Monday, August 6, 2012

Arturo Has Not Heard of Deodorant

Arturo has not heard of many things.

Like quantum string theory.

And soap.

Skinny Kathy regrets quitting her job at Chotckes. But is waiting on a good interview at Flingers.

# posted by douchebag1
11:17 am August, 6 Red Headed Woman said...

Skinny Kathy Has Not Heard of Sunscreen.

11:26 am August, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Arturo has not heard that excessive steroid / HGH use will turn your grapes into raisins.

11:27 am August, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Arturo’s torso is thicker than a non-newtonian fluid under infinite shear stress.

11:29 am August, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Arturo’s torso is so thick it creates a micro-climate that causes algae grows on his door.

11:31 am August, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Arturo’s door is stained with blood, vomit, and feces from his last vict… I mean girlfriend. You’d think he would have the sense to scrub down his dunge… I mean apartment before kidnap… err… inviting his new girlfriend over. And by inviting over, I mean ritualized barbell depredation.

11:31 am August, 6 Duck Duck Douche said...

Skinny Kathy Has Not Heard of Antibiotics.

11:32 am August, 6 Duck Duck Douche said...

Skinny Kathy Has Not Heard of Self-respect.

11:32 am August, 6 Duck Duck Douche said...

Skinny Kathy Has Not Heard of Restraining Orders.

11:45 am August, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Arturo has not heard of furniture unless that pile of skulls can be used as a chair.

.

Arturo has not heard of living in a place that isn’t a crack house unless the lack of anything but a boom box gives it away.

.

And oh yeah, WE’RE ON ANOTHER FUCCEN PLANET RIGHT NOW BITCHES!

11:51 am August, 6 Vin Douchal said...

He looks like Tighty Armani’s brother, Stretchy

12:00 pm August, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Arturo wears a rosary tattoo as a reminder of the prayers he likes to hear… the prayers of his victims who will never leave his grimy lair alive.

12:28 pm August, 6 Bueller said...

Looks like Crystal is still hanging douchey. But Smoot is nowhere to be found?

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2009/12/18/hcwdb-of-the-year-smoot-and-crystal/

12:32 pm August, 6 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Jeez, what an APE.

Orange skin, spiked hair, fagit necklace, ape arm tattoo……..yup, a douchebag. I’d be scared shitless to say it to his face, though.

I kinda like Kathy. She’s not exactly a knockout, and that fungal growth on her left arm is a profound turnoff, but she isn’t really a total disaster.

12:32 pm August, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I knew if I looked hard enough I could find a beginner’s article for Arturo about String theory (what a fuccen crock!) to start with:

.

http://arxiv.org/pdf/1202.1500v2.pdf

.

Wait ’til he gets to the harder stuff!

12:37 pm August, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I fear for his parts. Specifically, that they’re the size of peanuts. And that when Kathy giggles at the sight, roid rage will kick in.

.

And Kathy won’t giggle at them again…

12:50 pm August, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Arturo’s torso, and cranium, is as thick as a brick.

.

Tulls

1:05 pm August, 6 FredN. said...

Dirty door = dirty douche.

1:05 pm August, 6 hermit said...

Skinny Kathy is bracketed by dumbells.

1:10 pm August, 6 Scroteophobic said...

Doc, doc, doc…

.

That ain’t String theory. That is minimal length theory. It is implicitly part of String theory but also part of the foam theories and several other candidates. I think even stuff like Causal Dynamical Triangulation has it in as part of their vertex construction mechanism.

.

You are a tease. You got me all lathered up thinking about when I first discovered Strings, hoping like a repeatedly jilted lover that this time, post Witten’s revolution, it would make more sense. Not be so full of unfulfilled promises and ugly, ugly kludges marring its mathematical beauty. And just as this anticipation peaked I clicked the preprint and found an article on minimal length and the generalised uncertainty principle.

.

I’m going to have to retire with some laminated penguin diagrams and that picture of the Z machine going full blast. Hmm, now do I try something new? That dilepton decay diagram for the Higgs is pretty virgin territory for me…, Any tips? Feynmann diagrams you favour for rapid relief of tension? I’m kind of bored of CKM matrices and neutrino mixing triangles. I need some new material for my theoretical physics spank bank.

1:10 pm August, 6 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

Where was this picture taken? Drug house? Mob hideout? Wes Craven’s wet dream?

1:12 pm August, 6 MISSY said...

WASH YOUR GOD DAMN DOOR UOU FUCKING

ASSHOLE

1:25 pm August, 6 Dickie Fingers said...

I wouldn’t wipe my schwantz on the drapes in that place, or on skinny either.

1:35 pm August, 6 Bobzilla said...

A little Magic Eraser action would clean that door right up. I wish they made them for the soul after having to view this oaf and his lady loaf.

1:42 pm August, 6 Vin Douchal said...

So,… here’s an MLB authorized LSD flashback

4:54 pm August, 6 Douche Wayne said...

Skinny Kathy doesn’t like to talk about her flair.

5:07 pm August, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Arturo run out of toilet paper. Wipe ass on door….Groo!”

7:38 pm August, 6 Troy Tempest said...

Flingers – HA! Love te office space ref.

7:44 pm August, 6 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Arturo needs to get out the Formula 409 and Brawny after that door jamb. He is very untidy. Clearly never spent any time in the Marine Corps…

8:45 pm August, 6 Stephanie said...

Visiting the ape house at the zoo. Just slightly out of the photo is the giant playball,and rope to swing from.

4:43 am August, 7 MISSY said...

WAH YOUR FUCKING DOORS ASS WIPE

5:47 am August, 7 DarkSock said...

Perhaps if he’d wash his hands the door wouldn’t stay so FUCCEN DIRTY

11:51 am August, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Scroteophobic

.

I was goin’ for the easy stuff for Arturo to ease him into M theory. He could take a bath in the quantum foam if he so wishes. At least it may get that door of his clean (on a level we’ll never see). As for me personally, I’m trying to marry Bohmian mechanics with a quantized version of space-time. Lots of dead ends to run into there. And run into pretty hard. Good thing my head is as hard as Arturo’s.

1:06 pm August, 7 Douchble Helix said...

Great catch, Bueller!

.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6358/crystalkathy.jpg

2:11 pm August, 7 Stephanie said...

It wouldn’t take much makeup and he’s in the next Planet Of The Apes movie and an extra.

4:58 pm August, 7 Douchesmaximus said...

Is that the clubhouse door from Kaufman Stadium circa 1983?

9:47 am August, 8 siliconelover said...

funny thing is, thats actually kathys house! white trash coke head/pill popping/heroin addict!

2:10 pm August, 12 Anonymous said...

She looks like that actress in The Waterboy, when Adam Sandler attends the party & those 2 groupies hit on him. lol

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