Friday, July 6, 2012
Friday Haiku
Hotties of the Rings,
find Assbo ‘Baggins fingers,
“Butthole, My Precious!”
One does not simply
douche at da clubs; arthritic
hand gestures needed.
— Wheezer
Lord of the Bling fails
To impress hotts with new show
Idea, “The Jersey Shire.”
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Olympic Rings Hott
makes me want to practice the
Breast Stroke for the Gold
— The Dude
Had fundraiser for
D-Bags finger condition
Raised sixty-two cents
— Anonymous
Mail order bride smiles
“Still, it beats Cherbnobyl.”
Not by a lot, though.
— Baron Von Goolo
Whoever makes Lord
of the Rings reference did
not get laid last night.
— Nancy Dreuche
Cabbie bro parties
with latest fares at da club;
flashes drivers’ “sign.”
Excuse Me. Is that
A Gollum in your pants or
Did you lay a loaf?
No missing link here;
just generic frat bros, hotts,
and Anglicized doof.
Gandalf The Grin knows
He’s not fucking these chicks. Staff
Only fits into Elves.
These chicks are Hobbits
Or the dudes stand on Frodo
Human Centipede.
One does not simply
douche at da clubs; arthritic
hand gestures needed.
Mark, with fingers crossed
Invites his boss Tom to some
Rowdy midget porn
The leaves are falling
All around. It’s time they were
On there way, Douchle On.
DarkSock’s not runnin’
Haiku now? Or is he off
for the holiday?
***
‘Sock’s visiting kids
Chilling at the ex-wife’s house
In Sacramento
Historic district here
Is called “Old Sac” by locals;
Giggles like school-girl…
One Prong of Eldor
Cast a spell on the chicks. “Thou
Shalt blow standing up.”
From the bowels of
Mordor brews a nasty surprise.
“Hey, smell my fingers.”
It puts the ring in
The basket. Put the ring in the
Basket. Fucking dwarfs.
Notches in her belt?
More like bang holes in her side
John “sad eyes” looks on
They don’t wear the rings
Since the gyroscope was put
In their Monkey Holes.
The Black Gate opens;
Mouth of Sauron is closed, but
Axe stench permeates.
That crouching girl’s dress
is an engineering feat.
Let’s hope the rings fail.
Lord of the Bling fails
To impress hotts with new show
Idea, “The Jersey Shire.”
Olympic Rings Hott
makes me want to practice the
Breast Stroke for the Gold
Many more tales to
Tell. I will leave them to you.
I go to swimming.
‘Sock must be out on
the Anduin in elven boat;
he can make it sink.
Duke doucheous the lame
displays hubris aplenty.
True love eludes him.
Elvish brunette hott
is from middle earth – he’s from
middle management.
Bilbo’s Birthday Bash;
Slotho tries to show age in
Roman numbers, fails.
Ryne Sandberg‘s Cub smiles
despite odor; used to stench
of losing. Thanks, Dad.
In a hole in the
Wall there lived two Hobbits. A
Nasty Dark Wet Hole.
Happy Gondor hotts
party in midst of Bugbeard
of Fangorn Forest.
Had fundraiser for
D-Bags finger condition
Raised sixty-two cents
The Boss and The Hoss
both posting Haiku today?
Then Sock’s vanishes.
.
Save for rainy day,
but that may never come to
U.S. this summer.
July 4th mishap
results in mangled digits;
‘crackers up bum? BAAAAAD.
The black dress hott gives
Mayan lips of great blowjobs
Not for these douchebags.
polish alphabet
makes gang signs hard to render
good effort Tomasz
handheld eggbeater
put deep in her monkeyhole
makes Fran speak in tongues
I have it is true
mons pubis diving rod
sometimes hits pay skirt
put hand up Fran’s cooch
involuntary twitches
become permenant
Fran grins wicked smile
collectress of the cockrings
bites off the penis
@ Rev CK – “The Jersey Shire.”
.
Bravo, your holiness, Bravo.
Mail order bride smiles
“Still, it beats Cherbnobyl.”
Not by a lot, though.
On Syfy channel
Jersey Shore Zombie Attack
Bleeths soon to be food
Whoever makes Lord
of the Rings reference did
not get laid last night.
not counting Hobos
that would be you Nancy D
told you did a tribe
Who nailed bleeth in white?
And by nailed I mean that she’s
Been crucified, son.
Samwise Gamgee smiles
sad smile knowing he won’t be
Lord of the Cocck Rings
Boobless bleeth in black
boasts a boyish bootie, but
blows and bangs for bucks
Looks like hobbits won’t
get a chance to take One ring
into Mons Doom soon.
Keep your fingers crossed
that one of these girls knows “The
Nut Cruncher” hand sign.
Stryder looks sad that
hobbits will struggle to Mons Doom
for failure again.
Since when are we not
allowed to count hobos? Trash
can fires make me wet.
Like a long range bomber,
There’s rings on her fusilage
For each she shot down.
I hope Dark Sock is
having a good vacation.
Yes, that’s what its called.
King Douchous’ valet
Fraulein Fran Drescher looks bored
Pink Dress cradles balls
Ashley and Bestie
Kim find themselves in the land
of the giant douche.
Nancy, what is the
Nut Cruncher hand sign? I want
to avoid that hell.
@The Dude,
Make a fist with right
hand, open palm with the left
Bring them together.