Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Crazy-Eyez Carlos and Hott Brazilian Gisella Say Happy July 4th!

What’s good for Carlos is good for America (by way of Mexico)!

Happy July 4th y’all!! (as I affect my southern accent for effect, thus demonstrating a clear knowledge of the difference between “affect” and “effect,” which then, ironically, proves that I”m not southern.)

Thanks for hangin’ with all them site buggin’ going on these days. Close to being fixed with the cleanup, things should be working a lot better.

Also, my personal blog, Lucky Punkass, will be starting up soon, giving me a chance to rant away at the larger cosmos while still continuing the hottie/douchey mock. Hope you’ll check that out as well.

For now, we grill.

# posted by douchebag1
6:58 am July, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I would lick Joey Chestnutt’s 5th of July Nathan’s turdfest to get that Beyonce/Shakira/J-Lo lookin coochie-Mama to shake her booty on my Jesus-sized hot dog.

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I’ll read your blog if you get the Forum working so’s I can get me back my avatar. Son.

7:03 am July, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Crazy Eyez Carlos should be escorted to the border…the border of J-Lo Bleeth’s Mons.

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It is with great sadness I announce the passing of a crew member of mine, Nunzio “Three Nipples” Napolitano, by way of food poisoning. He ate sofa scungilli salad Monday (pronounced, “skun-geal,” I says). Apparently, the scungilli had been sitting for quite a while….

7:09 am July, 4 Steve said...

I can’t tell if she’s wearing a top. Me gusta.

8:19 am July, 4 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I smell ceviche.

9:20 am July, 4 Anonymous said...

Isn’t that Mary Mammageddon? Who was actually a dude. Happy Fourth fheggets.

10:30 am July, 4 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Ya know, normally I’m a complete sucker for sluttastic bleethes of all types, but this particular blonde brazilian hoochie gives me pause……there’s something slightly……….trannyish about her……….

10:43 am July, 4 Wheezer said...

Carlos celebrated the 4th by sticking a wooden ‘4’ through his skull just left of center.

10:52 am July, 4 Anonymous said...

I’d have crazy eyes too, but they’d be pointed in the other direction.

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As a true patriot, I’m sayin’ no top, no tranny. In fact, she ~lost~ her top and doesn’t mind.

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Happy 4th!

10:53 am July, 4 The Dude said...

Fuck! Do I have to sign in every time? What a pain in my little brain!

12:23 pm July, 4 Nancy Dreuche With KFC Grease Dripping Off Fifth Chin At A Party said...

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6789072/dora-the-explorer-movie-trailer-with-ariel-winter

1:07 pm July, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Carlos just won the game of life; game, set, match, and checkmate. He’s checking to make sure his homies can see him now. I’m sure they are at least looking in his general direction, if not at him.

1:23 pm July, 4 creature said...

stick a hotdog in an apple ass pie & call it 4th of july!

2:43 pm July, 4 Sir Douche said...

Magnificent! Cheers!

3:59 pm July, 4 Vin Douchal said...

I have a blog coming out called “Punky Luckass” . Been reminiscing with schoolboy friends of mine about debauched drunken shenanigans while here spending July 4th on Cape Cod. A fine place to be from .

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How I got off the Cape without doing time, contracting a blumange STD or knocking up a Portuguese girl I’ll never know

4:24 pm July, 4 Rev Chad Raving Drunk. Son said...

Happy B-Day mates. We need a man like Ronald Reagan again. Didn’t count on welfare stakes, Everybody pulled his weight. Blah Balh Archie for Prez.

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How did Vin get off the Cape without the mandatory James Taylor, Carly Simon threesome?

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@Wheezer

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Are you talking about a 4 penny nail? I don’t understand Merican sometimes. Especially those fucking queers Norm and Bob Vila. Worst gay couple TV show ever!

6:36 pm July, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

Did you make it to Pufferbellies? The Mill Hill Club? if so shame on you, if you made it to the Wooden Shoe or the Beachcomber then right on!!.

6:59 pm July, 4 Et Tu Douche? said...

As I sit down to cool off from the manning grill in this rancid heat I’m transported back about a year ago. At and around that time we were very spoiled and didn’t know it. I’m talking about the genius that is Hermit (Respect). I miss his prose and decided to dig into my Hermit scrapbook. So with out further ado I give you a 4th day of July reminiscence as told by Hermit.

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See his post @10:55 am

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/07/04/ullar-jorbergs-mustache-says-happy-july-4th/

11:19 pm July, 4 Little Willie said...

Carlos taking a break from the leafblower job. He’s looking around to see if anyone notices his non-contribution to anything going on 15 minutes now. Carlos is a zero and nobody gives a damn and actually hopes that INS ships his smelly ass back to mehico. Gisella looks so downright hot but 10 to 1 you get close and reach down and there’s a schlong there that isn’t yours as “she” quickly tries to plant a french kiss as you recoil in horror and try to turn your head away as you involuntarily start to vomit uncontrollably.

5:39 am July, 5 Olddog1 said...

Testing, testing. BTW: she is rather HOT.

5:46 am July, 5 Olddog1 said...

Nancy @12:23

Dora is bad ass. I like a bad ass heroine. Can’t wait till the movie comes out. And it’s educational!

5:49 am July, 5 Vin Douchal said...

The Mill Hill club is surrounded by 15 foot high weeds. It’s been closed for what over ten years at least. I banged more drunken tourist hotts outta that bar than Peter Lawford at the Kennedy Compound maid’s summer-end party.

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In my day, the drinking age was 18. Eighteen I says. As fresh meat, the MILF types would drool at us young dudes in a bar. You couldn’t swing a cat by its tail without hitting an estrogen charged rabidly horny 30+ experienced and jilted woman. Let’s just say it was my cocck’s golden age.

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Now , Main Street in Hyannis has a slew of eateries with sidewalk seating and great bars. It’s not the like the hay day of jamming sweaty kids in the club for John Morgan happy hours or The Grass Roots as the bar band where a walk to the car to smoke a J with a babe ended up as a drive to the dunes for a salty, sandy grind on a blanket under the stars . Now it takes game.

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These days when I get it here its a search for clams. I eat them for all three meals then enjoy them a second time with ferocious farts that only that magnificent delicacy can produce. Also, the quirky micro brews are mind blowing here.

9:55 am July, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like Crazy-Eyed Carlos found the end of Gisella’s pole o’ plenty and he doesn’t know whether to be impressed or frightened.

9:33 am July, 6 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

@Vin: it’s “hey-day”. To quote Hamlet: “at your age the hey day in the blood is tame…”

9:35 am July, 6 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

Fuck. Make that “heyday”, no break. I know, I know, fuck me, I need to get a life, etc.

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