Sunday, July 29, 2012

Michele Jenneke: The Hottest Hurdler in Creation

There is hope and light and lutes playing in the darkest crevices of the universe as I slather her pooch thigh suckle taut with massage oils from Tripoli and a dash of whipped cream, and then gnaw like a hungry Peruvian aardvark outside of Winterfell.

# posted by douchebag1
7:19 am July, 29 bigphatnotadouche said...

My hurtle got all tingly.

7:21 am July, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

May I be the first on this thread to opine that Michele has a Gold Medal Mons? Opine, I says.

7:33 am July, 29 Wheezer said...

She certainly has some gold medal pear!

7:52 am July, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

I bet she shaves her Ham Dangle™ you know for aerodynamics, wind resistance, anything to get an edge. Hurdling is a race on inches and by inches I mean she gives me wood.

8:01 am July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Her youthful awesomeness makes my cock quiver like a fleshy pink tomahawk. I’d hatchet her Ham Dangle and cocoon her luminescent pale skin with a pearly asparagus smelling custard.

.

4th placers.

8:03 am July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And I bet she gets called bitch a lot. Haters.

8:28 am July, 29 Ted Brogan said...

My shorts are now as tight as hers are.

9:45 am July, 29 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

LOL Game of Thrones reference for the win. Also, what happened with that black chick? Usually, they’re…nevermind.

10:38 am July, 29 douches Wild said...

She may produce a CONCURRENT Olympic event: while the women’s 110 high hurdles are occuring there can also be a “Men’s Tent-pitching Sprint”- most prodigious wood produced during the race gets gang-hickeyed by the sprinters.

11:01 am July, 29 Lyndon LaDouche said...

Watching Michelle made me break my Ramadan fast early.

12:50 pm July, 29 Douchble Helix said...

What’s not to like?

12:53 pm July, 29 Douchble Helix said...

I think we’re late to the party, lads.

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0bsorChpb8

1:06 pm July, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

She’s a young’un and has a ways to go before she makes it to the big dance ie; Olympics, the Worlds etc; I got time though and I’ll be keeping my eye out for her in the mean time. Here’s another hott hurdler and she’s right in the The Righteous Most Honorable Reverend Chads wheelhouse. I would ask that the Rev go easy on her based on this.

.

1:07 pm July, 29 Bubbadouche said...

True story. In that race…

She beat Wang.

1:07 pm July, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

^http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/Olympian-Lolo-Jones-Part-2-62512/1407709

2:31 pm July, 29 douche equis said...

Holy crap. Other than mentioning the admirable withholding of “down under” jokes by y’all, I have no further comment.

3:38 pm July, 29 The Dude said...

I got an o’Pine occuring.

3:50 pm July, 29 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Words fail me.

You all realize that just because of this tiny vid, this chick easily qualifies in the Top 5 of Coolest, Most Awesomest Chicks of the last CENTURY, right?

WOW.

4:09 pm July, 29 Anonymous said...

I thought Sundays were strictly reserved for Star Trek with you best friend type of shenanigans. Where is the douchebag in this video?

5:13 pm July, 29 ^Nancy Dreuche said...

^Fuck off and don’t ruin the sweet memory of this precious petal that we will all carry in our brain/penis for decades or until we see more of her. And by more of her I mean I’d chew the syphallitic wounds off of her peri-menstruation cycles earning my Red Wings lo these many years after I first tasted the fruit of post-pubescence. Son.

.

Amen

5:49 pm July, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

That warm-up should be required of all women under size four, regardless of what profession they pursue. I’m talking to you blonde latte pourer with the tee-shirt that plunges below the top of your apron and the levis that rest on your hips and reveal the two dimples at the top of your pear everytime you lean over to get the creme out of the fridge.

Hip swivels for the win I tells ya. And by win I mean pole vaulting is next up for Mrs. Scrotato Head.

5:51 pm July, 29 Anonymous said...

Wait, why would I ever want to bake cookies with you? Who does that?

6:07 pm July, 29 Olddog1 said...

She runs like a gazelle. Truly a thing of beauty and grace.

8:36 pm July, 29 Said said...

The bitch can run, jump and dance. I want her to have my children. Many of them. And I mean *bitch* in the sense that she gives me a ~renob~ holy wow! I mean cow, but not her. huh?

8:37 pm July, 29 The Dude said...

Fuck! I have two, count ‘em two post-its reminding me to sign in.

10:48 pm July, 29 Little Willie said...

I got such a rock hard boner watching those hips wiggle side to side I dropped my paperbag bottle of Night Train. She would be a great ride in the sack.

6:01 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

i like hurdles

6:02 am July, 30 hurdle boy said...

i mean…

.

i like hurdles

.

.

.

son

6:05 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

Ham Dangle™? You best be lucky you got a trademark on it, Et Tu…

.

I’d order a Ham Dangles™ appetizer as one of my Ultimate Trio choices at Applebee’s; along with taint squares and pepperoni nips.

.

Bog Limnologists.

6:23 am July, 30 Douche Wayne said...

“She walked like she was jumpin’ some hurdles,

I was happy as a kid into some Mutant Ninja Turtles . . .”

– LL Cool J, Milky Cereal

6:27 am July, 30 Sir Huddleston Fuddleston said...

I would most resolutely fail to hurdle her ass.

2:10 pm July, 30 Mr. Biggs said...

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I enjoy the Olympics. This and this alone. The rest are just footnotes.

8:08 am July, 31 Dr Douchegood said...

TMZ picked up this same story and video…

10:53 am August, 2 douchehive said...

Wow, just wow.

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