeth”.

.

Carry on.

3:51 pm July, 30 Sir Boo said...

What a gorgeous couple.

3:57 pm July, 30 Douche ex Machina said...

Eye bleach! Must…..get……eyebleach!

4:19 pm July, 30 ye-ye said...

The deal is, he doesn’t know they are fake.

4:22 pm July, 30 The Dude said...

boner kill. Now I’ve gotta start over.

4:41 pm July, 30 Douchble Helix said...

HoH by decree!!

4:46 pm July, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I found a video of their trainer.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZOOt7xWN_U&feature=fvwrel

5:15 pm July, 30 Guid is Good said...

Those tits are a crime against humanity. Where are those useless f***ing UN peacekeepers when they are needed?

5:30 pm July, 30 Evilmoose said...

Wow….think they are real?

5:53 pm July, 30 Little Willie said...

These two fecal specimens look inflated. Stick ‘em with a pin and they’d burst. The one on the right has a dick and is trying to hide it with the leg block pose

6:06 pm July, 30 Norma Lee Hawney said...

During the fall of the Roman Empire this couple would have been stationed at the entrance to the public vomitorium. No palm leaf necessary.

6:18 pm July, 30 eyedouche said...

Oh the humanity. Times two. Those Hindenburgs are ready to rupture, explode and go down in a flaming heap. George C Scott is playing with the detonator now. As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Those turkeys are going down.

6:19 pm July, 30 eyedouche said...

Like sacks of wet cement.

6:37 pm July, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I hope they both get stomach cancer.

6:44 pm July, 30 Anonymous said...

1955 Thunderbird bumper fully restored

6:46 pm July, 30 Anonymous said...

She gives a whole new meaning to “Headlights”

7:12 pm July, 30 Anonymous said...

99 Luftbaloons

7:17 pm July, 30 schlicht bindenburger said...

aaaw FUCK! how does one ‘unsee’ this nasty?

7:38 pm July, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

On a sad note, Tony Martin passed away today. Martin was married to Cyd Charisse, and yea I banged her in the first threesome ever, but he was a nice guy. He lived 98-years. Madon. He wasn’t exactly a “hit maker,” as they says in the headline, but I don’t want to speak ill of the dead. Capice?

.

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/hit-maker-tony-martin-dead?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

7:45 pm July, 30 ehcuodouche said...

Her nips are so overinflated they aren’t just pointing upward, they’re pointing backward.

Get away from her, man! She’s gonna blow! And not in a good way!

7:51 pm July, 30 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

OH JESUS, THE HELIUM!

10:03 pm July, 30 DarkSock said...

Those of you with cantaloupe fetishes…and you KNOW who you are…get out the hand lotion.

.

Sons.

11:17 pm July, 30 Jeet Kune Douche said...

OK, let’s look at the latest specimens of crapdom:

HE looks clownish. He must drink steroids by the gallon. I doubt his nads can be seen with anything less than an electron microscope.

SHE – Odin Preserve Us. Women can look great when they’re in shape, but those stretched-taut silicone mountains actually made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

11:54 pm July, 30 Stephanie said...

Over the shoulder boulder holders.

12:20 am July, 31 Baron Von Goolo said...

I know The Beast by its true name. That’s Nanda Croft. She works part time as a niche fetish model and the rest of the time keeping mud off of truck tires.

.

GAZE INTO THE ABYSS!!!

12:41 am July, 31 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Man. That shit’s creepier than Giger.

.

I need to clear my head with some gymnastics.

.

Ah… All better. Though that was my last clean tube sock.

4:08 am July, 31 CB Popped said...

Charles Nelson Douchely said…

When Bill Ward is your plastic surgeon.

BWA HAA! Nice.

(BIll Ward is/was the drummer for Black Sabbath, and has no business giving these two plastic surgery)

5:40 am July, 31 Anonymous said...

Just when I thought HCwDB may have jumped the shark, DB1 produces this freak show. Upon seeing this pic, Mary Mammogeddon is quoted as saying, “damn, I knew I didn’t go big enough.”

7:25 am July, 31 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

@CB Popped

I meant the other Bill Ward. The cartoonist famous for Cracked’s Nanny Dickering – among others.

9:03 am July, 31 Tits McGee said...

Yikes!!!! Bigger is not always better.

9:11 am July, 31 Dr. Doucheteau said...

Ah, I see my creations have found each other in the wild:

Infat-a-bag meets Inflat-a-hott!

9:12 am July, 31 Dr. Cocktoe said...

Sorry, Jacques…. I was thinking Dr. Cocteau…..

1:15 pm July, 31 every which way but douche said...

Even Peter Pumpinhead and Mary Mammageddon think they look ridiculous.

4:36 pm July, 31 douche equis said...

Dr. Moreau, I believe you mean, and oh my god. Ewwbd above me nails it. As my wife so succinctly put it, “Who thinks that looks good?”

7:38 pm July, 31 Troy Tempest said...

one of us One Of Us ONE OF US

6:10 am August, 1 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

^Wheezer for the comment of the week: “Dirigibleeth”.

6:37 pm August, 2 Douchelips said...

Worthy of the monthly. Just for sheer assasninity.

Leave a Reply

What is 3 + 4 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)