Breaking: Faux-Punk Manic Pixie Dreamgirl Cliche to Marry Nickelbag
Someone’s marrying someone. This is news for some reason.
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AVRIL Lavigne has shocked fans by announcing she’s engaged – to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger.
The pair have only been dating for six months, after teaming up to write a song for the Canadian pop star’s new album.
Avril and Chad – who, at 37, is 10 years older than his bride-to-be – have managed to keep their romance under wraps since meeting.
But a spokesperson for Avril has confirmed she’s to tie the knot after the singer retweeted news of their engagement.
The unlikely duo fell in love while working together on a tune for the singer’s upcoming fifth studio album – the follow-up to her 2011 collection Goodbye Lullaby.
An insider told People: “A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together.
“He makes her so happy. Both of their families could not be more excited.”
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I did not know that the good Rev’s name had it’s etymology steeped in this douchenozzles bio- shame on me. But moreso, shame on the real Chad- what a fuckin ‘bag…
I think the most un-punk thing someone could do is marry the lead singer of Nickelback.
This couple is the very definition of “Meh”. Middling talent backed by mega-conglomerate corporate budgets over-exposing their feeble product to content starved pre-pubescents spending their not-hard-earned allowances on whatever is the dreck of the day.
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Avril and Chad are purveyors of “Dreck Of The Day”
And Nickelback? Stay the fuck out of my country music, you holes
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“Sit The Fuck Down! Sit Down !”
Cute little fella
Will this be their wedding song?
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How do you marry a guy who head is half the size of yours?
‘sup Rev
Weird. I thought Avril Levine was dead.
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And that Chad Kroeger was woman.
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Learn somethin’ everyday.
Avril Lavigne is to punk rock as ping pong is to global thermonuclear war. We’ve all cut wet farts that could be auto-tuned that sound better than the bilge these two pump out! This is the shit someone’s Bleethy ass girlfriend downloads as a ringback tone!!
The over / under on this marriage currently stands at 6 months. Um, I think I’ll take the under. Please let me know when the divorce is filed, as I try to stay as uniformed as possible when it comes to the celebrity (and that term is used very loosly here) news.
Every tune Nickelback has ever done sounds like the soundtrack to a light beer commercial. That’s no way to go through life, Advil.
This is almost as exciting as the time I found out my high school shop teacher married his TA. Twenty years after we all graduated. What was I talking about? I nodded off spell checking my first sentence.
Sweet fucking cock on a pike. I met her ex at a hot air balloon festival I help out with, and by help out I mean bartender N’mean. Ugly little fucker but a nice dude. Her career went up, his tanked. Is Chad Kroeger worse than Brody Jenner? I don’t know. The worst part of the linked story is that a Nicklebag lick Chad here can afford to gice his ex-common-law spouse 400K/yr.
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Girlfriends
Their first cd collaboration will be titled “Poo Cocktail Supreme”
I’d hate fuck tiny Advil though cause I like pink hair and sexual abuse.
Avril Levigne. Scarberia’s bleethy toxic contribution to the death of music. She’s from a suburb of Toronto called Scaroborough. It’s remote and boring and cold as fuck in the winter, hence, Scarberia.
That ain’t Chad Kroeger. That’s the dude from Sum-41. She married that dude first.
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Yup. Shit I shouldn’t know but I do.
I consider myself a patriotic Canadian but I’m proud to say I’ve never listened to Avril (nor Shania, for that matter). Incidently, is it just me or is Avril looking a little rough in that photo? I guess she’s all grown up now and/or her team of airbrushers missed this photo.
I can tell Avril likes to take it in the ass; She’s Canadian.
Wait…Reverend isn’t the real Chad Kroeger?
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I need to sit down for a minute…
Both of them don’t look too happy after only 6 months of screwing around. They just look like a couple of kids going to the local Olive Garden. I’m betting the marriage lasts about a year from now. Body language says a lot.
Jerkoff on the right looks like a ventriloquist dummy.
…who the fuck are these two pooholes?
Really fortunate Canadians….
that is the first sign of the apocalypse
Not “Chadril” as the media will surely name them, but “Chadvil” — because we’ll all need lots of Advil to survive the media coverage.
Dear god, please let there NOT be a sex tape.
By the way, Troy, you can’t blame Scarberia for Avril. She was born in Belleville and then moved to Napanee. No, I didn’t have that factoid memorised, I looked it up. 🙂