Friday, July 13, 2012

Friday Thoughts and Links

Remember kids, no matter how much trauma the world is experiences, no matter how many are suffering in poverty, homelessness, war, despair, and malaise, somewhere there is a dude with a shaved chest in pink pajamas partying with hotties.

Takin’ it easy for the rest of us sinners, I suppose.

And when Higgs meets Boson, maybe it all comes out even in the particle wash.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Now that you brought that up, hang onto your paddle. And if you hit any rocks, don’t hit ’em with your head. “

Forty years later, and it is still one of the greatest films of all time.

What happens when you’re a billionaire owner of a major NFL franchise and your beloved wife of 50 years passes away from cancer? Star in a creepy audition video with your new girlfriend. EDIT: Video’s been pulled, so I changed the link to an article on the story.

Ah, the 80s. When ads for record compilations simply ran lists on the songs. And hippies.

Even if she looks slightly like Mike Meyers as Dieter in this pic, I would still slather Mila Kunis with cocoa butter and rub her toesies with an apron.

It’s the summer…mmmm… Volleypear

It’s like Mia Farrow in the Sound of Music. Some things just weren’t meant to happen.

Or Michael Keaton on a mid-70s episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. (Check the back row at :38)

If Brawndo ever makes a douche car, this is what it’ll look like: DoucheCar! It’s got electrolytes.

But you are not here for uberdouchecar. You are here for Pear:

Who Cares If It Might be Photoshopped Pear

And even if it is photoshop, there’s always

Refracting Pear

For the suckle purity goodness award. And, really, isn’t that the best award there is?

# posted by douchebag1
11:36 am July, 13 eyedouche said...

DoucheCar – 10 bucks says it’s got “Truck-Nuts”.

11:40 am July, 13 Wheezer said...

That’s Tito Ortiz, UFC “Hall of Famer,” in the pink jammies. Don’t ask why I know that, ‘K? There are many bits of trivia in my head, and very few of them serve a real purpose.

.

Is it possible to frack Refracting Pear?

11:43 am July, 13 Wheezer said...

Well, had I looked at the pic to see how it was tagged, I suppose I’d have discovered the Boss already guessed at who Mr. Pinky was…..

.

11:47 am July, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jamieson and another bag of oozing vaginal discharge. Speaking of vaginal discharge, there were some pretty promising little packages in the 13-15 year old diving competition today. But it was the 15-18 crowd that were really cute. And by cute I mean I’m glad I wore baggy khakis.

.

Perverts

11:47 am July, 13 DayGloGuido said...

Barney Rouble’s sojourn at the Flamingo Club was proving most beneficial, so long as he could continue serving peach daiquiris to the likes of Dogtania and her Poodle-headed friend he’d be fine….and that way he wouldn’t risk any more boulders accidentally being DROPPED ON HIS HEAD at the quarry…..

12:08 pm July, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I know that in my current geographical location that vee-hikle would be deemed downright classy by the locals because it gots those nekkid lady cuts on the front of it. Puttin’ nekkid ladies on ANYTHING makes it all classy and shit. Those, a 7′ whip antenna and lift kits on a truck so you need TWO ladders to get into it just makes the laydeez cream themselves with joy.

12:13 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Ti

12:15 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Yea, so like I was saying. Tito Ortiz could kill us all with his pinky and a cotton call.

12:15 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Cotton ball, I says.

12:21 pm July, 13 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Can I haz pear pie?

12:25 pm July, 13 The Dude said...

I’m an old volleyball player. I can haz volleypear? Puhleez?

12:31 pm July, 13 Morbo said...

Anybody else willing to bet that the night pictured here ended in a threesome?

12:40 pm July, 13 Tanath said...

My cousin was on Mr. Roger’s once. Once!

1:13 pm July, 13 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Waaaaaaaaaaait a minute………………

Blondie on left is a porn star, asstard in the middle is an MMA ape, and the bimbo on the right is some semi-famous ex GF of Hef.

The fact that all three are semi-celebrities makes their collective douchosity almost an abuse of the Douchebag classification. They haven’t really ‘earned’ it, and are actually BENEATH genuine douchebags and bleethes on the Utter Contempt scale. At least, that’s the way I see it.

Anyone disagree?

1:40 pm July, 13 DayGloGuido said...

Yeah but Douchey his Wallnuts will be the size of mung beans…

1:59 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Elevated VolleyPear. Aka, “I have a huge erection.”

.

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/d4QZc_Jsewi/NBA+Star+Kevin+Love+Holds+Press+Conference/oZr2czstOhK/Jess+Gysin

2:02 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is not fair. And by not fair, I mean I have an erection.

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http://img004.lazygirls.info/people/jessica_gysin/jessica_gysin_jessica_gysin_5BFnR2N.sized.jpg

2:28 pm July, 13 Wheezer said...

DW, are you tapping (so to speak) into Vin’s hottie stash?

