Saturday, July 7, 2012

Comment of the Week: Captain James T. Douche

Capt. J.T.D. sums up the crisis of the ‘bagling in the Melvin Finkelstein thread and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:

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With the promise of hooking them up with some complimentary bottle service and the teeniest sliver of hope of a handjob, Melvin scrounged up some wounded soldiers from the other VIP areas and watered down the leftover booze with pool water and cleaning chemicals as well as grabbed a few carafes of whatever was laying around at the bar fermenting in the sun. Some improvised peacocking and seduction tips his pal Moishe had given him along with a few quick one liners and the snap of a camera phone later and he’s back to skimming the jizz out of the jacuzi before the big cheese gets wind of it all. That pic will earn him serious respect and street cred at Hebrew school this week as well as he’ll be dotting the eye on daquigans mons ink in his dreams for a good month when he tosses a load into a sweat sock.

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Quality mock. Moishe does have the best seduction tips.

# posted by douchebag1
12:21 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

Hello Kitty? G’bye lunch. dang

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Nice werk, Cap’n

1:12 pm July, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Goon on ya Captain. You had me at sweat sock.

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And as a multiple winner of the coveted Comment Of The Week I would like to thank DB1 for obscuring my face in the above photo. I should have worn my Bret Michaels Pet Smart collection dog undies but the girl that gives me blowies for pizza wanted me in her brother’s (pimps) shorts.

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Sons

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Is it fucking hot and dry down there? Our corn is six feet high and rising but the rain stopped.

1:13 pm July, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Good. I’m drunk and dehydrated.

1:53 pm July, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

Nice job Captain.

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Hello Shitty is more like it.

2:44 pm July, 7 skrag2112 said...

Hello Kitty.

And by that he means his man pussy.

3:03 pm July, 7 ChestBrah said...

Nice glutes……….. He obviously works out.

3:10 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

Man pussy = Mussy.

3:11 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

and it’s gross. I’ll never get that lunch back.

4:03 pm July, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hot shit! Comment of week! Thanks for the kind words fellow bag hunters and have a great weekend.

4:05 pm July, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Even Rabbi Nussbaum had to give a tip of the yarmulke to Melvin this week at Hebrew school!

5:29 pm July, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Everybody should have a little Captain in them, when they mock.

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Above bloke has no posterior chain. Posterior chain, I says.

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http://www.google.com/search?q=posterior+chain&hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&tbo=u&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Qd34T–xAojn0QHp17z6Bg&ved=0CF8QsAQ&biw=1024&bih=644#biv=i|1;d|H0Fq1Oo1x81ZbM:

5:40 pm July, 7 Reverend Chad Covered In Bondo, Primer, Grass Stains, Dirt, Bud Booster, Bondo, and Mister Bubble said...

Who has fucking time for posterior chains DW?

6:56 pm July, 7 Steve said...

All that time in the gym. All that money on steroids. Yet he still fits in his girlfriend’s underwear.

7:53 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

Rev Chad reminds me — where the fuck is Fuckerfaster?

7:54 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

you know, the Right Honorable something or fuckerother…

7:54 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

Hortense smudgie – I ferget the rest

8:26 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Ducal Serene Highness, Dr. Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster

8:28 pm July, 7 The Dude said...

Doesn’t even matter if he/she ever made a post worth reading. That’s a fucktastic fuck’n name. Not as succinct as ~The Dude~ but that’s comparing apples and skyscrapers.

9:05 pm July, 7 Douchble Helix said...

So, who took this fucking pic?

9:35 pm July, 7 Mr. Biggs said...

And… with that picture, Hello Kitty jumped the shark.

10:41 pm July, 7 DarkSock said...

^Jumped the Snark

11:50 am July, 8 DarkSock said...

The front of her panties say “Hello Clitty”.

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The front of his panties say “Hello Itty Bitty”.

2:17 pm July, 8 Duck Duck Douche said...

Hmmm…I had no idea Lee made Press-On Undies.

9:21 am July, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think this is his way of “advertizing” when he gets sent to prison for “working” at The Second Mile.

9:10 pm July, 9 Stephanie said...

Hello Titty.

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