Saturday, August 25, 2012

Comment of the Week: Troy Tempest

Topping what was a superb thread of mock in What it Looks Like When a Father Fails, legendary talking puppet T.T. busts loose and wins the coveted Comment of the Week:

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Her belly button forms a tiny cave, where little people live. There’s 4 of them – Jimmy, Bobbie, Lori, and Denise.

Jimmy’s the quiet one. He is stern and serious and only eats okra.

Bobbie’s the funny one. He can tell jokes about raping baby faces that always gets everyone in a good mood.

Lori’s the pretty one. She’s got a body that screams “f@#k me please!” Unfortunately, she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so her body usually says, “let’s watch baseball.”

Denise is the smart one. She knows everything worth knowing, and anything she doesn’t know, their little tiny kitty cat, Tingles “the ring tailed chickabeastie defender of the realm”, certainly does know. Because he went school for for home economics and advanced napping.

Together they live in her belly button. They mine it for lint, and that is how they make clothing – everything is made of felt.

Some times the belly button gets unhappy and says “Bwaaaa – you people go away!” So they just pour booze into it, and that shuts the drunken old slut right up.

————–

# posted by douchebag1
1:15 pm August, 25 The Dude said...

“Here, suck this. Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

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^it works

1:41 pm August, 25 DarkSock said...

Although Reverend Chad is hands-down the site lush, when Troy gets his swerve on he’s tripping balls downhill.

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Son.

1:56 pm August, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

Good job Troy!!!

2:07 pm August, 25 UFO Destroyers said...

Well, there’s a picture I thought I’d never see: Sienna Miller with Snookie at Coachella.

2:55 pm August, 25 This just in... said...

Le Kudos Troy. I thought the little poem thingy you did awhile back this week was good too. And damn if I didn’t think that thread was gonna make RevChad finally hit bottom. Better luck next time gang.

3:03 pm August, 25 Wheezer said...

The puppet knows his shit, y’all. Word to Troy!

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I can’t believe an ant trail ‘bag photobombed a hipsterbag. Maybe they’ll have a culture clash/slapfight. The grease will splatter everywhere!

3:31 pm August, 25 This just in... said...

@The Dude, but what if I don’t have a dick to stick in his mouth? Then how do I get him to stop talking?

7:14 pm August, 25 DarkSock said...

Here’s the thing. All of us (except hermit, who poops in a satchel) have toilets connected to private doodie pipes, which in turn connect to the public sewer system. This prevents all of us, except plumbers, from having to deal with this unpleasant necessary.
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But the term “plumb” means “level”; if these pipes did not have slope, then gravity would not take the mud tubes away from us.
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The term “plumber” is false. Our entire society is built upon a lie.
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Medical FACT.
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Also, dat ass:
arse

9:07 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

I hope those are bloodsucking caterpillars on TonugueDouche’s face. The lethal kind

9:09 pm August, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m just rolling a doob to get to sleep like. Pretty drunk as well after wishing my God-daughter off to a new life in universitytown at Papa Kroeger’s house. Mrs. gave her an undetermined roll of cash cause she rolls like that and her pussy is like a candy. I eat it all the time even though the penis is havin a rough run on the Big Pharma again. But I have no pain and the acedemics are going better so I’ll just stick with the coke/viagara erection for a bit. A

Jewish vagina tastes so creamy, being the promised vagina, it’s like letting a warm blintz melt the cheesy center into your mouth.

.

Dark Sock poses an ages-long quandary about plumbers. Why are they plumbers when they angle everything over an eighth of an inch the fuckers?

I’ll tell ya if I had it all to do over again I’d be a plumber and now I’d be intsalling only luxury bathrooms and kitchens to the reviled yuppies and analizing their daughters.

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And what Troy said. He’s stoned Son. Nice ass on the chick above. And architects never stop complaining.

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Lloyd’s ( I’m really stoned Son. Wow. New stuff from the Compassion Club is called Catatonic and is correct Sir)

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Wow!

9:10 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

What’s the chance this is a Phish concert and green glasses in back sold them mescaline cut with Ex-Lax ? Have you ever used a porta potty while tripping balls? Gotta be a freakin’ nightmare

9:12 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...
9:13 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

These guys will never be equalled:

GDead- Shakedown Street

9:19 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

I’m with ya, Rev. Pulled a muscle near my hip jogging with the pitbull. All I had left was some Soma until I hit the doc for some vicodin on Monday.

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If you crush up a Soma into a small glass of brandy you forget your worries. Chase it with a few Blue Moon Honey Moon Summer Ales and you’ve got you some nice smelling urine

.

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Is it open seaon on Pears?

9:23 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

9:26 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

9:27 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

9:31 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

These guys will never be equalled, either

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Chicago- Make Me Smile

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Terry fuccen Kath

9:48 pm August, 25 Vin Douchal said...

If (when) the Prophet Elijah returns John McLaughlin will play his entrance theme on The Jimmy Kimmel show

9:55 pm August, 25 Reverned Cahd not looges in ans real stooned said...

I dig Vin’s tits and asses ans Chicago but I’in a Deep Purple passing out zone mood son. Don’t put your cock in a dirty girl Son. Bu you cn usually shive it in her mooth.

.

4:59 am August, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

Re; the Dead. I have a massive collection of live shows and consider myself a connoisseur of live Dead. If you ever want to get your hands on some hit up DB1 for my email addy.

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I saw many shows back in the day, Worcester, Hartford, Providence, Springfield, The Garden to name a few. I’m no stinkin hippie(No Respect) never was but I just liked their musicianship. When they were on, locked & loaded no one could touch them.

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I leave you with one of their finest Shakedown Streets. (Brent killed it all night long) also check out Spanish Jam into Drums for a jazz like vibe. You wouldn’t even think it was The Dead.

http://archive.org/details/gd1982-04-17.fob.nak700.glassberg.78747.sbeok.flac16

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Oh yeah almost forgot, Mmmmm……….. Pear, copious amounts of Pear

11:14 am August, 26 Said said...

VD’s 9.23pm pink Pear makes me tremble, because all the blood’s gone south hoping for a vajaycation.

7:14 pm August, 26 Troy Tempest said...

Thank you all – my internet service went down Saturday morning, and only just came back up about an hour ago. All this pear is giving me a woody, but that’s par for the course out here in Puppetville. I just had a tremendous dinner of Elk Sausage and cerviche and a half dozen mojitos, so I’m about to pass out. Cheers!

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