Thursday, July 5, 2012

Melvin Finkelstein Wears White, Spends $1500 on Bottle Service, Is Still In Over His Head

But I suppose on some level we gotta give Melvin Finkelstein a little something, you know, for the effort.

# posted by douchebag1
1:31 pm July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Nice Almost Mons Pubis Reveal on pink bikini bottom at left.

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I give Melvin a notta the reason being is he’s enjoying the windfall from the buyout of his social media app venture that he founded in the basement of his family’s home when he was 16. You go Melvin!!! now’s the time to learn what a lot a money will do for a gangly youth.

1:34 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

daquigan?

1:35 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

Here is the order I would bang those bitches.

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#1 – girl number 1

#2 – girl number 3

#3 – girl number 2

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Then I’d run as fast as possible from girls numbers 4 & 5.

1:47 pm July, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Here’s the order I would bang those bitches. Nail the two blondes and punch Tran, Span, and Kim in the balls cause they wear cocks.

1:54 pm July, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

With the promise of hooking them up with some complimentary bottle service and the teeniest sliver of hope of a handjob, Melvin scrounged up some wounded soldiers from the other VIP areas and watered down the leftover booze with pool water and cleaning chemicals as well as grabbed a few carafes of whatever was laying around at the bar fermenting in the sun. Some improvised peacocking and seduction tips his pal Moishe had given him along with a few quick one liners and the snap of a camera phone later and he’s back to skimming the jizz out of the jacuzi before the big cheese gets wind of it all. That pic will earn him serious respect and street cred at Hebrew school this week as well as he’ll be dotting the eye on daquigans mons ink in his dreams for a good month when he tosses a load into a sweat sock.

2:16 pm July, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Does cleaning pools count as a kibbutz?

2:16 pm July, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

Does he have zinc oxide on his nose and he’s still pulling more bitches than you sorry ass neckbeards could shake your dick at.

2:38 pm July, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sweet Mary Mooseknuckle, that is a fine gaggle of barely legal hotness. Shame about the tatts defacing the last two, but I’d still bone them as a warm up before hitting the others with my disco stick.

2:54 pm July, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

daquigan is either a tropical drink or diarrhea of the vajayjay. Either way she looks like she’s been chewing paan, which might be a HCwDB first.

3:10 pm July, 5 hermit said...

I’d bang #5 first because I dig her underdeveloped uni-breast and her giant shoulder mole.

I’ve learned to lower my standards, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. And by bush i mean twisted wads of rusty barbed wire dripping with teenage puberty sweat and lunch meat.

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Cheap Bud Lite and 104° F don’t mix, I’m getting a headache.

3:35 pm July, 5 Duck Duck Douche said...

Left Side Blondie is a trust fund drainer. Drainer I says.

4:01 pm July, 5 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Where’s a good suicide bomber when you need one?

4:02 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

“chewing paan” hahahhaha

That is the best thing written on this site in well over a day.

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Love it.

4:20 pm July, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@FredN. I agree, McCrudeshoes always brings it. Sure, Hermit has my heart. But McCrudeshoes has the key to the Dreuchemobile, and by Dreuchemobile I mean my vagina.

4:25 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

Because it can seat 5 and their luggage comfortably?

4:25 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

^^ was supposed to appear in the above post

4:32 pm July, 5 Duck Duck Douche said...

“and by Dreuchemobile I mean my vagina”

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Is that meant to imply that your vagina gets around?

4:39 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

Googling daquigan gets you this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pG8ePpnuYo

5:14 pm July, 5 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

How does this shit even happen?

5:43 pm July, 5 Voulez-vous douchez? said...

Highschool Scott Storch. No pass.

5:47 pm July, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

@whoever gives a shit, nah, it means my vagina is like a Miata. No legroom and old dudes wanna drive it to feel younger.

5:54 pm July, 5 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sorry about banging up the Druechemobile. I was late for happy hour and the sidewalk looked wide enough. How was I to know someone unwisely put a mailbox in my way? I’m sure it will buff right out. And by buff I mean finger bang.

6:02 pm July, 5 Anonymous said...

This is irrefutable proof that so much free porn on the internet is affecting the little girlies.

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I can’t really explain why I say that, it’s just the way I sees it.

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I’ll take on of the leftmost three, not counting Billy, of course, but only after I have given #4 more mouth rash.

6:04 pm July, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Shit! ^^^ That was me.

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And I think that sentence was supposed to be: I’ll take on any of the …

6:28 pm July, 5 Wheezer said...

The bikini hotts are quite nice, but I’m curious about the statuesque blonde in the tight dress, upper right of the photo.

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I’d say I need a starter loan of, what, about $3,000?

6:47 pm July, 5 Guid is Good said...

Hats off to Melvin – I know just by looking I can’t afford Hott #1. I think #4 and #5 are thrown are free for a group booking.

6:54 pm July, 5 Anonymous said...

Jail bait,I says. All jail bait. You bang those,you go bye bye.

6:59 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

I may be spending WAY more time looking at this pic than I should, but the statuesque blonde is wearing They Live glasses, and the chick at the 11 o’clock position is sunbathing nude.

7:30 pm July, 5 FredN. said...

And….I know someone posted instructions on using an avatar a year or two back, but now I want to use one. Any help – it is possible on the new site?

7:49 pm July, 5 Sir David Douchenborough said...

Melvin may have been startled to discover that Asian women in real life are not the same he saw in his tentacle porn videos. In any event, I guess this is his way of partying before having been forced to go to dental school.

8:05 pm July, 5 Anonymous said...

Going from left to right is like looking at a bar graph of hottness. Hawt … hott … Melvin … kinda hot … dumpster fire … dumpster fire with an unwashed hobo inside.

11:39 pm July, 5 creature said...

does #1 have a furry mound?

…#4′s belly tat translates to “store your satchel here” in Moldavian

5:43 am July, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Hott, hott, Melvin, hott, meh, meh.

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Maybe the last two can suck chrome off a trailer hitch thru a garden hose…yeah, that’s all I got.

6:17 am July, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The blonde bleeths have Mons worthy of revealing, the other three are meh.

6:25 am July, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’d cover them all in monkey sauce, including lip fungus and chunky brewster. I’d even give melvin a squeeze on the left nut in exchange for a frosty beverage. if you are going to throw down and party, it’s no time for half measures.

11:37 am July, 6 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Clearly, Melvin ran out of “Hott Potion” after just three women.

3:05 pm July, 6 temp said...

Clearly he saw McLovin movie and they didnt!

8:04 pm July, 6 Stephanie said...

McLovin for the win!

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