Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Reader Mail: Sarah Tags a Carrot

PIC DELETED

Sarah writes in:

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Brett is a personal trainer at Gold’s by day, but when he goes out at night, he loves to wear his pink V neck tshirt all the time. In the first pic he shows his best douchy face. Just to support his douchness, I included his body building pic as well as another from 3 weeks ago with the same pink V neck and another hot chick.

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It is 2012. Pink douche-neck t-shirts are orange ‘roid tanning are both still out there. The battle most certainly continues.

# posted by douchebag1
9:47 am July, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Brett is too young to belong to the cult of Miami Vice… how the hell did he get hooked on ’80’s style pink douchewear? If I had a kid, I’d rather he blow hobos for crack than go retro ’80’s (assuming these are different things to begin with).

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Brett’s mom looks kinda milfy-hot. I’d Crockett her Tubbs.

9:49 am July, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m all for fitness, but any ‘sport’ that requires you to prance around a stage flexing while surrounded by 10 other guys doing the same thing sounds more like an event in the gay olympics.

10:10 am July, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This is the moment when I stop drinking carrot juice. His Titleist hat is not too bad, but there is no way that Bronzed Buff(oon) Bieberbag can swing a golf club. Total douche. Son.

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Ricos

10:12 am July, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Do we know if main pic chic is Sara, cause I’d hit it? And by hit it I mean shove it hard and deep into her Milfy Way.

10:14 am July, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Pink shirt on radioactive orange skin is a douche of a different color, this bilirubin tinted shower-room pecker checker bases his fasion choices on a tub of supermarket rainbow sherbet! The orange menace is outta control! Voluntarily turning your skin the color of a bowel movement is no way to go through life! I’m pretty sure he dreams about construction workers eating bananas and kielbasa and by dreams I mean nocturnal emissions on a regular basis and by nocturnal emissions on a regular basis I mean he wrings his nut-hugging man-panties (manties?) out into the blender with his brotein and by brotein I mean essence of bulbourethral gland.

10:19 am July, 25 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

There is a certain mongoloidal quality to the body building pic. Are we sure Brett isn’t a crayon-eater?

10:28 am July, 25 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I dunno about crayolas but I’m pretty sure he had/still has a well developed paste palate dating back to kindergarten. Elmers 1987 batch number 14356B was a good vintage according to the paste connoisseurs.

10:30 am July, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

Sounds like Sarah is a jilted ex, just sayin. Now the chick in the 3rd pic has that naughty about her and what to look to be countrified farm fed naturals. I loves me some countrified, farm fed, naturals.

10:37 am July, 25 Anonymous said...

Non-matching collar’n’cuffs blond in main photo is alright. Definitely rootable.

10:51 am July, 25 DoucheyWallnuts said...

May I be the first on this thread to call Brett a pussy?

10:53 am July, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I agree with Et Tu Douche. Seems like whenever some girl outs a douche bag and sends a pic to DB1, they have some agenda. No doubt Brett belongs in the closet of poo and is probably a complete tool, but I’m going to take a wild guess and say he probably tapped Sarah and didn’t bother to call her again. Life is full of lessons to be learned, Sarah. First one that comes to mind is don’t bang orange bags in pink shirts.

11:23 am July, 25 The Dude said...

Val Kilmer Jr. should know better.

12:18 pm July, 25 jonezy said...

I like how all of Sarah’s pics look like they came from the same roll of film out of some disposal camera purchased at the local Walgreens.

.

‘Member those drive up film developing booths way back when? Didn’t the fat guy working the camera booth in Police Academy get dumped into the river while working in that thing? Kids watching that movie nowadays would be like “what the hell is that? what do you mean “develop film”? Why didn’t people just download it straight from the camera to their PCs?”

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Because Steve Guttenberg, that’s why.

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What was I saying?

1:44 pm July, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m pretty sure this is what’s going through Brett’s head in the second pic. It’s the only thing that can explain the look on his face.

2:27 pm July, 25 Stephanie said...

Brett’s been eating paint chips.

8:19 pm July, 25 Douche Pest Controller said...

What a bag! It’s a shame this MILF baggette doesn’t know better than to chase Oompa Loompa Douches around at bars. At her age she should be ashamed! But I’m gonna take a chance and say she probably has little shame left after having a plate of Duck a l’Orange.

1:59 am July, 26 Tattsiana Groinshavia said...

Closet of poo nomination for Brett?

1:52 pm July, 26 Gadrock said...

Hahaha, I know who this guy is.  One of many giant douches that has watched retarded TV for years and brought douchedom to Gadsden, AL.  There is an army of these goons all over town now ruining the area’s proud image of redneck trash.  They have gay-ass low self-esteem wars between two gyms, Gold’s and Absolute Fitness, to see which factory can pump out more societal “hemoROID” users.  And God help the Plastics that chase these douchebags around town.  They all think they are models yet the only folks to see their photos are their Facebook friends.  It is a sad day to see my hometown represented on this site.  I never thought it would come to this!

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