Monday, July 9, 2012
Headwound Horace and Angry Angie Approve of the HCwDB of the Week
Headwound Horace and Angry Angie may never claim an HCwDB of their own, so they’ll be content to vicariously approve another coupling’s victory (loss) instead.
Kind of like the failed athlete who cheers on his teammates at the Summer Games in London.
And by failed athlete, I mean insane professor of physics who’s discovered an alien in the trunk of a Chevy Malibu. And by Summer Games I mean Particle Man. And by London, I mean scarf.
Did Tom Cruise brand him with some kind of Xenu special branding iron and then remove the rest of his pathetic tiny little brain out of his right tear duct? I’m guessing that’s why this guy always has this expression on his face. That kind of dopey “It’s-OK-as-long-as-Angry-Angie-gives-me-my-meds” look along with the eye droop. All hail Xenu!
Hold on, new hypothesis: Angry Angie beats the shit out of him if he ever opens his mouth. Due to the number and severity of the beatings he can no longer form actual words but sounds more like Stephen Hawking getting flogged by an army of Michael J. Fox supports throwing rotten gherkins at his dome (hence the bandana). Yeah, that’s the one I’m sticking with.
I would like to thank Canada (Respect) and it’s awesome mass of fresh cool air that has swept down in to the States to blow out out all that stifling, funky heat. I knew I liked Canada for some reason, well that and the Strip clubs, hash, RUSH, for Vancouver giving the B’s Cam Neely, Lenny the Box and the Right Honorable Rev Chad. The Mountini’s & Trailer Park Boys not so much they suck!!!!
I’d like to thank Canada for housing RevChad too. Peace of mind knowing a border separates us.
In a fit of bath salts-induced rage, later that evening, Horace performed a mammogram on Angie’s huge muskmelons with a pair of vice grips, a waffle iron and a Polaroid camera.
You’re welcome. My pool is slowly decreasing from a chlorine and PH-Booster sucking 85 F with the cool breeze. Breeze keeps the fungus and bugs off my “tomatoes” but it sure messes up studying in the sun, fucking breeze and papers flying all over the place. Helps cure bondo and white paint fast except for all the fucking dust I’m gonna have to buff off. And by buff off I mean I don’t fucking care. Rockers are fixed
.
Best thing about cool breezes in Canada is nobody knows where the smell is coming from so light up your Kush, your M-39, your chemo. I’m going to puff on some Grapefruit Haze from The Box’ collection. This stuff can only be smoked under strict medical conditions like alrerady drunk. Sons.
.
May the Great Catholic God Of Creation bless us all with sufficient rain cause corn cleans my colon right clean.
After this second pic, I believe Headwound Horace is very deserving of a HCWDB OF THE WEEK of his own. And for what Angry Angie lacks in overall hottness, she makes up for in firm boobies.
The lobotomy incision sure is taking its sweet ass time to heal. Interestingly Horace had no changes in personality, cognitive function, behavior, emotional aptitude or intelligence after the procedure, that dang ol’ frontal lobe was just dead weight slowing him down!
Those cans are a nice addition.
Headwound Horacehole has the gene for stomach cancer tattooed on his deltoid. Fitting, aina?
This just in; the plastic surgeon who did Horacehole’s nose job with a hatchet says he used the same hatchet on Angie’s eyebrows. Says, I says.
@Et tu: Ricky, Julian, and Bubbs forever!
I wonder how many appletinis you’d have to buy her before she would let you motorboat those boobs?
Angie’s got some nice nap targets there. From Chapter One of “How to Wake Up With a Boner”.
Where’s this Horace Headwound y’all keep referring to?
It’s pronounced Saw weed?
wtf does 8,10,3 mean stacked up on top of each other (those roman numerals on the bag’s shoulder)?
by the way asshat, i have a message for you from jesus: “please have my likeness removed from your other stupid shoulder and for the sake of the future of christendom, let’s agree that you will no longer wear a gigantic rosary. oh, and kill thyself.”
Lack of hair,they go straight to the mandannas. And what a snoz on Horace Horseface.