Friday, August 10, 2012

Friday Haiku

In bed, Lance causes

Seven seconds of terror,

Much like the Mars probe.

Space man is not thrilled.

Ground control to major Tom:

You’re gay as Bowie.

— hermit

Steve’s new pick-up line:

“Open the pod bay doors, H.A.L.”

results in dry balls.

— Douche Wayne

Luke Guystalker just

Wants these icky girls to go.

Saddles up Mugwomps.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

One small step for man

One giant step for douchebags

These steps are backwards.

— DoucheyWallnuts

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:24 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

At Star Wars party

Girls say “This is not the droid

We were looking for.”

6:27 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuzz Aldrin has a

Raging boner but can’t leave

Bubble to touch chicks.

6:27 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Bubble Boy attends

senior prom with not one but

two medical aides.

6:28 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He wears a spacesuit

Since the gyroscope was put

In her Monkey Hole.

6:29 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Space douche crash lands on

Planet Bleeth is one giant

Roofie in orbit

6:29 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Steve’s new pick-up line:

“Open the pod bay doors, H.A.L.”

results in dry balls.

6:30 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One small peen for man.

One giant weep for woman

Kind. Stretch Armstrong.

6:31 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

The spacesuit will not

Protect from vag MRSA

The Bleeths are packing

6:32 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Luke Guystalker just

Wants these icky girls to go.

Saddles up Mugwomps.

6:32 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Danger Doctors Bleeth

We are lost in Douchebag space

And I just farted

6:33 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Ejaculation

In zero Gs is a drag

Ropes in the helmet

6:33 am August, 10 hermit said...

Space man is not thrilled.

Ground control to major Tom:

You’re gay as Bowie.

6:34 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Steve invented his

fart amplification suit

to hotbox own ass.

6:34 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Chinese girl sniffing

His chest, “Me smell you long time

Chuck. Smells like egg-bilge.”

6:35 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

On a positive

Note his Del Taco farts are

Contained within suit

6:36 am August, 10 saulgoode42 said...

Nasa Mohawk Guy

Takes a wrong turn somewhere and

Lands on Heranus

6:38 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

With Queensryche concert

Going on in background. Space

Has overdressed again.

6:38 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Douchebag crash lands on

Alien planet finds eggs

Grieco bursts from chest

6:40 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

One small step for man

One giant step for douchebags

And all mankind weeps

6:40 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

His yogurt capsule

Crash lands into Uranus

Butt syphilis go!!

6:40 am August, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Damn you, Hermit!

.

Ziggy Stardust Douche

Can you hear me Major Tom?

Take your VD pills…

6:40 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

One small step for man

One giant step for douchebags

These steps are backwards

6:41 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Just like the Vulcans

Steve mates ev’ry seven years;

makes up for lost time.

6:43 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

“Calculator in

your pocket, or are you just

happy to see us?”

6:43 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

In space no one can

Hear you queef! Grieco virus

Goes galaxy wide.

6:47 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

“Are you seeing this,

Prometheus?” First contact

with female humans.

6:48 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

This mental image

worth all the money Steve paid

for Total Recall.

6:50 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Comicon douche trys

Pon farr for ‘tang seven more

Years of blue balls Spock!

6:50 am August, 10 FredN. said...

Herpster bubble head

makes big mistake with zipper

Thank you space vacuum!

6:52 am August, 10 Troy Tempest said...

My mother said to

get things done you better not

mess with Major Tom.

6:54 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Steve tried to impress

the ladies with his Moonwalk.

Ur doing it wrong.

6:55 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Space bag travels space

By lighting his farts hits warp

Speed with Del Taco

6:57 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Space bag named his wang

Spunk-nik, the perv leaves his ropes

Orbiting the Earth

6:58 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“I am the spaceman,”

No, you’re a douchebag, fuckface

A fuckface, I says

6:59 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Close Encounters of

the Douche Kind. Ends up f*cking

his mashed potatos.

7:00 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Reverend Chad just

Realized new idea for

Smokeless mobile bong.

7:00 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This is one small step

For douche, and one giant fail

For society.

7:02 am August, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Space bag attempts the

Old alien probe line to

Get ass epic fail

7:02 am August, 10 hermit said...

Space Program’s new tool,

for extended space travel.

They call it Poon Tang®.

7:03 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Fogs up helmet, thinks

Jen Aniston and Lucy

Liu made out with him.

7:09 am August, 10 Douche Wayne said...

Offers ride in his

moon rover, ends up being

Chevy Astrovan.

7:25 am August, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Come see Buzz Lightbeer

Ask May Ling for some re-entry

Into her black hole

7:42 am August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Later that evening

Randy is found drunk and nude

Screaming “Shania!”

7:46 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’ve been trying to

Work the word “hymen” into

A Friday Haiku

7:51 am August, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This just patented:

Device for huffing paint fumes

While masturbating

7:54 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This picture smells like

Egg rolls, vodka, herp and Tang

I got nothing else

8:02 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This scene is as dead

As Andy Reid’s oldest son

Wait, is this too soon?

8:14 am August, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

’tis curse or blessing

the other end of that tube’s

in Anya’s starfish?

8:49 am August, 10 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Librarian Hott

Herp so bad needs hazmat suit

Tests Amy’s Yiddishkeit

8:52 am August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Yiddishkeit FTW.

1:17 pm August, 10 The Dude said...

Yiddishkeit sends me

Spinning in the wonderland

Of Libarry hotts

1:25 pm August, 10 The Dude said...

In space no one hears

When the gyroscope is put

In her monkeyhole

3:42 pm August, 10 Wheezer said...

“These steps are backwards,”

for the muddafuggin’ win.

Mudda. Fuggin’. Win.

8:42 pm August, 11 Little Willie said...

A goddam spacesuit. This asshole thinks he’s a real life member of the Robinson family from Lost In Space. Seriously he has some obvious emotional disturbance mental health issues going on that force him to hide himself from the world in a fucking spacesuit costume. The gal on the left’s head is a couple sizes too large for the accompanying body. Her freakishness attracts her to other losers like Delwood the spaceman. Asian glasses chick is Delwood’s therapist about to have him put away in the looney bin.

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