2:49 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

So I decided to lay a little low this week with the Ike, JFK, mob thing. The other day Mrs Wallnuts got a package containing a cow’s tongue with a spike through it. She thought it was a box of Sfogliatelle (pronounced, “sfee-a-dell,” I says.) from Natale’s Bakery. It was a hell of a thing. It might be Big Angie Testaforte or Sonny “Coca-Cola” Villani playing a practical joke on me, but better safe than sorry. Na mean?

.

It reminds me of the time me, Sinatra and Petey Lawford lit a bag of dog crap on the stoop at Lew Wasserman’s mansion, rang the doorbell and ran. Wasserman was an ugly, humorless prick with a little schmeckle and Sinatra hated him. But he weilded a lot of power. Frank fucked Wasserman’s wife Edie in the entry foyer of their mansion during a big party one night, in front of everyone. Wasserman threatened to ruin Frank’s career, but couldn’t. Frank banged Edie again, for good measure, and wiped his schwantz on the drapes in their bedroom when he was done with her. I fucked her too. What the hell, I wasn’t in pictures so he couldn’t do nothin’ to me.

.

Anyways, Frank told Lew Petey did the lit dog crap gig. Wasserman ruined Lawford’s career and saw to it that he never did anything better than sit-coms and the fuckin’ “Love Boat.” Madon, a real sin.

3:38 pm July, 13 Baron Von Goolo said...

Isn’t the one on the right the Kendra Whatzerbucket?

.

How much can an E! reality show possibly pay? You’d think that Magilla Gorilla Real Doll would have set her back a pretty penny.

3:47 pm July, 13 The Dude said...

Goo! Wallnuts! Are we “back in the day” yet?

3:55 pm July, 13 Dickie Fingers said...

“wiped his schwantz on the drapes in their bedroom when he was done with her”.

Thats got my vote for comment of the week.

3:59 pm July, 13 The Dude said...

D. Fingers makes an excellent point.

4:34 pm July, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Could this be somebody who frequents the site?

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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/notorious-walmart-toe-sucker-356129

5:07 pm July, 13 Douchble Helix said...

BvG is on top something. That’s the 2nd “Kendra” sighting in two days.

5:09 pm July, 13 Douchble Helix said...

I’ve been saying that “programmer” for a classic rock radio station has to be the world’s easiest job.

.

I see it’s even easier than I realized.

.

Wasn’t Freedom Rock that big festival in New York?

5:18 pm July, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Doucheywallnuts 4:34p, my money is on RevChad for that one.

.

Madon what a day! It’s nice to come home after a long day, check in here and see what the unemployed are up to. Anywhos, I’ll let you get back to the jerking and the offing. Peace niggers.

5:42 pm July, 13 Anonymous said...

An open letter to Tito…Tito buddy, you achieved C list celebrity status. Hanging out with worn out porn stars isn’t going to improve on that. You should stick with what you are good at. Its hard to tell who is using who. “Lets put our fame together baby!”…I wonder who said that first. We get it Tito, you have a big wang that can satisfy even a porn star. I’m sure all her moans are real, you da man. Fuck that pussy Tito, give it to her good. Fuck, I am just a hater and im out of wine coolers once again.

6:17 pm July, 13 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t suck toes Nancy. Fantasy over for you. But I did see an alien spacecraft resembling a bug fly over a clearing in the forest around my house today when I was stoned and filmed it. I’ll post it if I can figure that kid shit out but not tomorrow on account of I have to attend another post DUI alcohol abuse seminar so I can keep driving with one of those dashboard breath fuckers.

.

I hate cops and other drunken drivers. Fuck.

6:25 pm July, 13 Stephanie said...

He’s got to fart,but he’s holding it in.

6:33 pm July, 13 The Dude said...

The more I look at this twit, the more he looks like Rachel Dratch in that Adam Sandler movie. http://www.dvdizzy.com/images/h-k/justgowithit-07.jpg

8:01 pm July, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

@The Rev, more like living daymare. And no its not over its still drudging along until his diabetes or liver finally fails him. Wait, what?

10:44 pm July, 13 Guid is Good said...

Say no to Photo-shopped pear.

11:56 pm July, 13 Said said...

Pho Pear no. I’d rather bone Rachel Dratch. Actually, that might be fun. hmmm…

12:00 am July, 14 The Dude said...

Fuck! That was me, wanting to bone RD. I’m still ~up~ to that task.

8:56 am July, 14 creature said...

big titties

9:57 am July, 14 The Dude said...

Rachel’s gotta button up his blouse.

.

Or Tito, Mongo – eww

10:33 am July, 14 creature said...

big tiities

11:41 pm July, 14 Little Willie said...

Pink shirt dude is quite the flamer. He can be found in the men’s toilet eagerly sucking guys off. The busty blondes are great threesome material. Honey chile on the right gives handjobs with the golden glove.

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