Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday Haiku

Hotties of the Rings,

find Assbo ‘Baggins fingers,

“Butthole, My Precious!”

One does not simply

douche at da clubs; arthritic

hand gestures needed.

— Wheezer

Lord of the Bling fails

To impress hotts with new show

Idea, “The Jersey Shire.”

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Olympic Rings Hott

makes me want to practice the

Breast Stroke for the Gold

— The Dude

Had fundraiser for

D-Bags finger condition

Raised sixty-two cents

— Anonymous

Mail order bride smiles

“Still, it beats Cherbnobyl.”

Not by a lot, though.

— Baron Von Goolo

Whoever makes Lord

of the Rings reference did

not get laid last night.

— Nancy Dreuche

# posted by douchebag1
6:42 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

Cabbie bro parties

with latest fares at da club;

flashes drivers’ “sign.”

6:43 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Excuse Me. Is that

A Gollum in your pants or

Did you lay a loaf?

6:43 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

No missing link here;

just generic frat bros, hotts,

and Anglicized doof.

6:44 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Gandalf The Grin knows

He’s not fucking these chicks. Staff

Only fits into Elves.

6:46 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

These chicks are Hobbits

Or the dudes stand on Frodo

Human Centipede.

6:47 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

One does not simply

douche at da clubs; arthritic

hand gestures needed.

6:48 am July, 6 saulgoode42 said...

Mark, with fingers crossed

Invites his boss Tom to some

Rowdy midget porn

6:48 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The leaves are falling

All around. It’s time they were

On there way, Douchle On.

6:49 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

DarkSock’s not runnin’
Haiku now? Or is he off
for the holiday?

***
‘Sock’s visiting kids
Chilling at the ex-wife’s house
In Sacramento

Historic district here
Is called “Old Sac” by locals;
Giggles like school-girl…

6:50 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One Prong of Eldor

Cast a spell on the chicks. “Thou

Shalt blow standing up.”

6:51 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

From the bowels of

Mordor brews a nasty surprise.

“Hey, smell my fingers.”

6:52 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It puts the ring in

The basket. Put the ring in the

Basket. Fucking dwarfs.

6:53 am July, 6 saulgoode42 said...

Notches in her belt?

More like bang holes in her side

John “sad eyes” looks on

6:53 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

They don’t wear the rings

Since the gyroscope was put

In their Monkey Holes.

6:53 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

The Black Gate opens;

Mouth of Sauron is closed, but

Axe stench permeates.

6:54 am July, 6 FoghornLeghorn said...

That crouching girl’s dress

is an engineering feat.

Let’s hope the rings fail.

6:57 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lord of the Bling fails

To impress hotts with new show

Idea, “The Jersey Shire.”

6:59 am July, 6 The Dude said...

Olympic Rings Hott

makes me want to practice the

Breast Stroke for the Gold

7:00 am July, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Many more tales to

Tell. I will leave them to you.

I go to swimming.

7:01 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

‘Sock must be out on

the Anduin in elven boat;

he can make it sink.

7:02 am July, 6 Charles Douchewin said...

Duke doucheous the lame

displays hubris aplenty.

True love eludes him.

7:02 am July, 6 Charles Douchewin said...

Elvish brunette hott

is from middle earth – he’s from

middle management.

7:03 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

Bilbo’s Birthday Bash;

Slotho tries to show age in

Roman numbers, fails.

7:05 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

Ryne Sandberg‘s Cub smiles

despite odor; used to stench

of losing. Thanks, Dad.

7:09 am July, 6 One more from Rev Chad Before I go said...

In a hole in the

Wall there lived two Hobbits. A

Nasty Dark Wet Hole.

7:17 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

Happy Gondor hotts

party in midst of Bugbeard

of Fangorn Forest.

7:18 am July, 6 Anonymous said...

Had fundraiser for

D-Bags finger condition

Raised sixty-two cents

7:27 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

The Boss and The Hoss

both posting Haiku today?

Then Sock’s vanishes.

.

Save for rainy day,

but that may never come to

U.S. this summer.

7:29 am July, 6 Wheezer said...

July 4th mishap

results in mangled digits;

‘crackers up bum? BAAAAAD.

7:38 am July, 6 The Dude said...

The black dress hott gives

Mayan lips of great blowjobs

Not for these douchebags.

7:41 am July, 6 Colossus of Choads said...

polish alphabet

makes gang signs hard to render

good effort Tomasz

7:51 am July, 6 creature said...

handheld eggbeater

put deep in her monkeyhole

makes Fran speak in tongues

7:53 am July, 6 creature said...

I have it is true

mons pubis diving rod

sometimes hits pay skirt

7:55 am July, 6 creature said...

put hand up Fran’s cooch

involuntary twitches

become permenant

8:01 am July, 6 creature said...

Fran grins wicked smile

collectress of the cockrings

bites off the penis

8:05 am July, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Rev CK – “The Jersey Shire.”

.

Bravo, your holiness, Bravo.

8:09 am July, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Mail order bride smiles

“Still, it beats Cherbnobyl.”

Not by a lot, though.

8:20 am July, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

On Syfy channel

Jersey Shore Zombie Attack

Bleeths soon to be food

8:26 am July, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

Whoever makes Lord

of the Rings reference did

not get laid last night.

8:32 am July, 6 creature said...

not counting Hobos

that would be you Nancy D

told you did a tribe

8:32 am July, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Who nailed bleeth in white?

And by nailed I mean that she’s

Been crucified, son.

8:36 am July, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Samwise Gamgee smiles

sad smile knowing he won’t be

Lord of the Cocck Rings

8:40 am July, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Boobless bleeth in black

boasts a boyish bootie, but

blows and bangs for bucks

8:41 am July, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like hobbits won’t

get a chance to take One ring

into Mons Doom soon.

8:41 am July, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

Keep your fingers crossed

that one of these girls knows “The

Nut Cruncher” hand sign.

8:44 am July, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Stryder looks sad that

hobbits will struggle to Mons Doom

for failure again.

8:45 am July, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

Since when are we not

allowed to count hobos? Trash

can fires make me wet.

8:54 am July, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Like a long range bomber,

There’s rings on her fusilage

For each she shot down.

8:59 am July, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

I hope Dark Sock is

having a good vacation.

Yes, that’s what its called.

9:09 am July, 6 SonnyChibaChoad said...

King Douchous’ valet

Fraulein Fran Drescher looks bored

Pink Dress cradles balls

9:26 am July, 6 Tanath said...

Ashley and Bestie

Kim find themselves in the land

of the giant douche.

9:27 am July, 6 The Dude said...

Nancy, what is the

Nut Cruncher hand sign? I want

to avoid that hell.

10:10 am July, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

@The Dude,

Make a fist with right

hand, open palm with the left

Bring them together.

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